Cheeezey sez:
Date: Sat, 15 Aug 1998 16:45:58 -0400
From: Leslie Ullom <lullom@learninglink.org>
To: bigcheeze34@hotmail.com
Subject: God, you suck...
Okay, you just suck. I'm serious here, man. Voltron is a badass cartoon, and more importantly it's anime (look it up), which makes it vastly superior to any American cartoon--aside from the Batman and Superman cartoons. There's no way ANYTHING about Thundercats is cooler than anything--period. They're a bunch of freakish fat ASSES!!! They're monstrous to look at, and they're big fat THINGS!! Thundercats suck ass, especially that dick Tigra. I mean, 'a' is a FEMININE ending!!! I know you can't tell who's male or female on that show by looking at 'em, so the names should kinda clue you in. He should be named TigrO, not TigrA...he has a fucking girl's name. The whole show suck giant ass! YOU DESERVE TO BE ASS-FUCKED BY A BULLDOZER FOR SLANDERING VOLTRON AND LIKING THUNDERCATS!!!!
Cheeezey sez:
Wow, looks like someone forgot to take their medication today! I almost handed over the responsibility of responding to this silly flame to my Queen of Bitching (a.k.a. Luna), but I decided that this had far too much comic potential to pass up. First of all, I must ask... why the hell are you on a Thundercats site whining and bitching about it if you hate the show? It seems to me either you are a) someone with absolutely no life at all, with nothing better to do than surf sites on shows you don't like or b) happened to stumble on the endorsement page after a net search brought it up. That would almost allow me to give you the benefit of the doubt and credit you with at least one brain cell or two... but since you found my hotmail addy, which is only listed on the main and fanfic pages, both of which are clearly part of a large Thundercats site, there goes that theory.
Next, I'd like to know where you got the idea I hated Voltron... if you could read (which is, admittedly, a big assumption given your oh-so-eloquent flame) you would have seen that I have links to good Voltron sites on my links page, a fairly comprehensive knowledge of the show (if I hated it, why the hell would I know enough about it to make fun of it so well), and not to mention a loud and clear disclaimer saying that I like Voltron and that the page was just a parody, made because Cartoon Network took Thundercats off the air!!!
Lastly, you didn't even bring up valid points in your flame... you said Voltron is superior because it is anime. First off, there is an arguement that Thundercats IS anime, because it was produced in Japan. If you look, nearly all the credits but the voice actors (hmm, does that sound like another certain show I could mention?) are Japanese names. The only difference is that it was produced for an American audience. Secondly, Voltron is dubbed, which greatly cuts down on the overall quality of the show, even though the animation is admittedly good, and at times, superior to episodes of Thundercats. Then there's that little dig about Tygra... not only did you spell his name wrong, but you mentioned that he's feminine because of the -a ending on his name. There are many male characters whose name ends in -a. (Simba of the Lion King, for instance) You just have to have an IQ somewhere above 80 to figure that out. (Again, that's probably a stretch where you're concerned.) One last issue, where do you see any evidence of the Thundercats either being fat or being an ambiguous gender (other than young WilyKit not having breasts?). All of them are in good shape physically. The men all have muscles (except for WilyKat) and the women have curvaceous figures and/or wear skirts. And let's face it, with characters like Pidge and Haggar, how can ANY Voltron fan make comments about being unable to tell gender?!?!?!
Now, please, do everyone a favor and either think of something intelligent to say, or don't say it at all. Or just be as stupid as I am convinced you are, and flame me again. I do so love publicly humiliating morons on my webpage. >=)
Cheezey
P.S. Oh, and just so you know... when I read your letter, I forwarded it to a bunch of my smartassed friends. They found it just as funny as I did, and don't be surprised if they write and make fun of you too.
Tygra sez:
Why, you nasty person! What did I ever do to you to make you say such nasty things about me, and not even spell my name right to boot? And I'll have you know, I am manly, and I am not fat! Boy... my self esteem is really suffering. I think I'm going to pay Silky a visit now, and then come over and give you a good whipping.
