Cheetara's Cheatin' Heart
Third Earth has been shocked by recent developments in the love life of the Thundercat Cheetara! We have concrete evidence of a relationship between her and Lord Lion-O. Notice the loving look in their eyes, caught by our staff photographers in these stolen moments of affection!
Not that everything is all sweet and innocent between these
two, however! Far from it. There's a very passionate side to their
relationship as well. Just look at the look in his eyes in this candid
photo below, as he carries her off to their cozy love nest, his quarters, in
Cat's Lair!
Another agent, Grantos, obtained this rather interesting picture of Cheetara and Lion-O together in the back of the Thundertank. Clearly they were not expecting to be disturbed or realizing that they were being watched, given their lack of lower body clothing. It also explains why Panthro has to replace the Thundertank's shocks so often.
Another staff reporter, Super Secret Photo Gal, found this incriminating shot of the two of them together. Her report reads as follows:
"Taken the first of May, I was walking through one of the meadows outside cat's lair one night, in hopes to get close enough to the lair to get a really kinky pic of Panthro and Pumyra, you know they are doin' the nasty.... Ill have a pic of those two very soon...BWAHAHA! Anyway, as I was walking I heard a purring and meowish sound from the bushes...almost a moan... THIS was my chance, I snuck up a tree and looked down upon the two... Lion-O and Cheetara, she was giving him some "Special Endurance Training"... anyway, I silently took the picture and was forced to wait till they were done and gone to get out of the tree. I was forced to see all the kinky things they did, I wont give you details, but I WILL say that it involved whipped-cream, Cheetara's Staff, and Even the Sword of Omens Mystical Powers. Can you say...WOW, I think I'm gonna invite Lion-O over to my place sometime..... Well, anyway, the reason I had to wait so long is because after I took the first pic, Lion-O's sharp ears and Cheetara's sixth sense were wary of me... that's also the reason I couldn't take anymore pictures either.... this is Super Secret Photo Gal, signing off."
The Lord of the Thundercats taking the lovely lady Cheetara as a mistress
is enough to raise an eyebrow or two, but that's nothing compared to what else
we at the Third Earth Inquirer have discovered going on in the golden
cheetah's personal life. Perhaps most scandalous of all is one fling
she's been caught having behind closed doors, or shall we say... sarcophagi?
Hard to believe, but there it is, undeniable proof! One of our agents caught her asleep in Mumm-Ra's tomb, worn out after a lusty night of ever-living love. Mumm-Ra's stamina and libido outlasted the tired cheetah, however, as he's still getting quite touchy-feeling with those old fingers!
Our sources say this secret relationship started when Cheetara met a disguised "Pumm-Ra" at a bar and went home with him for the night. Naturally she found out his identity once the disguises and clothes came off, but it was too late. She had already indulged the attraction and it could not be denied!
Naturally, when interviewed (only consenting to one after months of stonewalling "no comment" and legal threats) Cheetara denied knowing that she ever knew Pumm-Ra was Mumm-Ra. Indeed, that is highly suspect given the originality, or lack thereof, of Mumm-Ra's alias. It is our esteemed opinion that dear lady Cheetara had too much to drink and Pumm-Ra/Mumm-Ra was supplying her with the strongest spirits in the house.
Once this scandal broke, Cheetara was quite ashamed of her duplicitous
behavior while Lord Lion-O was quite angry, as evidenced in this photo below..
Later the troubled couple appeared on the Jerry Springer show to air out their problems on live TV.
As a sidenote, Cheetara isn't the only Thundercat to spend that night in
Mumm-Ra's pyramid. Here is some startling photographic evidence of a one-night stand
between Lion-O's loyal nursemaid Snarf and Mumm-Ra's
faithful dog Ma-Mutt while his master Mumm-Ra enjoyed the feisty Cheetara. Has Thundercat loyalty been cast aside in the name
of lust?
