And the losers of the month for January 2007 are...

Jamie, Amber, and the other whiny brats from that backwater planet Haggar dragged me to!

Over here on Doom we're kicking off 2007 with a group loser award.  And since they're only a bunch of whiny kids anyhow, they get to share it.  Sharing's something you goody-goody types like to go on about anyway, so consider this a not-so-friendly life lesson from those that loathe you on planet Doom.

These twerps earn the loser award for being an unruly bunch of brats that hang around the Voltron force and screwed up my chance to get my hands on a Voltron lion of my own! 

As if Tammy wasn't bad enough!  Well instead of clinging to pipsqueak Pidge, true to form Hunk super-sized his quota of half-pint friends and got himself a whole gang of them to buddy up to.

Like usual, the Voltron force went to a planet that we had already conquered and stirred up the locals into rebelling. 

Oh sure, they'll give some sob story that we decimated the planet and killed all their mommies and daddies and stole their space baseball cards, but the truth is that the only reason we even went to that backwater waste of a planet was to get our hands on the yellow lion.  (Which was a certain warty-old-witch-whose-name-I-won't-mention's idea, by the way.)

These stupid kids thought that our state of the art robotic guards would be fooled by them making noises with buckets and sticks so Hunk could sneak into the lion, without taking into account that they have high-tech cybernetic sensors and that Hunk's fat ass is not exactly built for stealth.  (Here's a hint: bright yellow and orange clothes on something the size of an asteroid doesn't blend into the grass.)

So naturally, being the brilliant tactician that I, Cossack the Terrible, am, I caught them and informed Chunk, er, Hunk that if he didn't surrender, I'd give them some Doom discipline with a laser blaster.

Hunk pretended to surrender while the girl brat sneaked into his lion.  I thought something was up with how slow Hunk was moving, but hey, too many stops at the galaxy burger joint can clog the arteries and slow you down, so I bought it.  I should've remembered how fast he moved in on the buffet left out the last time the Voltron force broke into Castle Doom, then I would've known something was up. 

Sure enough, the twerps got the advantage and before the guards could even fire a shot, Hunk and his lion were history.  I was this close to having the yellow lion! 

And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids! 

He's been watching Lotor's old Scooby Doo video files again, hasn't he?

*Ahem* Er well late night TV kind of sucks and, uh, where was I?  Oh yeah, loser kids.

Jamie, Amber, and all of your other little friends whose names are too unimportant for me to remember: you suck, and you're losers, and that's why you've won this not-so-prestigious award.  Now have a cookie and get lost before I give you a spanking, Doom style.

Want to see the past Losers of the Month?  Visit the Loser Archives!

This section was inspired by a friend from the Thundercats fandom and her memorable Loser of the Week feature on her now-defunct website.  If you have any nominees for a future Loser of the Month, by all means send them to me!

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