Lord Lion-O isn't what we would call lucky in love. It all started with Cheetara,
his first real relationship. Way back on the ship en route to Third Earth, before Lion-O's warp-aging
incident with the malfunctioning suspension capsule, the naive teenaged
Lord-to-Be was attracted to the exhibitionistic, older, more experienced female Thundercat,
as evidenced in this photo courtesy of the Secret Agent:
As we already know from our spot on Cheetara, that crush eventually
developed into a hot romance.
Agent Grantos found even more steamy evidence of their relationship, removing any doubt at all if the two were romantically involved.
Rumor had it that one of their favorite activities together aside from the obvious was skinny dipping.
But as we know that romance was ill-fated, and despite Lion-O's desperate
measures to keep the fickle cheetah pleased, even going as far as to order
"enhancement" gear off of Third Earth Infomercials, it was doomed to fail.
Lion-O then took up with Willa.
But as we already know, that worked out for only about five minutes before Willa moved on. The two failed relationships were too much for him to bear, especially after the added insult of both of them bedding some of his worst enemies and best friends behind his back.
That day Lord Lion-O vowed that he would never be hurt or love again, at least not romantically. Instead he would take what he felt was his sovereign right- carnal knowledge of each and every one of his subjects and everyone else on Third Earth. According to the bitter young lion, "a lot of sex can't cure a broken heart, but it sure can make me smile."
Indeed, it would seem many ladies, young and old, are smiling these days.
WilyKit was the next in line for the lusty Lord's insatiable appetites.
The Secret Agent got these exclusive shots of Lion-O and his young new
girlfriend together:
And then, as if that wasn't enough, the lusty lion was later caught involved in a threesome with both WilyKit and WilyKat!
Disgustingly enough, the Secret Agent also found out that WilyKit wasn't
the youngest he'd sought for his perversions. Here we see him offering
the proverbial candy to a little girl:
Next on his list was a past encounter, one he never got to know the way he wanted back when they first met. He spent some time researching to release lovely lady Tashi from her Time Warp Prison. Apparently the two had quite a hot fling, and according to one source in Cat's Lair who wishes to remain anonymous they let everyone know it.
"By Jaga, yes, those two had some crazy nights. I swear, if I have to
hear them singing, 'Let's do the time warp again' I think I'm going to ram
Panthro's 'chucks right down both their throats."
It seemed for a time like things with Tashi might have changed him, but unfortunately that was not in the cards. Their lusty attraction soon ended. After their breakup Lady Tashi was quoted as saying, "Young lovers are nice, but sometimes a girl wants someone more experience, more worldly. Someone who can last more than five minutes."
Terribly hurt by her comments, Lion-O took the biting words and turned them
into something constructive. He sought out the wisest and oldest lady on
Third Earth, Mumm-Rana, and asked her to show him how to please a woman.
Being the kind soul she is, and also wanting some hot-blooded Thundercat lovin',
she readily agreed.
After Mumm-Rana was finished with him, Lion-O was an animal.
He even came onto strict by-the-book Officer Mandora when she tried to
subpoena him as a witness for a local trial.
and had a little fun with him when she had duty patrolling Third Earth. Of course we couldn't get any pictures of that because Mandora confiscated our reporter's camera for "official use" and exposed the film to the high beams on her bike.
Shortly after propositioning Officer Mandora, the Secret Agent obtained this photo below, showing Lion-O with Princess Nayda of the Tree Top Kingdom. He informed the Inquirer that the pair was attempting to explain to the others what happened when an irritated Panthro pulled them out of the back of the Thundertank.
Panthro, Panthro, Panthro, surely you know if the Thundertank's a rockin', don't come a knockin'?
His next conquest was not on Third Earth, but a lady native to the New Thundera, the sorceress Jaguara.
On a routine scouting mission, Lord Lion-O paid a visit to the Great Beneath and seduced the lonely jaguar. Sources say he used such lady-killing lines as, "If you think the gyroscope regulator is a fun stick to play with, wait until you try this one!"
Poor Jaguara must have been mighty lonely for all her years up there to fall for a pass like that, in the opinion of this reporter. Not surprisingly, the morning after she had a similar reaction when she realized how naively and inappropriately she had acted.
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