Perhaps so. Rumor has it that Mumm-Ra put his willing new cheetah lover up to romping with his pet, while he and Snarf watched and took pictures. This was acquired directly from Mumm-Ra's pyramid, stills from the Ever-Living source of Evil's "private collection".
This picture below is an exclusive shot of the reaction when the guilty
Snarf came home and confessed the awful truth about his and Cheetara's secret!
What Snarf didn't confess, out of fear of alienating his once young charge Lord Lion-O, was that he also had spent a night with Cheetara.
The tale takes a shocking twist after that. Once all the secrets were out, Snarf's young and impressionable nephew Snarfer, a recent graduate of Snarf College, was apparently so impressed with what his Uncle Osbert confided in him about the sexual prowess of Mumm-Ra's devil-dog that he decided to try out the rogue beast for himself:
As well as the lusty lady Cheetara!
The aftermath of these secrets caused quite a rift in the Thundercat relationships, sending both Lion-O and Cheetara to seek comfort in the arms of others. However, Cheetara did not first turn to her lover Mumm-Ra, but to a more respectable pair of arms- Thundercat Lynx-O!
Although this was only a rumor for a time, these recent photos
of the two riding together confirm the suspicion. She is clearly
comfortable being close with the elder lynx, and even more clearly excited
while sitting on his lap later in the ride.
Being with Lynx-O apparently awakened Cheetara's appetite for older men. Not long after she was seen with him, this photo of her in a heated kiss with an elderly tiger man in the back of one of Third Earth's nightclubs was taken:
She didn't stop there. While she had short flings and one night stands, she also sought comfort in the arms for at least one night with her old friend Tygra. In the shots below, one can see him comforting her, buying her expensive jewelry, and in the final shot from the Secret Agent, about to cop a shameless feel in the Thundertank!
Apparently neither Lynx-O, Tygra, nor even her one night stand old tiger were able to keep this cheetah satisfied, though, after her breakups with both Lion-O and Mumm-Ra. Rumor had it that she was disillusioned with the entire male gender, and became involved in a bisexual relationship with fellow Thundercat Pumyra, who was having her own troubles at the time.
An Inquirer reporter, teamed up with the freelance Secret Agent, found these pictures of Cheetara and Pumyra together in a secluded spot one evening. Before they were noticed, they spotted the willing cheetah playing a submissive role, awaiting a series of teasing lashes from Pumyra's sling. Neither Thundercat lady was pleased when they were spotted after getting even closer.
The relationship between Cheetara and Pumyra didn't last long, as with most of her other recent affairs, and the cheetah soon moved on and took up with young WilyKit, recently come of legal age. The following shot was captured on a portable black and white camera by one of the Inquirer's staff reporters.
Cheetara's flings with the local youth were not limited to WilyKit. Attending a frat party, she was found "expanding her horizons" with some rowdy local youngsters. MUM RA 1 found her partaking in a weird mud orgy at said party with none other than Beavis and Butthead!
Perhaps Cheetara's all time low, however, was the night she spent with Slythe, the leader of the Mutants. It was rumored that she was less than sober at the time, and that she found his masculine roughness and versatile tail attractive.
She was later quoted as saying, "I don't know what the hell happened. I don't even remember saying so much as 'yessssss'."
Could there be a date-rape lawsuit in the near future for the leader of the Mutants?
The sad state of her private life finally caught up to Cheetara's much neglected seventh sense, common sense, and she began seeing a respectable man from another dimension- the handsome bachelor Wiz-Ra. Here the interdimensional couple can be seen sharing a close and romantic embrace.
Fluff and flowers couldn't last forever though, and Cheetara's lustier appetites could not be denied for long. Soon the two brought Snarf in on their fun, as evidenced by this candid photo showing Cheetara touching Snarf in a rather inappropriate place!
It would seem that Wiz-Ra has a thing for cheetahs in general. Recently he was seen having some fun with Mumm-Ra's pet cheetah when Cheetara wasn't looking!
What, or who, will Cheetara do next? Be sure to keep reading the latest news in the Third Earth Inquirer to find out!