The More, The Merrier!
Those lustful Lunatacs aren't satisfied with just the usual one-on-one pairings!
Despite what they've said in their other articles, don't let the Lunatacs fool you into thinking they distrust, dislike, or aren't otherwise attracted to each other. This special report, brought to you by one of the Inquirer's most dedicated agents, is here to show you, our loyal reading audience, the truth!
The first of these series of exclusive shots shows the Lunatac
leader Luna with her riding crop in hand, overseeing a
ménage-a-trois involving her, her brute bodyguard Amok, and her balding
boy-toy Alluro, shortly after he began showing her the better-than-Viagra
effects of his Multi Octane High Potential Maximum Velocity Fuel Formula, a.k.a.
"Booster Juice."
In a later encounter involving the Lunatac leader, the same one in which
she slept with Lion-O, Luna also brought her bodyguard Amok in on the action
after he snapped out of the Snickers Coma he fell into while the reporter took
the first few pictures. Fortunately for us at the Inquirer and
you readers, I was able to obtain this exclusive shot from a different vantage
point.
However, Luna and Amok are hardly the only Lunatacs involved in threesomes! The shot below, taken from some of Skytomb's security tapes, shows Alluro and RedEye both getting rather comfortable with Chilla. We believe this happened during the time she was performing for Vultureman via videophone, but that is only speculation, as those images were not among the tapes confiscated on CONTROL's raid of Castle Plundarr.
The three of them wound up in Chilla's bedroom, and although that camera
was turned off, enough suspicious noises came from the room to make it a
rather easy guess as to what was going on in there.
Not long after that threesome took place, Chilla and TugMug cornered Vultureman in DarkSide after he was caught lurking outside Chilla's bedroom window. TugMug declared that he was going to "teach bird-boy a lesson on spying" and Chilla told him that for a change, that time she was going to watch. Reportedly she also stole the cash from his wallet before he left, too.
Of all the Lunatacs, Chilla has made her way around Skytomb the most. She even spent two different nights with Luna and Amok. In the first, she was clearly Amok's plaything...
while in the second he was merely the jungle gym for her and Luna to play on as they had their fun with one another.
That's not to say that the Lunatac men haven't gotten around with one another. In the candid shot below we see Alluro, TugMug, and RedEye all reaching for one another while someone they did not expect pops out from behind a curtain above. Why there's a curtain outdoors we can only wonder, but that's the lesser of the two mysteries posed by this picture, the primary one being why the three of them are so interested in one another?
Educated experts can only guess at what goes on in the Lunatacs' twisted minds, but an anonymous Lunatac source sums it up this way. "First of all, RedEye has no teeth. Think about how any man would put that to use, and you know why he's there. Secondly, TugMug is spring loaded. Stimulation, anyone? Thirdly, Alluro is Skytomb's bitch. That should be painfully obvious to you people by now."
The Lunatacs don't stop at threesomes, however. In this wild late
night orgy, the numbers climbed up to four, with all three of the Lunatac men
taking Chilla in a rough and ready manner!
When they aren't fighting, having wild sex, or plotting against each other, these four show the occasional tender moment. This shot from their incarceration on Way Out Back shows the four of them all cuddled up together after an intense evening of prison lust.
Below is a distant photograph of yet another alleged Lunatac foursome. Although only three Lunatacs are clearly shown-TugMug and Alluro each pouncing on the excited Amok in a frenzied sort of lust- we can assume that Luna is somewhere underneath. After all, how often do we see Luna without Amok?
Those who argue that Lunatacs are antisocial clearly haven't spent enough
time around them. Would an antisocial group get involved in something
like this wet'n'wild water orgy below?
This is perhaps the most shameless display of Lunatac lust evidenced yet. It was taken after Captain Cracker sprung the group of them from their jail on Way Out Back. Chilla was so happy she literally wrapped herself around RedEye (rumor has it that she was already bored with Cracker), while Alluro took the rare chance to dominate TugMug at the same time as Amok teased him with his tail beneath the water. TugMug was too busy to argue, for he was already playing insert-piston-A-into-slot-B on Captain Cracker, who kept himself amused by groping his mechanical bird. As for Luna, we don't know exactly what she was doing, but given the sadistic smile on her face, it was probably suitably twisted and depraved.
Unfortunately we do not have any direct commentary from the Lunatacs, as none of our agents were brave enough to risk life and limb incurring their wrath by owning up to having a hand in the publication of this article. Cracker, however, was interviewed and his comment on the situation and the Lunatacs in general was, "Heek! And here I been thinkin' Snarfer was da pussy lover!"
A few weeks after the water orgy, they were spotted by helicopter fooling around in the snow on Hook Mountain. Of course this is only an educated guess, but we think Chilla suggested this one.
Note that this shot was taken before the actual orgy began. The setup itself struck our photographer as suspicious, but the later shots detailing the rampant depravity and lustiness shown by these Lunar Plundarrians did not turn out due to an unexpected snow squall that damaged the film. Still, one can clearly see Alluro has already made contact with Luna when this was taken.
We at the Third Earth Inquirer are convinced that these are only a handful of a multitude of sexual sins perpetuated by the Lunatacs with one another. Should we get any further evidence, rest assured that this reporter will do a thorough and complete follow-up.