And the loser of the month for August 2007 is...

Count Zeta!

Count Zeta wins the Loser of the Month's third-year anniversary award for a combination of poor planetary management and sleaziness above and beyond the call of Doomite (and by our standards, that's saying something).

Through plenty of smooth talking, wheeling and dealing, and ass-kissing, Count Zeta managed to get put in charge of the empire's pleasure planet Tyrus.

Tyrus is where anyone who's anyone on Doom likes to go to kick back and party.  It's got the best hotels, casinos, spas, brothels, you name it and unlike Merla's crappy planet isn't filled with a bunch of man-hating lesbians that shoot males on site and have bra-burning parties in their 250-story shoe-and-handbag tower complex.

Prince Lotor chose a vacation on Tyrus for his birthday.  Now anyone with half a brain knows you don't hit our dear prince where it hurts, like in the ego or below the belt.  Well instead of getting a peaceful massage from the lovely ladies of the hotel, he got interrupted with annoying kiss-ass chit chat from Zeta (who, if you ask me, leered at him a little too much that way while he was naked on the table) and even worse, Zeta put through calls from his dad while he was trying to relax.  I know Zarkon's the king and all, but really, there are ways to fake things like interference when you're halfway across the star system.  (Although if you're reading this sire, that's purely theoretical!  I, the loyal Cossack the Terrible, would never do that to you!  Just for the record!)

Then when he couldn't get quality time alone with Lotor for dinner after Haggar was invited along, he complained about pets at the table being improper.  You can imagine how that flew.

So in a vain attempt to re-glue his lips to Lotor's butt cheeks, he had the Voltron force captured and tied up at the stake while the birthday cake was being served.  Unfortunately, he was so preoccupied with getting back in the royal good graces that he not only overlooked security to the point that the Voltron Force was able to escape, but he messed up the order for Lotor's birthday cake as well!

Sorry Zeta, but your new law banning the sale of angel food cake on Tyrus isn't going to get Prince Lotor to lower your taxes back below 90% or save you from winning this loser award!

Want to see the past Losers of the Month?  Visit the Loser Archives!

This section was inspired by a friend from the Thundercats fandom and her memorable Loser of the Week feature on her now-defunct website.  If you have any nominees for a future Loser of the Month, by all means send them to me!

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