LADY BAST PRESENTS

"Quest" for Intelligent Life



<The set is dark. Suddenly, a single spotlight illuminates the stage. Lady Bast skips out humming happily>

Lady Bast: Hel-LO! Welcome to the second installment of Lady Bast Presents! Now I know that I don't normally respond to flames, but after rereading my last installment, it occurred to me that I could use a little practise if I ever want to come close to Lefty's expertise. Also, I'm watching television and I need something brainless for my hands to do...

We have a little shorty one today, but it is SO pathetic, that it DEMANDS to be MSTed!

So, without further ado, let us bring out the... (dramatic pause) WHEEL OF MSTING!

<Lady Bast steps aside with a flourish and the curtains part to reveal the glittering wheel. Bast grabs one of the pegs and gives it a hearty spin.>

Lady Bast: Wheel of MSTing...spin, spin, spin! Tell us whose commentary we will win! And the winner is...GWYNN!...from the now-famoust "Greatest Show on Earth"!

<Gwynn appears in a puff of smoke and jumps around happily, a pink balloon ,tied to her wrist, bobs up and down.>

Gwynn: Yay! Yay, yay, YAY! Can we make fun of Mr. Questy now?

Lady Bast: In a minute, Gwynn. Now, for our next MSTer...

Wheel of MSTing...spin, spin, spin! Tell us whose commentary we will win! And the winner is...VENKA!...a member of the Warrior Maidens from the TCRPG, of course!

<Venka appears in a puff of smoke and bows graciously to Bast.>

Venka: Time to teach this creature a lesson!

Gwynn: YAY! (licks an ice cream cone that appears out of nowhere)

Lady Bast: (looks uncertainly at Gwynn) I agree! Let the humiliations begin!

 

Subj: from Quest
Date: 1/23/99 3:18:55 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: QuestEsq


Venka: QuestEsq? No, this...well he MUST be male!...has no ego...

Gwynn: What's an esq? Does it have nuts?

Bast: Well, it certainly has the balls to sent Cheezey a letter...

i'm in a bad mood right now and scinse casca blocked me i hav decided to go of on you.

Bast: Well that is a very good reason for being an anoying little twit...

Venka: Has this MAN no pride? He actualy ADMITS that he's too lame to get a life when he is rightly blocked?

Gwynn: (licks sharp little teeth) Can I have him with nuts?

cheezie you are so lame and preverted.your disgusting porn has nothing to do with thundercats

Venka: (in Quest's voice) Because I, who am not a pervert, have scoured every inch of your porn...

Gwynn: I like porn! It tastes like chicken....but I like ice cream better.

Bast: Let me guess...with nuts...

Gwynn: Wanna lick?

in fact it is a discrase almost up ther with chase's little fucking story about me and some other poeple.

Bast: I don't recall there being much fucking in that story...a lot of violence, but no fucking. I need to skin people more often, I forgot how much fun it could be...

Venka: Let me teach you how to strip the meat and bone the carcass...

Gwynn: I like to chew on bones. I like them with nuts.

you guys (especialy casca) could never kick my ass like that in the story.

Bast: Right, we could kick it so much better in real life.

Venka: If we don't spear the little bastard first.

Gwynn: YAY! Nuts onna stick!

i'm gonna report him and maybe even you if your not carefull.

Venka: Go ahead...we have connections too.

Bast: Seth, take an address. And tell your croc that dinner is on...

Gwynn: YAY! Fried nuts onna stick!

i totally agre with justin sonnentag (all tho that 'LOSSSSSSER' statment of his was a bit gay) that your page is an eyesore.

Venka: He'd do better, but he's afraid of us tracking him down that way. He might have to ::gasp:: deal with flame mail!

Bast: Although I WOULD like to see him do better. Then we could laugh at him more directly...

Gwynn: I like Cheezey! Cheezey gives me ice cream! Can I give Mr. Questy a head-push?

i think it sould be blown off the net. yea, blown off with all the garbage.

Bast: I could name a few items of trash...

Venka: Push away, Gwynn...

Gwynn: YAY!

why don't you go have a fucking orgy with al your fucking gay preverted friends espescialy chase!!!!!!!!! you lamo sicko. go to hell and burn ther. >:( >:( >:(

Venka: We'll see you there, bad boy...

Bast: (licking lips) Mmmmm...Quest barbeque...

Venka: I'll take mine flame-kissed, heh heh heh...

Gwynn: RAW! RAW!

thinking that cheezie and alluro shold hit it of togethr,

Bast: And what a lovely couple they'd make...

The great powrful Quest

Venka: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bast: Don't die or wet yourself or anything there, Venka...

Gwynn: What's so funny?

Venka: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahaha...cough...cough... I can't help it...wheeze..."great powrful"?... wheeze...hee hee hee...

Bast: Well, on that note we conclude another episode of "Lady Bast Presents"...drive carefully, be good, and if Gwynn offers you ice cream, don't take it.

Goodnight, everybody!

<Curtain comes down and the lights go dark>


Back to the Loser Known As Quest