Jackalman
sez:
Okay, for all those rabid 'Voltron is sacred' fans out there I have just two words: Space Mice. Need I say more?
Lefty
sez:
Hmmm... Sure, Voltron is cool at times... but any show with a hermaphrodite that has an annoying voice (i.e. Pidge) can not talk about anyone. Even the most annoying voices in Thundercats are no match for the obvious male falsettos, and insipid music score. Nuff said.
Then Lefty thought some more, and had this to say:
So what you are saying is that the two sexes can only be marked by either a and o? What would happen to the rest of the world? The poor people who are suddenly damned because they have names ending in letters other than a and o? Will the world become sexless? Will people like Bob and Nancy be forced into the quandary of which restroom to use? Whether to leave the seat up? While guys like Bubba find that they are no longer allowed to pee standing up? What you ask, my friend is not only utter chaos, but the end of humanity... not to mention the confusion presented by people trying to take up the limited number of names beginning with a and o.
And so, if I father a son, he shall be named ZZZZZYndor, and his sister shall be named Winnie. Because you're a mean old guy who likes to screw with the natural order of things.
A quite cheesed off fellow...
Seth C. Triggs
P.S. Where's Darwin when you need him?
Simba sez:
What?!! All characters that are male must have names that end in O? Are you out of your skull? Looks like I'm going to have to come over to your house and have lunch!
Offended,
King Simba, soon to have you over for dinner.
Alfalfa sez:
Hey there, watch who you're saying is effiminate! My name ends in an A, and no one can call me womanly, gosh darnit! And if they do, well then they had just better watch out, or Spanky and Buckwheat will kick their golly gosh darned buttoxes!
WilyKat
sez:
You forgot the most important Thundercat of all - Jaga. Is he a girl or what?
WilyKit
sez:
Hey Leslie, I wouldn't even *talk* about the differentiation between males and females based on names. I mean, Leslie can be a guy's name, and it can also very well be a girl's name too. So the next time you wanna diss us ThunderCats out, remember your own name and can it!
Mumm-Ra
sez:
Okay, loser, this is Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living and All-Powerful writing on behalf of my devoted evil mistress. We just about bust a gut laughing our asses off over your pathetic excuse for a flame. Voltron superior to Thundercats?! NOT!!!! Yeah, those do-gooder cats and their spoiled snarfs can get on a guy's nerves with all their sugary-sweet morals and stuff, but let me tell you, I would sooner jump naked into a pit full of rabid whining snarfs and Thundercats that OD'ed on Jaga's so-called wisdom. Why? Let's take a look at the two:
Thundercats: are a bunch of pussycats.
Voltron: are a bunch of pussies!
Thundercats: has better-looking, better-voiced folks.
Voltron: has crappily drawn extremely annoyingly voiced stick figures--not even that broad Allura looks like a broad! And Keith is about as masculine as Richard Simmons. *shudder* As for voices, well, anybody that can outshriek Luna (NO easy feat!) the way Haggar does deserves to be locked up in a room, chained to a chair and forced to watch every single tape of "Sweatin' To The Oldies" for all eternity!
Thundercats: the only well-known fat-ass on the show is Snarf Egbert. (And he has breasts. Does that make him female all of a sudden, Mr. (or Miss) Sexpert?)
Voltron: Together, Nanny and Hunk have stomachs the size of Hook Mountain. They probably even hang out together comparing sandwich size (heh heh heh).
Thundercats: has better storylines. Sure, there are a few in particular that could be considered borderline psychotic, but hey, it's classic entertainment.
Voltron: has the same 'ol lame-assed plots. Zarkon is bored, bitches at Haggar, Haggar makes robeast, Lotor lusts after Allura and gets the boot every time, Voltron wastes robeast, everybody goes home and gets treated to another lecture by Coran and/or Nanny. Yawn. At least I always give the Thundercats a good run for their money!
Thundercats: has good guys and villains that will KICK YOUR ASS!
