22. Season One, Episode Twenty Two - “The Deadly Flowers”

Doom Log File Title:  “Blooms of Doom” (Cossack’s Note: Ooh, Mogor made a rhyme!)

Summary:  This time Doom takes the biological warfare approach, and rains seeds of poisonous flowers down on planet Arus.  Anyone who sniffs the fatal flowers becomes gravely ill, and the only cure is on planet Lyra, made from its magical rose.  Of course, Princess Dimwit takes a big ol’ whiff of the bad blooms and winds up nearly biting it, so the Voltron force takes action.  Too bad she didn’t pass out before singing to those disease-ridden rodents.  Spinning around like a Disney princess.  The scene was so saccharine my pointy canines nearly rotted.  A Doom dentist is the third most terrifying person in the galaxy; even I avoid him when I can.  So, thanks for the root canal without anesthetic, Allura!  Now you know why I approved the extreme Omega Comet plan.  The thing is, Lyra has some weird magnetic fields that screw with the lions’ navigational abilities so only the blue lion can go there since it functions well in water, where the magnetic properties aren’t as strong.  I asked Haggar to explain that bit of science to me, especially since our ships were metal and just fine on Lyra, but she just said to not strain my brain and I figure she’s old and wise and all that so I did.

Anyway, the red lion pilot Lance heads off to Lyra to snag the roses and promptly gets captured by the locals, who work for us, since we have a trade deal with Lyra for the flowers being that Zarkon uses them in his vitality potions.  Lotor has it out in a sword fight with Lance, kicks his ass, and sends him off a cliff where “nobody has ever survived a fall from” before.  Well leave it to the Voltron force to be pioneers, because we have no such luck.  He not only lives, he manages to get a whole bunch of seeds (since Lotor later orders all the flowers destroyed when the Lyra ruler tries to extort money from him for them) to take to Arus to save the day.

Notable Doom Highlights:  The sword fight between Lotor and Lance was great.  The only way it would have been better would have been if Lotor skewered him prior to tossing him off the cliff, but maybe next time.  Watching the prince “bargain” with the ruler of Lyra was also educational for anyone who gets the idea of getting greedy with a Doom force leader.  The GA cut the footage, but Lotor sliced him more ways than Voltron’s BS does the average robeast for that one.  Last but not least, Lotor gets a rather dubious father’s day gift for Zarkon.  After taking a few of Lyra’s flowers and his gold back, he destroys the rest.  Zarkon isn’t too concerned about what happens when they ultimately run out, but Lotor seems convinced he pulled a fast one over on dear ol’ dad and seems pretty pleased with himself.  I guess he didn’t realize the Lyrans had a bunch of seeds… Heh heh, guess who flunked space botany in the Academy and tried to flush his report card down the toilet before Dear Old Dad found out.  Poor dolt, I have spies throughout the Academy that already informed me my son knew not the difference between a space plant and Robert Plant.  His ass had an imprint of my boot for a week…and his hair stunk like toilet water.

Notes:  Princess Allura gives Lance a kiss after all this goes down, thanking him for saving the day.  Lotor was not happy about that, and muttered for days about how it wasn’t fair that the Voltron force had rubber coated suits that let them bounce harmlessly away from near fatal falls. I should change the arsenal of my robot warriors so that they carry giant mallets-that way we can broadcast Human Pinball and take bets.  Never overlook a bookie gig to refill the ole Treasury. 

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