13. Season One, Episode Thirteen - “The Witch Gets A Face Lift”

Doom Log File Title: “The Old Witch Loses To A Painting” (Cossack’s Note:  This was pretty snappy for one of Yurak’s titles.  I guess he really liked seeing Haggar get humbled.)

Summary:  Tired of sending unpredictable robeasts and stupid slaves to do her dirty work for her, Haggar kidnaps Allura’s aunt Queen Orla (what exactly she’s a queen of on Arus we don’t know if she ranks below Princess Allura on the planetary scale) en route to visit her in the Castle of Lions.  She then transforms herself into a clone of Orla so she can infiltrate the castle herself.  She gains Allura’s trust easily but unfortunately the space mice (and the presence of Coba sniffing around the castle) give her away and soon she’s the only one that trusts her.  Still Haggar manages to keep her fooled until Keith threatens to poison Coba with punch she had already poisoned, and then she opens a can of witchy whoop-ass on them for threatening her pet.  Unfortunately then King Alfor’s ugly head rears and he starts spewing spectral smarm from a nearby portrait, zaps her with laser beams from the eyes, and nullifies her magic.  This allows the Voltron Force to get the upper hand, and poor Haggar has to run for the hills in a mad dash escape with Coba.  But that’s not good enough for the Voltron Force, who then pursue in the lions as she hightails it to her coffin on foot.  She in turn lets loose a robeast, Voltron is formed, and you can pretty much guess how it goes from there.

Notable Doom Highlights:  Here you get a great look at the scope of Haggar’s powers and learn that she’s just not someone you screw with.  Except me. Though you got a taste of it when she took down Sven, seeing her in action here is great.  Finding out how good she is with disguises really makes you want to look twice at the nice-looking girl you take home from the bar, because as twisted as she is I’m sure she’s done it at least once.  There’s a special psychiatric ward in the royal hospital reserved for the hapless fools that catch her eye.  Then her magic in hand-to-hand brings everyone to their knees in short order, and she almost offs that annoying Nanny as a bonus.  It’s a real shame she didn’t have a portable stash of Exorcist-In-A-Can under her robe, otherwise things might’ve turned out differently.  She lost to a painting of a corpse.  If I actually said that sentence out loud to a Drule official, their head would explode from the cognitive overload required by their brain to process it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to give Viceroy Throk and Hazar a call…

Notes:  So now the good guys not only go back on their word, invade planets that aren’t theirs, but also poison the kitty cats of and shoot at little old ladies in the back when they’re running away?  Yeah guys, you’re real bastions of righteousness over there. 

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