Voltron: Zarkon and Lotor are about as threatening as Silly Putty. Hell, they're nothing but mutant Smurf rejects! Zarkon looks like a freakin' fish, with his Dumbo-fin ears, and Lotor's a pansy who always chickens out unless Big Daddy's there to back him up. And while we're on this subject, if Zarkon fathered Lotor, then why the hell isn't Lotor as butt-ugly as Zarkon?! Does ugliness set on in old age at Planet Doom or something? If that's the case then Lotor better invest in a good economy-size supply of Rogaine! As for their weeny robeasts, well, you've seen one you've seen 'em all! Voltron's good guys? They have all the appeal of butt mold. They're zilch in the personality department. Kinda like somebody I know....
I could go on and on, but the ASOE have more flames for me to write for losers like you. So, next time you feel the urge to open your mouth and create more air pollution, do Third Earth a favor instead and seek help for your unnerving preoccupation with asses. Now run along back to your toybox, but don't let your mommy catch you doing those naughty things with your toy bulldozers, or else she might not let you come play online again and visit sites that are CLEARLY marked NO PURITAN ZONES--meaning: Don't like it? DON'T FRIGGIN' READ IT!!!!
Ganging up with the Thundercats to go medieval on *your*
ass,
Mumm-Ra
RobMan sez:
Cheezey sucks? Well, there went my assumption that this flame was intelligent. Voltron is a badass cartoon? Well, you got that one half right.
First off, just because something is anime, does not mean it's superior to American cartoons. I mean things like Akira, Robot Carnival, and Ghost in the Shell pretty much kick ass, especially in the animation department, but that's not true always. I mean, take Speed Racer, the animation is dated, but still good for today's standards. The voice-overs are HIGHLY annoying, as the characters just spit out the words.
Ohmygoditsracerxihopetogodhedoesntmanagetobeatmemydadwillbesopissed.
See what I mean?
Batman and Superman? I guess they're pretty good, if you don't mind watching the same Batman episodes that've been on for 6 years (that's not an exaggeration). The newer ones are okay, except 1.)Batman and Robin have no pupils. 2.) Robin looks like he's about 10 years old. 3.) It eventually just gives you a bad and generally unsafe feeling to watch the police make fools out of themselves.
The ThunderCats are fat? Geez. The only one who could be called anything near fat is Snarf, and he's a Snarf. All the guys are cut, and all the gals are in shape. How else would they be able to fight crime and kick ass all the time? Even Lynx-O, who's about 45-55, can still kick ass and mix it up, and probably whip Batman and Zarcon at the same time.
I won't bother saying you spelled Tygra's name wrong... but you did. Tygra's feminine. Personally, I don't see anything feminine about the guy, other than he talks a little soft and has a real brain. If having a brain makes a guy feminine, then I guess Einstein, Mozart, Newton, and all the other great scientists were females or hermaphodites.
And "A" is a feminine ending? What a jackass remark. I guess Mohatma Ghandi had a feminine name. Yeah, whatever. You want to talk about feminine? Tell me if Pidge is a boy or a girl. I'm still having hemorrhages everytime I try to figure that out.
You can't tell who's a boy and a girl on ThunderCats? You must have lived a sheltered life. Here's a hint, WileyKit, Cheetara, and Pumyra are females. Lion-O, Bengali, Tygra, Panthro, Lynx-O, and WileyKat are males. Go read some bios for info on the mutants, Lunatacs, and other characters.
I won't even respond to that last comment.
Well, that concludes my rant. In short, I'll call you Jack from now on, because you're obviously an ass.
Ready to kick ass, chew bubblegum, take names, and defend the Mighty ThunderCats from nitwits like yourself,
RobMan (robertsilvers@hotmail.com)
Godzilla sez: Grrrrrrr!!!!!!! Growf!!
ARRRRGGHH!!!!
[translation: I'm not a girl!]
Lion-ess Cheetara sez:
Thundercats males names that don't end in O:
Jaga
Claudis
Tygra
Bengali
Snarf
Snarfer
Wily Kat
BTW Thundercats female that don't end in A:
Wily Kit
So stop trying to dis Thundercats when you don't have a single clue about it! Nannie nannie poo poo!
