40. Season One, Episode Forty - “The Little Prince”  

Doom Log File Title:  “The Omega Comet Incident – Logfile #2”

Summary:  With the comet off course, Lotor leads a strike force onto Arus to destroy it himself and forces Romelle to watch.  Apparently while all this was going down, some higher-ups at Galaxy Garrison had a shit fit about Coran ordering their power base unguarded to save Arus without their permission, and order him to have Bandor sent back.  He gets defensive about how he did the right thing, and says getting in touch with Bandor is a no-go anyway because the comet disrupts communications.  Bandor meanwhile decides against the suggestion of his men to pursue the Omega Comet, and they try to blast Voltron awake and get a life reading on the Voltron Force members.  When they get nothing, (Cossack’s Note:  Aw man, talk about getting our hopes up!) Bandor decides that even if Voltron's pilots are gone he’ll bring back Voltron himself by any means necessary and tries to pull the robot off the comet.  In the middle of that, Lotor shows up and blasts all of Shorty's ships except his into space dust because Prince Brilliance insists that they keep tugging on Voltron rather than return fire, insisting that they need to keep using their grip beams to pull up Voltron.  It turns out that Coran is channeling some of Voltron’s power through the beam.  (Cossack’s Note: I thought Voltron had no power at that point?  Boy this log is confusing.  I think Mogor must’ve been drunk or really tired when he wrote it up.)  Again, that pesky thing called physics.  A “black hole” can swallow light into an inescapable vortex of oblivion…and Toga-Boy can toss a lasso around Voltron and actually cause some movement?  Lies.  LIES! GA propaganda, what’s next? Dolphins that can deflect missiles?  Deer that jump into robeast cockpits?   Before they can pull Voltron free, Lotor’s forces cut the cord and send each end hurtling off in opposite directions into space while Lotor himself deploys a robeast on Arus.  Bandor and what’s left of his crew fly home while the robeast opens up a can of whoop-ass on Arus and the Castle of Lions.  On the Omega Comet, a goddess speaks to the Voltron Force and offers them a choice—follow her into eternal happiness and let Arus perish, or let her return them to the battle to fight Lotor.  Of course they make the goody-goody choice rather than take the one-way ticket to paradise, and the goddess heals them with the power of a thousand suns, trashes the Omega Comet once and for all, and the Voltron Force is off to save the day again.  (Cossack’s Note:  And I thought Alfor was bad!)  There it is, Cosmic proof that the Universe is picking on me.  No wonder the goddess doesn’t show her face: probably as ugly as Hagar after a mud bath.

To make matters worse, about this time Prince Shorty makes his big return and shows up on Arus to shoot Lotor down just as he’s gloating to Romelle about how he won.  (Cossack’s Note:  That’s a great way to get on the royal shit list permanently, FYI.)  The tables turn when Lotor threatens Romelle at sword point and instead orders Bandor to surrender to him, and Arus to surrender before the robeast destroys the Castle of Lions and everyone in it.  Both agree to surrender when… yup… you guessed it… Voltron shows up, BS blazing, and kills the robeast.  We were SO close!  Even when using a black hole, my forces still fail.  At least we can get our findings published in a scientific journal.  “Doom’s Driving Rules for Black Hole Comets.”  Lotor bails, still holding Romelle as his prisoner.  Voltron did not pursue to save her though, because he was needed on Arus.  Once they get back to Doom, Lotor decides he's fed up with Romelle and her constant whining and offers her the ultimatum of marrying him or going to the Pit of Skulls.  Guess which she picks?

Notable Doom Highlights:  We here on Doom enjoyed the footage of Bandor’s completely inept command and everyone under him calling him an idiot, not to mention Lotor informing him in another clip that he’s boring.  Hey GA, this is why we don’t let preteens in the fleet over here on Doom. This is why fetuses shouldn’t command starships.  But I’m only a kind who’s conquered dozens of worlds, what do I know?   You also find out the real reason Lotor hired Mogor to be his fleet commander—because he always agrees with him.

Notes:  Is it just me, or does the chain of command in Galaxy Garrison seem pretty wimpy?  Here on Doom, higher-ups don’t ask lower-ups, especially those who are just planetary officials and not officers, if they’d mind returning their forces to them—they give the order themselves, and have the idiot who gave the bad order flogged.  And speaking of the GA, isn’t it funny how we find out after they’re blown up that all the ships in Bandor’s fleet except for his are supposedly staffed by robots?  Right, because the GA hasn’t lost any living soldiers to our guys; that might make them look bad.

Another thing, about getting power through the grip beams:  #1- If getting power through your grip beams means that you can’t get hit and creates some kind of magical shield, how come nobody told the first half of the fleet that got blown up, grip beams and all, about that?  #2- How was Coran sending them any power from the castle when A) they’re under attack from Lotor and B) they had no friggin’ radio contact with them?  Hmm, I smell bullshit from Coran's direction, but I guess Galaxy Garrison just isn't smart enough to pick up on that.  Oh, and how come Bandor was the only one on the ship who knew about the power of the grip beams, and not one GA officer on any of the ships was clued into it?  Not even the techie monitoring the power flow?  This was so confusing to me that I asked Haggar to explain it, but she only shook her head and walked away muttering to herself, kind of like she does when I ask how dead guys can keep defeating us.

By the way, this was yet another incident in which Arus surrendered and then said, “just kidding.”  How many times has that happened now? I knew the downhill slope was getting exponential, like a lazon-powered rocket sled en route to Hell.

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