Status Quo
Chapter Twelve: The Testy Troubadour
by Kyence
Disclaimer: All Voltron characters are property of World Events Productions.
‘’ denote character thoughts.
‘If this trip to Arus was non-stop, I would’ve killed myself by now,’ Lance grumbled to himself as he tried to ignore the singing Saoche chirp ancient songs deliberately off-key.
“I want the money, ding-ding ding, dit-dit ding-ding ding-DING, that’s what I want,” she chorused while striking a pose akin to a twentieth century disco dancer. She flapped into the air and freefalled into Lance’s lap as she medlied, “Get a good job with more pay and you’re ooookay!”
Lance pretended not to see her. He tried not to hear her as he stared into the space surrounding his Red Lion. He swore he heard it groan in pain several times during the past week of travel. The last time the team rested while the Lions recharged, he dreamed they formed Voltron and used the Blazing Sword like a baseball bat and hit Saoche out of the Universe. Then the dream somehow ended in a strip joint, but sadly he could not remember any details about that part.
“ ‘Cause we are liii-ving in a Material world, and I am a Material Girl, you know that we are…”
“Lance, can you please ask Saoche to stop,” Pidge’s voice whined in the cockpit. “Or at the very least, shut off your speakers so we can spare our ears.”
“No way, Pidge. If no one was willing to do the rotation I suggested, then everybody gets to suffer,” Lance returned the pleading with his typical cynical tone.
“That’s right, you tell him, Lance! Everybody gets to suff…hey, don’t be mean!” Saoche pouted.
“I think your serenading is lovely, Saoche,” Allura replied with a smile. ‘ She has a crush on him, it’s so sweet! ‘ she thought.
The feathers on the side of Saoche’s face fluffed out as her skin flushed beneath them to indicate embarrassment. “I wasn’t serenading anybody,” she announced as she held her wings akimbo.
“Yeah, she was torturing me,” Lance spat.
Saoche narrowed her gray eyes at him. Her eyes filled with tears as her lower jaw quivered. “If you’re gonna be a dick like that,” she began before turning away from him, “I’ll just sit over in the corner and not say another word.” She leapt to the floor and landed in the corner. Lance watched her, wide-eyed from disbelief. “If there’s a funny smell after a while, just assume I died,” she snarled as she faced the wall.
“Fine, thank you,” Lance sighed with relief evident on his face. He turned his attention towards piloting.
Hunk listened to everything with a broad smile on his face. ‘I have to agree with Allura on this one. That little parakeet is one heck of an admirer!’ His eyes took on a haze as he thought about his own little crush back on Arus. The first time he saw her, he knew she was something special. ‘Okay, so the first time I saw her she was arguing with Nanny…’ he thought happily.
“Mmmm, Ana,” Hunk whispered aloud.
“Did you say something, Hunk?” Keith asked on the intercom.
“Uhhh, nope, Keith,” Hunk shrugged as he dismissed the question.
“It was probably just his stomach grumbling,” Pidge joked. ‘I heard her name. The big guy can’t wait to get back to see Ana!’ His face took on a calm, mature demeanor. ‘It’s about time. He hasn’t felt anything for anyone since Twyla. And Ana seems like a cool girl. Heh, anybody who loves to annoy Nanny is fine by me!’ Pidge pondered with a toothy grin.
Hunk recognized the quip was an attempt to dissuade any conversation about the name he had uttered. ‘Thanks, little buddy,’ Hunk silently praised Pidge. He had not let anybody else know of his feelings for the new servant. Actually, he had not intended for Pidge to find out either, but he bumped into Hunk with a blush on his face as Ana was waving goodbye to go on her shift. Hunk hated the fact that he was so shy, because his large exterior suggested a persona that was imposing and aggressive. As Saoche had remarked to him during a stop, “You are just one big teddy bear.”
‘If that little thing can pick that up from me after only a couple of meetings, does everybody else who knows me well think that? Does Ana think I’m a big teddy bear?’ Hunk seriously wondered.
Keith punched the buttons on the console. “Hey, team, I’m gonna contact Coran and tell him we’ll be there in seven days’ time.”
“Great!” Pidge beamed.
“He must be wondering how we are. I’m surprised we haven’t heard anything from him,” Allura chimed.
Keith was waiting for the connection to finish, but instead of seeing Coran’s aged face on the screen, he received a printed message. “What? Connection timed out?” Keith said aloud in confusion.
“Connection timed out?” Hunk reiterated as his daydream ended. “What the heck does that mean?”
“We can’t connect with the Control Room, that’s what it means,” Pidge advised.
“Maybe Coran spilled something and fried the circuits?” Lance suggested.
“Maybe it’s not Coran who screwed something up, Lance,” Saoche shouted out from the corner.
“Nobody asked you, Polly,” Lance snarled.
“Lance! Don’t be cruel,” Allura admonished him with a shaking finger.
“Yeah, I offered you stereo sound, and you pretty much kicked me into the corner,” Saoche added.
“You volunteered for that, I didn’t kick you…” Lance argued.
“The point is,” Saoche interrupted him, “is that maybe it’s Voltron. Or this area you’re flying in.”
“That’s definitely possible,” Keith concurred.
“Try calling somebody else,” Pidge suggested.
“I’ll try Bandor,” Keith offered. He repeated the procedure, and found that he could not contact Pollux. He sighed from exasperation. “Pidge, you try to contact Pollux.”
“You got it,” Pidge accepted the challenge. However, after several attempts, he was also unsuccessful. “We should find somewhere to stop so Hunk and I can find the problem and fix it. A week without contacting Arus would send Coran into a fit…and I don’t even want to think what Nanny will mutate into,” he worried with a shiver sliding down his spine.
“Good,” Saoche nodded. “I’m not staying in this schmuck’s company any longer than I have to,” she determined as she pointed at Lance’s nose. “Allura, you stood up for me…can I ride with you? Please?” she begged, falling to her nonavian knees and cupping her hands in a praying position.
Allura felt sorry for her. “Of course you can,” she answered. “For the rest of the trip, it’ll be just us girls,” she added with a tiny laugh.
“At least SOMEBODY knows how to treat a lady,” Saoche observed as she glared at Lance. “And since you’re so nice and polite, Allura, I won’t sing the rest of the trip, and it’s ONLY because of you.” She flapped onto Lance’s shoulder and slapped him hard on the cheek with her wing. “Thank your princess, you ungrateful swine.”
“Thank you,” he growled.
“Hah,” Saoche declared triumphantly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over in the corner packing my things,” she joked with snobbish intensity. She flew to the corner, and scratched her talons against the metal wall. The screeching was intense, and the feedback generated from the speaker effectively blew it out. Lance cringed from the auditory attack, sure that his ears were bleeding.
“Oh, would you look at that, your speaker blew,” Saoche observed. “That means you’re the only one who can hear me,” she warned him with a fiendish smile.
“You said that you wouldn’t sing anymore!” Lance shouted.
“I promised Allura that she wouldn’t hear me sing anymore…but since no one else can hear us now…” she cracked her knuckles as Lance began to visibly sweat.
“…you get an exclusive performance.”
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