Casca sez:
Hey! What's wrong with a guy's name ending in "a"? My name ends in "a"! Evil fiend, you have just made a very racist and sexist comment that has totally offended me. Now, you have given me no choice but to sue you! That's right, I'll sue you for all 10 cents in your bank account, which will undoubtedly (look it up) put you on the streets. The money will then be distributed evenly with all others whom you might have scarred for life with your nasty little words! Also, what in the hell gives you the blasphemous (look it up) idea that the Thundercats are fat?! Are you blind?! Do you need glasses?! Are you stupid?! Or just mental?! I think the two latter (look it up) things that I mentioned definately apply to you, seeing as how you have nothing else better to do with your pathetic life other than being a little lamer who sends out retarded flames. No, I correct myself, you give LAMERS a bad name. You are very ignorant, too, might I add. You say that anime is vastly superior to Thundercats. Well, as Cheezey has already pointed out, Thundercats IS anime. So in essence (look it up), you're saying that anime is vastly superior to itself. A quick tip on flaming: do a little research before you post your rants. It tends to save you from making a complete horse's ass out of yourself like you just did. Oh, and if you haven't noticed (and I'm sure you haven't), there's also a little device on your mommy's computer called a "spell checker" that lets you correct typographical (look it up), or in your case, grammatical mistakes. Isn't that totally wild or what?! In conclusion, my advice to you would be to shut the hell up. It will make the world a better place.
Sincerely,
Casca Rufus Longinus
(Not CascO, 'cause that sounds dumb)
P.S. I hope that I didn't scramble your pea brain too much with all of those big words.
Kazuya Mishima sez:
So you think I'm feminine because my name ends in an a? Listen, why don't you give me your address and I'll come over there and show you feminine! You'll be crying like a scared little girl after I'm done with you! I'm the King of the Iron Fist, damn it! You can't talk to me like that!
(Kazuya then grinned evilly)
Okay... I'll tell you what... why don't you go tell your opinion to my dad, Heihachi Mishima, and let me know what he thinks. I'm sure he'd be quite amused with your "opinion." Heh heh.
Sincerely,
Kazuya Mishima
King of the Iron Fist Tournament
Tekken 2
Nox'eem Sez....
Hey! My name ends in M! What does that mean! Damn! I thought I knew it all but, I guess not! By the way, I am female. You are quite possibly dumber than Monkian. I am not kidding. You must have way to much time on you hands. I think I'll join Simba for lunch.......
Nox'eem "The all powerful Demonic yet not Demonic Gryphon" Tonim
TarakDuras sez:
To the weenie who thinks the Thundercats suck:
May the Sword of Omens ride swiftly up your rear, you obnoxious, idiotic narrow-minded, RETARDED, moronic, CARTOON NETWORK PROGRAMMING EXECUTIVE!!!! Have a nice day!
By the way, since my name is Tarak, and I am a Klingon with an attitude, you think I have a feminine name? I will gladly join Mumm Raa and the Thundercats in kicking your rear from here to Third earth and back...and I'll be sure to tell BOBA FETT you said HE has a feminine name. (wotta jerk.......)
Tarak"I hate jerks" Duras
Kazul0509 sez:
Ok you fat ass dufus. Lets face it, you obviously have no life. this obvious because you go on the internet looking for sites about shows you don't like and bashing them. Let me tell you that Thundercats is one of number one show on the air and always will be. There are few shows that I can say that, and Voltron is not one of them mainly because I've never seen. Secondly, have you ever seen and eps. of thundercats? I'm thinking you haven't cuz if you had you would a) like it and shut up or b) not like it and forget that it was on the air. So for the sake of nomaking this letter any long I'll just say this: Get a life and stop bashing our show!
oh yeah one more thing: Tygra is the coolest thundercat and you should be glad I don't know where you live cuz I did you would be dead right now!! dork!
Alruhi sez... well... MSTs... (click the link heh heh this page is too long already!)
Have any comments? Want to make fun of these morons? Or do you think I'm just a heartless bitch and do you want to flame me too, heh heh? If so, send on the comments to Cheeezey@yahoo.com.
Enough stupidity! Take me back to the Hatemail Page or to Thundercats Zone!