And the loser of the month for July 2006 is...

Cric!

Pointy-eared blue guys like the Sea Team leader of the Voltron Force give self-respecting Doomites like us a bad image.  On behalf of everyone on planet Doom and our Drule cousins on the other side of the galaxy, before we get started on what a loser Cric is, I want to point out that we have no common genetic links to weenies like this guy!  (Though that Cinda babe isn't too hard on the eyes...)

Ahem.  What was I saying?  Oh yeah, why Cric is a loser!

First of all, he's a sub-captain of a Voltron Force.

Even worse, Cric wasn't even good enough to be a real captain like Jeff, who managed to stab his own ship and keep his job.  If he's in competition for command with a guy with skills like that, you know this guy has to be a real winner.

Cric is also kind of uptight and worries a lot.  You know those nervous types, the kind you want to bitch-slap because they're always spouting doom and gloom?  Well Cric is kinda like that only worse, because he has psychic feelings.  Not even concrete handy psychic visions, like the kind Haggar can whip up in her crystal ball, but these ominous "premonitions" that he freaks out the others into buying into.

Sure, sometimes they pan out, but if this guy had any sense at all he'd be operating his own pay psychic line out of the Explorer and raking in the bucks on the side, or at least hustling dumb chicks like Ginger into turning over their military pay for hot tips on what guy really loves her this week.

All of that is pretty pathetic, however, the biggest reason we here on Doom feel that Cric deserves the Loser of the Month award can be summed up in one word.

COCONUTS.

Yes, Vehicle Voltron's sensible Sea Team leader helped convince the entire force aboard the Explorer to detour off of their mission to hit planet Aloha up for a junk food run where he and Cinda could kick back and satisfy their piña colada craving.  Even worse, he sold Jeff and the military honchos on the Explorer on this brilliant scheme that wound up resulting in an unanticipated skirmish with the Drules during which a couple of GA soldiers got blasted.  Vehicle Voltron bailed them out as usual, and the GA issued some press statement claiming the axed soldiers were "free to pick coconuts together in peace forever" (Yeah, coconuts in the astral maybe!) but as far as I heard Cric's great psychic powers failed to foresee that little oopsie.

So to the galaxy's biggest coconut head I happily offer the medal he truly deserves:  Loser of the Month!

May it pan out to be just as insulting as you predicted it would!

Want to see the past Losers of the Month?  Visit the Loser Archives!

This section was inspired by a friend from the Thundercats fandom and her memorable Loser of the Week feature on her now-defunct website.  If you have any nominees for a future Loser of the Month, by all means send them to me!

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