Erich, the Mad Bassist sez:

HI LOSSSSSSER,

Uhh... wouldn't that be pronounced "Loooooooser?" Already, we see a tremendous command of the English language.

DON'T YOU HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THEN DEVOTE YOUR FUCKING LIVE TO USING A DILDO AND WATCHING A LION SWINGING HIS STUPID THING AROUND CALLING PEOPLE HO'S.

First off, there's this key that says "Caps Lock"... perhaps you've heard of it? All caps is considered rude and makes your retarded rantings more difficult to read. "Devote your fucking live"? Obviously, you don't know what the word "life" is-- seeing that you have none. Now, I don't recall seeing a dildo mentioned anywhere on her site (maybe somewhere under "caption the photo"?) or Lion-o calling people "ho's". Unless you mean all of us calling him "Lion-ho", which he clearly is...

YOU SOULD TRY WWF THATS COOL. ALL YOU FUCKING THUNDERCATS FANS WILL BURN IN HELL AND DIE. ALL OVER AGAIN.

Ahem... mind if I correct that? It should read: "You should try WWF, that's cool. All you fucking Thundercats fans will burn in hell and die-- all over again!!!" Now, while that made almost no sense... at least it's easier to read now!

PIECE OF ADVICE QUIT YOUR WINING THAT THEY TOOK OFF THE THUNDERCATS. AGAIN. THERE IS A REASON TO THAT. THEY SUCK.

Hmm... running our sentences together and using periods instead of commas? Not that you'd understand, as my cat is more educated than you... I shall refrain from further commenting on your absolute lack of grammar and spelling. I shall instead attempt to drag some meaning out of your senseless ramblings.

Now, Thundercats suck? Of course! Why do you think we love that show? Where else can you see "breathing in space", plot holes big enough to drive a Thundertank through, and don't even get me started on Snarf. Combine all of that with the kick-ass animation and Mumm-Ra, and you've got one hell of a fun show to watch. Now, by what you said, are we to assume that you're a Superfriends fan? That show doesn't suck? I want to see Snarf rip Gleek's annoying ass apart!!! I thought that show was cool when I was seven, but then I grew up.

LETS SEE HAS WWF BEEN TAKEN OFF NO. THUNDERCATS YES. I THING IT'S ABOUT TIME THEY ARE OFF THE AIR. I WILL GO TO CARTOON NETWORK AND PERSONALLY BURN THE TAPES. BY THE WAY DON'T GIVE ME THIS SHIT ABOUT THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HERE. I TYPED IN THUNDER CATS TO BRING UP THE SNOWMOBILE. AND IT GIVES ME THIS CRAP.

Ahh... another victim of a search engine. Most of us hit the "back button" when we run into dead ends, y'know! WWF taken off the air? Hey... I like watching them! The only complaint I have is that the show is more talk and commercials than wrestling. I think it would be very funny if there was a news item about some little kid attempting to break into the Cartoon Network's vault, frothing at the mouth, screaming about burning the Thundercats. Why don't you take all that energy and go after Captain Planet? Now he sucks!

I HOPE YOU ALL BURN IN HELL WATCHING THE FAGET CATS. ESPALLY TYGRA.

Well, I can't exactly argue that Tygra is straight... although I remember a time when he rescued Cheetara from a giant sticky beehive. Knowing how cats clean themselves, I'm sure he lent her a tongue...

YES I READ THE OTHER VOLTRON LETTER. VOLTRON SUCKS. SO DOES ANY OTHER WINING CRYING CARTOON.

No one likes "whining, crying cartoons" here... Voltron was a good anime show.

WATCH SOMETHING REAL WATCH WWF BYE YOU FAGS. PS. TAKE YOUR PAGES OFF . THERE A EYE SORE.

Did everyone hear that??? WWF is real! I'm sorry, just recovering from a fit of laughing... haven't you seen any of the numerous specials on TV about how wrestling is done without the guys getting themselves injured? It doesn't stop me from enjoying the show though, it actually makes it more fun!

As for Cheezey923's website being an eyesore... she did a great job putting it all together, especially considering how stingy AOL is about server space! Let's all collectively give her a big round of applause for her accomplishments! ~~:-}

And now... the dreaded follow up.

DID I HURT YOU CRY BABY FEELIGS.

No, just provided us with something new to laugh at!

CRY CRY :(

The tears in our eyes are from laughing so hard (excuse me while I grab some oxygen!)

PEICE OF ADVICE FOR YOU.

Learn how to spell and punctuate! Whoops, jumped the gun there... what was your advice again?

TAKE OUT YOUR THUNDERCAT MAGS. AND USE YOUR FUCKING DILDO.

Ohh... right. The dildo thing again. I don't suppose you have too many friends of the opposite sex, given the way you talk to them!

BY THE WAY I'M NOT GAY LIKE YOU.

Personally, I've always been an admirer of the female form. I'm sure Cheezey would say the same about the male form. What you do while you're watching wrestlers in the privacy of your own locked room is none of our business!

