34. Season One, Episode Thirty Four - “Lotor Traps Pidge”
Doom Log File Title: “Operation Mega-Bomb”
Summary: Prince Lotor sends a hurricane force storm to rage on planet Arus while he and Haggar build a mega bomb there. Meanwhile Princess Allura decides to bring her people into the castle for shelter, where her people are panicking. Pidge runs into a boy he thinks is stealing someone’s pet rabbit to eat it and gets into a fight with him. After the boy says he got it from a trap, Pidge says traps are illegal, and that there are none because of that, because you know, no goody-goodies ever break laws or anything. They just infiltrate my sovereign lands. Interplanetary insults are fine, but killing bunnies…oh no, can’t have that, the consequences are irreversible! But, if this is from the same minds that came up with AEAS=At Ease, then I shouldn’t be surprised. So after he decks the kid and accuses him of lying, the other kid smacks him upside the head with the rabbit and takes off. Pidge pursues and then gets snared in a “nonexistent” illegal trap. D’oh! The boy, a kid named Tommy, turns around and frees him from it even though he doesn’t deserve it, Pidge apologizes to him, and they run off to his shelter where his sick mother is. Meanwhile, Lotor is working on his mega bomb which will detonate at the Castle of Lions and take out the whole planet along with it. It’s amazing how poor Lotor’s listening comprehension skills are. I tell him that I don’t want to destroy the planet, because we can use the people as slaves and use the crops and resources to fill our stomachs and coffers. What does he do? Design a big bomb to blow up the whole planet. Wow, there are no words, just the feeling of disbelief. Zarkon and Haggar call him up and advise him to not bother trying to save the princess and just blow the damn castle up, but he decides to do it anyway, which ultimately causes his plan to be what goes kablooie. See, I’m even willing to patronize my deaf son, and he STILL can’t follow through! I should freeze his sperm and castrate him. At least he’d be a soprano for the Doom choir. He stumbles on Pidge and Tommy, captures them, and ties them both to the bomb. Lotor and his forces take their drilling Spirocharger to the Castle of Lions to get the princess while the others realize that Pidge is underground. Lance frees him with the red lion so they can form Voltron in time to take on Lotor. The lions make short work of his tanks, so Lotor turns his Spirocharger into a robeast. Bet you can guess what happens next—Voltron gets formed, the BS serves up the Spirocharger robeast like a spiral sliced ham, and Voltron hurls the mega bomb out into deep space while Captain Keith hurls some smarm that hurts more than the explosion. I will give my son some credit…he gives Pidge and the uglier (you didn’t think it was possible, but there it is, actual proof) child (I do not say boy because I am still not convinced Pidge is male) until 10 before he will shoot at them. So, he essentially goes, “1…2…ah, the Hell with it, let’s have some fun…ZAP!”
Notable Doom Highlights: Watching Pidge get beaned with a bunny is prime comedy. You also get your hopes up that Pidge might get blown sky high, but no such luck. Lotor has a fun little fantasy about how things will play out if his plan works. First he imagines blowing up each of the lions in turn except for the blue one, and then imagines the Castle of Lions going down in flames, and Arus left in ashes, while he rides away in a carriage with his new bride Pinky, not wearing pink, but a wedding veil, on planet Doom. Lotor’s got some great fantasies, but if it was me, I’d have at least put her in a bikini or a skimpy little skirt.
Notes: During this incident you get to see GA footage of Pidge acting like a huge jackass for a short little squirt that’s supposed to be fair and just and all that GA-approved sanctimonious crap, and that apparently hunting and trapping is illegal on Arus. That means unless everyone on the planet is a vegetarian or you have access to a farm, I guess you don’t eat meat. Funny, I never saw any farms around the castle, ‘cause you know, we here on Doom blow that stuff up on the landscape since taking out the food supply is a great start to bringing the people to their knees. So if you’re a refugee on the run, better stick to your peas and carrots, because PETA-Pidge is on patrol! Oh, and make sure you don’t steal the carrots from someone else’s rabbit, or puny pilot boy will attempt to kick your ass. The good news? He’ll probably suck at it. I find it amusing that the tree-hugging hippie vegan pilots the Lion that ritually destroys a forest every time it flies out of its lair. One day the squirrels will rise up against the Arusian royal family…and we here on Planet Doom will be happy to help. It’s easy to gain allies when all they want is nuts.
Point to ponder: You may be wondering why our robots set traps for animals? No, our robots did not have a hankering for a pork chop, but Lotor insisted that they bring home the bacon and they took it to heart. Or hydraulic pump, if you prefer.
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