And the loser of the month for February 2005 is...

Sven!

Since February is the month of Valentine's Day, it seemed only fitting to focus on a half of one of the most sappy couples in the galaxy - Sven and Romelle.  Sven is this month's loser, and Romelle is certainly in the running for an award of her own, but in this commander's opinion Sven is a bigger loser than his girlfriend.

The biggest reason Sven is a loser is because he just won't die.  Here on Doom we really hate it when we set out to kill someone and they don't cooperate.  First Haggar tried to off him with a robeast to take out Voltron since he was flying the blue lion at the time.  Since for some reason Voltron can't just hop on one leg we thought this was a pretty good plan, and it worked until Pinky Puffysleeves took over the blue lion. 

He took up his sword, and even tried some weird zen mumbo jumbo kind of moves...

But he got his ass kicked!

Unfortunately for Haggar and the rest of us however, Sven didn't die.  And he was bleeding and everything.  What a rip off.

As it turned out, even though he didn't die, the Arusians shipped him off to Planet Ebb.  Ebb is a planet of healers which we conquered for two reasons, #1 is that Doom's healthcare system needed a bit of an overhaul and a hospital planet seemed like a good place to start, and #2 was that Yurak was getting his ass handed to him right and left by Voltron, and he figured that conquering a planet of doctors and people in traction wouldn't be too hard and would get King Zarkon off his back.

After Ebb was conquered we were surprised to find Sven among the slaves.  After giving him a warm Doom welcome, we tossed him in the Pit of Skulls, and we thought that was the end of it. 

It wasn't... because he wouldn't die.

Not only did this jerk not die in the Pit of Skulls like he was supposed to, he messed up our nearly perfect death rate average by living down there and then saving Princess Romelle when Lotor tossed her down there for rejecting him.  Sven and Romelle have been inseparable ever since, in more ways than one.

Apparently Polluxian princesses are easier than Arusian ones, and will put out with any guy who comes onto them with a bad foreign accent and a "bad boy crazy man" act.   No wonder Lotor got pissed when she shot him down, if that was all it takes to get her into bed.

These days February's loser lives on Pollux with his girlfriend Romelle, who finally gave him a job there so she wouldn't look like a complete slut keeping him around while her little brother runs the planet.  Rumor has it that he asked for his old job piloting the blue lion back at one point, but they realized it didn't require brains to operate so they left Allura in charge of it since she looks hot in a uniform.  (Easy, Prince Lotor, that's only what I heard!  Honest!  I'm just saying what they said, don't give me that look!) 

So there you have February's Loser of the Month in a nutshell:  Sven, the Loser who Lost the Blue Lion.

Want to see the past Losers of the Month?  Visit the Loser Archives!

This section was inspired by a friend from the Thundercats fandom and her memorable Loser of the Week feature on her now-defunct website.  If you have any nominees for a future Loser of the Month, by all means send them to me!

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