THUNDERCATS YOUR A HOOOOOOOOOOO

Such talent mixing pluralisms... wait, I said I wasn't going to analyze your lame writing. I give up.

Well, my friends and compadre`s, this has been a fun example of what I call... (drumroll, please) Zann's Law of Flaming: "The hostility of the writer is inversely proportional to their spelling and grammatical skills." Can you dig it? --Erich Zann... the Mad Bassist

HI LOSSSSSSER, FIRST OF ALL WHAT THE HELL IS MSTed WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO EXPAND ON THAT.  LIKE IN ENGLISH.

And in very small words, no doubt! MST=Mystery Science Theater 3000. Get it? If not, it's an Internet art form that basically means a bunch of us gathering around a campfire to laugh at people like yourself. Why are you so stuck on us? I take it you haven't found your snowmobile yet...

NEXT YOU THUNDERCAT FANS ARE PATHEDICT.  ALL YOU CAN DO IS CORRECT ME ON MY GRAMMAR.  HOO I'M SO SCARED.  NOT.  GEE YOU CAN'T EVEN STAND OF FOR THE PUSSY FAGET CATS.  ALL YOU DO IS MORE COMPLAINING.  OH YOU MISSPELLED A WORD, HO THEY TOOK OF THUNDERCATS AGAIN, HO MY DILDO IS AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE.  GEE CAN YOU EVER QUIT YOU GOD DAM INFERNAL WHINING.

Misspelled a word? I almost need a decoder ring to read your writing!

Now, wait a sec... I have a few friends who don't spell all that well either, but it doesn't matter because they're nice, intelligent people. You, on the other hand, seem to be the only one whining here. Can't you hear the laughter?

As for standing up for the Thundercats show, we all had fun watching them when we were younger (those of us who saw them when they were on the local airwaves.) Now, we appreciate them more for the different styles of animation, backgrounds, and other artistic factors. Finally, we just plain dig 'em! (Actually, I believe most of us are really Mumm-Ra fans... does anyone out there want to discuss something interesting like that?)

IF I HERE ONE MORE COMPLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING I THINK I WILL SHOOT MY SELF.

Ahh, a problem that takes care of itself... we should be so lucky! (Promises, promises...)

DON'T WORRY I FOUND THE SPELL CHECK, SO QUIT YOU WHINING.

Well, obviously it isn't working too well... maybe that's because most spell checkers are made to ignore words with all uppercase letters! While each word in your last sentence was spelled correctly, it was still an English teacher's nightmare! How old are you anyway?

SINCE YOU STUPID THUNDERCAT FANS CAN'T DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT WINE WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER TO HAVE A PAGE.

Because you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. There's a lot more that goes on with us-- fan activities and such. Problem is, you're stuck on us for no good reason other than the fact that we're giving you attention. The Internet is a huge place, go find your own crowd!

I MEAN YOU CAN'T EVEN DEFEND THE PUSSYCATS I AM A HOOOO.  I ADVICE YOU TO TAKE THE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE CRYBABY PAGE OFF.  BY THE WAY FOR THE RECORD I DON'T LOOK AT PORN SO TELL YOUR OTHER WHINING FRIENDS THAT. I HAVE BETTER THINGS LIKE MY GIRLFRIEND.

Well, good for you! I see you got the Luna blow-up doll that we sent you. Why are you still wasting your time entertaining us? There are much more atrocious things on the web like Captain Planet fan pages. Go bother them, because they'll probably whine real good for you. Hmm... maybe this guy is a Captain Planet fan? That would explain a few things...

AND WWF IS REAL YOU CAN TELL WHILYKAT THAT.  OR SHOULD I CALL HIM PUSSYKAT.

Sure, they're real... NOT! So they get injured every now and then... but have you noticed how much they stomp? (Or am I being too subtle for you?) You really don't want to mess with WilyKat... I heard a rumor that he's really a seven foot, four hundred pound biker with lots of friends! You might find a pool cue in a most uncomfortable place...

PS.  I LOVE HOW I WAS SWAMPED WITH LETTERS. HA HA HA I ONLY GOT ONE OTHER LETTER.  HOO I AM SO SCARED.

Well, I'm not going to personally e-mail you because I think it's a waste of time. I'd much rather respond to you in this way so everyone else can get in on the fun!

What's this? Another follow up? Excuse me while I get my decoder ring out again...

WELL IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GIVE UP BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T E-MAIL ME RIGHT AWAY LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

Probably because she gave up on the possibility that you might be human.

TAKE OFF YOU THUNDERCATS PAGE AND TELL ALL THE OTHER THUNDERCAT PAGES TO COME OFF.

Give us one good reason...

BECAUSE STONECOLD SAID SO.

