Planet Geico
Original Voltron Endorsement
Coran: This is terrible. Zarkon’s forces have obliterated the countryside, two out of five of the lions need repairs, Haggar’s cat ate all of the space mice, King Alfor’s ghost has been exorcised and cannot save us, and Nanny accidentally shrunk everyone’s underwear in the wash.
Keith, Lance, and Allura: Oh no!
Pidge: Don’t get too upset, guys, I have some good news…
Hunk: What’s that, little buddy?
Pidge: I just saved a bunch of money on our Voltron insurance by switching to Geico!
Second Voltron Endorsement
Cossack: This stinks, Haggar! I ran out of bombs, your cat confused my helmet for a litterbox, Lotor’s drunk again, Merla’s got PMS, and Zarkon’s taking it out on me by assigning me to bathroom cleanup duty for a week.
Haggar: Cheer up, Cossack. I have some good news.
Cossack: What?
Haggar: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my robeast insurance by switching to Geico.
Haggar: Have fun on fecal patrol!
Kitty: Meow!
Third and Final Voltron Endorsement
Zarkon: Lotor, I’ve had it with you! You’ve failed me for the last time! I’m sentencing you to heavy labor in the Pit of Skulls after a six-month imprisonment in our worst dungeon, and I’m taking away your wine and allowance!
Lotor: Father, you can’t!
Haggar: *goes up to Zarkon and whispers something into his ear, and Zarkon smiles*
Zarkon: Well, now that is good news!
Lotor: You’ve changed your mind about punishing me?
Zarkon: No. But we just conquered Planet Geico, and now everyone pays their insurance to me. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and by the way, Lotor, your bill is overdue.
*cut to Planet Arus*
Coran: Great Gods of Arus!
Keith: What’s wrong, Coran?
Pidge: He just saw the bill from Planet Geico. They’ve not only quadrupled our Voltron insurance, but it says here that only way they’ll keep our policy is if we “stick the Blazing Sword where the sun don’t shine”, and if Princess Allura delivers the check personally wearing nothing but a thong bikini!
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