Alluro's Affairs

The hypnotic Lunatac is not quite as wild as the ice woman he's frequently seen with, as in the picture below, but he has had more than a few interesting adventures of his own. 

Rumor has it that the two Lunatacs have shared a couple of wild nights with one another in Skytomb, but neither will state anything for the record beyond that.  However, this exclusive shot from Skytomb's cameras shows that there is definitely something going on between the two, and by the looks of it, it's rather intense.  Or cold.  Then again, most Lunatacs enjoy playing rough from what we've seen...

When questioned about his relationship with Chilla, Alluro only smiled at the reporter, shrugged, and said the Rolling Stones had a song that summed it up pretty well.  A vague answer indeed, one that could mean anything from "She's So Cold" to "(Can't Get No) Satisfaction".

Judging from this picture, recently taken when the two were out on a walk together, we at the Inquirer are inclined to think it may be the latter.
 

Perhaps that's why Alluro has been seen in rather curious company of late. 

This shocking picture below was taken by a freelance photographer, who followed Alluro and Lion-O out of the Third Earth Tavern late one evening.  The Lunatac had been drinking, not the wisest thing for a "lightweight" like him to do according to his fellow Lunatac TugMug, and when he was vulnerable allowed himself to be seduced and added to Lord Lion-O's long list of lusty conquests. 

As you may recall, Lord Lion-O has not been himself lately.  His breakup with Cheetara and then Willa sent the young Thundercat Lord into a tailspin of sexual depravity that has at one point seemingly involved a good half or more of Third Earth.  Alluro was but only one of Lion-O's one night stands.
 

     

When asked to comment, Alluro became uncharacteristically silent and warned with a raised psych club that it was in our reporter's best interests not to mention that "damned edit the troll sold me out with".  He also insisted it never happened, and it was a frame up, and then quickly changed the subject.

Interestingly enough, Lion-O had a different story.  He confirmed that he did indeed sleep with Alluro, but like the hypnotist he'd had a few too many.  He said that insufferable egomaniacs weren't usually his type, but Alluro bragged so much about how no one could resist him that he became curious and wanted Alluro to "put his money where his mouth was", so to speak.  That, and his voice was nicer than Willa's.

After his night with Lion-O, Alluro found himself seduced next by none other than Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living.

The Ever-Living Source of Evil himself admitted to calling the Lunatac in for some "favors".  He said that he hadn't indulged his attraction to men in a couple of centuries and it was about time one of his underlings was "good for something."  When asked why his eye fell on the hypnotist, Mumm-Ra said it was because he was the only one of his underlings that bathed regularly, wasn't hairy, and had teeth. 

The impropriety of the scandals with Lion-O and Mumm-Ra, as well as the general knowledge that Chilla dumped him for videophone sex with Vultureman and his credit card, and then WilyKat, left Alluro staying far out of the public eye for several weeks.  That was, until his former captor Captain Bragg came by with WilyKat and convinced him to join in on a kinky game involving handcuffs and clown makeup.

Alluro consented mostly out of a desire to "screw Bragg the way he deserved" and for the impulsive thrill of stealing Chilla's new boy toy from her.

However once the handcuffs were on it became clear that Alluro was going to be the one getting screwed in the end.  Especially after one of the Inquirer's staff agents walked in on them and snapped that incriminating photograph.

When asked to comment, Alluro only remarked that "clowning around with Mr. Choo-choo is a dangerous proposition, much like continuing this line of questioning."  The next thing the agent remembered was waking up in a room full of shrieking, hungry snarfs.

That wasn't the final scandal involving the psi, however.  An anonymous Lunatac source told us that he then started sleeping with his boss, Luna.  Apparently Alluro's casual remark to his leader that he was drinking his "booster juice" every morning with breakfast got the tiny Lunar leader so excited that she literally jumped at the chance to try out the fruits of its magical effects.

Although Alluro reportedly found Luna to be "pushy, bitchy, and annoying" in the past, he did admit to the affair, if only because "if I denied it you'd just print it anyway and humiliate me again." 

Naturally, you as an informed reader know that we at the Inquirer pride ourselves on accuracy (and avoiding lawsuits) and we only print the truth!

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