That's a good one! Okay, everyone... let's pack it up! There will be no more Thundercats fan club, and no more websites. Cheezey, make your website about lab testing procedures... Demon, make your website about distribution of magazines and cleaning supplies... WilyKat, make your site about classic Harleys... I'll get a haircut and devote my website to the proper grooming of cats. We'll have lots of fun!

Ha ha ha... had you going there, boy? The Thundercats will never die as long as there are a few of us who appreciate good animation, stories, and even the occasional retard with no social life who is hostile for no good reason. Hold on a sec... how do we know this isn't The Whiddler? If this isn't, we should introduce you to each other. You two would make a cute couple...

Once again my friends, we're treated to another round of retarded ranting... Here, our protagonist attempts to give advice to Cheezey about her site... very good, for someone who just learned how to use a spell check! We see evidence of a person in desperate need of attention (even if it's bad attention!)

OH NO YOU MSTED ME I AM SOOOOOOO SCARED (not) YeS I KnOw HoW tO uSe ThE FuCkInG cApSlOcK kEy.  I JUST LIKE TO ANNOY YOU WITH IT.  THERE I USED LOWER CASE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW.  HERE LET ME TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR PAGE.

*sigh* Here we go again...

NUMBER 1 = It takes way to long to load up.  I thing I might get some Social Security by the time you page loads up.

So what? My home page takes forever to load... but it sure looks and sounds cool! Are you stuck with a slow modem, or are you just impatient? I suspect it's not a problem anymore because you visit her so much that her whole site is cached permanently on your hard drive...

NUMBER 2 = You are using AOL.  The world's most used service.  Think a bit,  try some other company.  Like GeoCities.  Your page might load up quicker.

You know you're dealing with a beginner when they recommend GeoCities... the home of the annoying and browser-crashing JAVA popup!

FYI, she uses Simplenet for her site (I stand corrected on my earlier statement- she uses AOL for mail and basic access.) If she only used AOL, she wouldn't have the space to have fun at your expense! She's hosting movies and other stuff for the fan club's site-- now THAT's cool!

NUMBER 3 = There is no order to your page.  Everything is looks like you just put together in a hurry.  (TAKE YOUR TIME)

Hmm... a home page, a Thundercats page, a hate mail page, and a page dedicated to some idiot who forgot what he was looking for and is still hanging around like an attention-starved puppy... I see plenty of order!

NUMBER 4 = The Color scheme is out of wack.  Try using basic colors.

Green and black aren't basic? Wait, don't tell me... you recommend pink and fuchsia?

NUMBER 5 = TRY a thing called FRAMES.  They are usually nice and organize your page.  It would look less junky.

Frames suck! There are a few people out there who use them well, but they usually complicate things (especially when you scroll with your arrow keys!) TABLES work much better...

NUMBER 6 = (THIS IS MY suggestions)  It should haven't been about THUNDERBRATS.

So, I take it that you didn't write #'s 1-5? For a moment there, I thought I was having an intellectual discussion!

There I actually took my time to give you some good advice.  Try using it.

Now, I'll give you some advice: Make your own website, and we'll see who sucks here! I'll bet no one writes you just to say "I TYPED IN 'THUNDER CATS' AS A PHRASE AND ALL I FOUND WAS THIS SNOWMOBILE CRAP!"

NOT THE WORLDS GREATEST FLAME,  IN FACT IT'S KIND OF NICE.  I'LL TRY HARDER TO BE MEAN NEXT TIME.

Like that's an accomplishment to be proud of... any retard can write a flame! Constructive criticism, on the other hand, is appreciated. You almost do it this time, but your previous rants and "tip #6" reveal your personality.

YOURS ALWAYS,

[INSERT PSYCHO THEME MUSIC HERE]

IHATETHUNDERCATS

Until later... It's been a pleasure (in some unfathomably warped way.)
ILOVECHEETARAANDPUMMYRAANDWILYKITIFSHEWASGROWNUP

I'm not too surprised to say... our little buddy's at it again! Rather than waste more time taking him apart, I shall restrict myself to some select passages. Here's what was new... (he's running out of ideas!)

THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO GET TO YOU.  I HAVE MANY FRIENDS E-MAIL ACCOUNDS.  SUCH AS THIS ONE.  DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO USE MY E-MAIL ACCOUNT SO YOU COULD NAIL ME.  I DON'T THINK SO.  THIS IS ONE OF THE MANY MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS.

So you would let your little brother get nailed? I'm glad you're not part of my family, asswipe!

I AM DEVOTING MY LIFE TO GET RID OF THUNDERCAT WEB PAGES.

ROFLMFAO!!! Devoting your life? That proves you have no life... all of us aspire to higher goals!

AS LONG AS THUNDERCAT PAGES ARE  UP STONECOLD LIVES.

Spoken like a true Thundercats fan.

ANYWAYS IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE FLAMES LIKE MINE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE NO REASON TO UPDATE, NOW WOULD YOU.

Obviously, that shows how little you know about our scene. Know what you're talking about, idiot!

That's all for me! ...Evil Erich

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