44. Season One, Episode Forty Four - “Voltron Versus Voltron”

Doom Log File Title:  “Voltron’s Evil Twin” (Cossack’s Note:  Heh, Mogor must’ve been in a funny mood that day.)

Summary:  Zarkon gets word that the people of planet Yadel are rebelling because they think he’s no longer interested in controlling the world, and that they’re declaring an independence day and invited Voltron to come and celebrate.    A surefire way to irritate your  sovereign.  I broke my favorite goblet when I heard the news and had to raise their taxes by 80% to cover the cost.  Now they're free, free from having any  money.  Lotor shows Zarkon a clone of Voltron built from stolen blueprints that they take there to set a trap for Voltron.  While some kid goes off to deliver that invitation, Lotor shows up shortly after he leaves pretending to be the real thing.  The people, except for one other kid, don’t suspect a thing, and when “Voltron” attacks there’s nothing they can do.  Their brains evaporated from the heat; gives new meaning to the phrase "getting the vapors."  Lotor asserts Doom’s rightful authority once more and re-enslaves the rebellious upstarts, and he and Haggar have the fake Voltron buried as a trap for the real one when he shows up.  The kid that smelled the rat draws a SOS and a Doom skull in the sand for them to see as they fly in as a last ditch effort to warn them.  Why do I even commission robot drones for patrolling if they aren't going to be used?  Meanwhile, the real Voltron heads toward Yadel and doesn’t suspect a thing, even when Lotor answers their call asking for permission to land.  Keith does spot the sand message, and when they land, they scan the area and notice the Doom presence and open fire.  That element of surprise is lost, but the Voltron clone does catch them off guard and engages them in battle.  It nearly kicks their ass, as Haggar programmed it to read Voltron’s signals and anticipate his attacks, but eventually they figure out that’s how they’re losing and disengage the arms while holding the blazing sword.  The fake Voltron isn’t programmed to react to that and the lion-arms disarm it quickly. Haggar mentioned something about the "blue screen of death", but I was too busy screaming at her to pay attention. Why couldn't I get stuck with the "runs for five minutes only" Voltron?  At least we'd expect it to be running around missing a head or limb half the time.  Before you know it, they re-attach and destroy our Voltron with the usual BS.

Notable Doom Highlights:  Haggar brags about how she added a “glamorous touch” to our Voltron by adding dark circles under the eyes.  What, no goatee to denote he's the evil one?  Gee, and she wonders why with fashion tips like that, she can’t get a date.  Also, when you watch this footage, you may also notice an entirely too-excited note in her voice when she tells Zarkon that the people of Yadel haven’t felt his “firm hand” in some time.   Easy there. You should hear her try to explain when she "accidentally" has Coba spying on me when I'm in the shower.  Uh-huh.  I think I know who wants to be feeling his firm hand.  That's twice!  Someone's about to lose their cape dry cleaning privileges.  Also, if you take a look at our version of Voltron, in the place where the Arus crest is on the original he’s wearing the same skull crest that Lotor wears on his belt. They "coordinate."

Notes:  Some may notice that Yadel looks almost exactly like Nemone, both from a distance in space and on the surface, and even in the cultural clothing of its people. They are currently suing each other for plagiarism. Officially, both Nemone and Yadel belong to Doom’s empire, but that doesn’t stop the Voltron force from invading anyway.  We administered some "peacekeeping" when Voltron left.  This whole incident was yet another case of “it’s only evil when you guys do it.”  Terrorism is for people too cheap to buy matching uniforms and too lazy to follow military orders. 

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