The Unofficial X-Files Drinking Game!

This is a copy of the drinking game in The Unofficial X-Files Companion II. The usual rules apply, it works by popping in a tape with a bunch of episodes, positioning your beer or junk food nearby, and following the instructions when specific events occur!

Take one sip or piece of junk food if any of the following occur:

Anyone says "I don't know!"
Scully rolls her eyes.
Mulder provides a theory that stuns his partner.
A language other than English, or subtitles, is used.
Scully or Mulder says "it's me".
Mulder is called anything other than "Mulder".
Cancer Man squints out through a haze of smoke from his own cigarette.
Mulder loses his gun or cellular phone.
Our favorite agents use their super-duper flashlights.
Any character sees/eats/mentions sunflower seeds.
Scully performs a postmortem examination on a human cadaver.
Mulder, Scully, or any of their colleagues messes up the science.
A character known only by a descriptive name (i.e. Cancer Man, Well Manicured Man, etc.) turns up during an investigation.
There's a close-up of Scully's feet.
An alternative-music tune plays in the background.
Mulder and/or Scully runs afoul of local law enforcement officers.
Scully or Mulder sticks something into a specimen bottle.
You find yourself reaching for a dictionary after watching The X-Files.
Any character investigates anything alone.

If you hear/see any of these, take two sips or a small handful of junk food.

Scully explains the bleeding obvious.
A string of numbers that looks like it ought to mean something.
Uniformed men, carrying guns and ready to chase down our heroes, appear at the order of a mysterious man.
Scully and/or Mulder rents a car from Lariat Rent-A-Car.
Mulder alludes to his pornography collection or interest.
Someone sticks a masking tape X in a window.
"Abduction" and "Samantha" are mentioned in the same speech by any regularly appearing character.
Scully performs a postmortem examination on anything other than an obviously human cadaver.
A helicopter makes an appearance.
Anyone is attacked in a bathroom.
Scully and Mulder get DNA/PCR testing results back in less than 24 hours.
One character calls another an SOB.
A dead character appears under "unusual" circumstances.
Any "aliens" appear.
We're treated to pictures of something seen through a microscope.
Mrs. Mulder sniffles.
Scully or Mulder wears glasses.
Camera pulls a close-up on a clock.
Anyone alludes to the "Roswell incident".
Mulder appears to forget he has a psychology degree, or Scully forgets her own undergraduate degree in physics.
Someone quotes from the bible.

These rare occurences rate a big gulp or handful of junk food:

Scully agrees with Mulder.
Mulder addresses Scully as anything other than "Scully".
Scully and Mulder find themselves in a dark room with anything other than their super-duper flashlights.
The credits include a phrase other than "THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE".
Mulder or Scully encounters a former lover.
Any of the regulars appear without all their street clothes.
One of the Mulders or Scullys is murdered.
Any character is hypnotized.
Something blows up.
Someone under investigation turns out to have a bipolar condition.
Mulder and Scully receive unconditional support for their investigations from local law enforcement personnel.
Dead animals make an appearance.

If any of these happen to come up, turn off the TV or tape and go out for a real evening because it's all over anyway:

The one and only, uncloned, Samantha Mulder is found.
Mulder presents Congress with irrefutable proof of the existence of Extraterrestrial Biological Entities.
Scully and Mulder end up in bed together.

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