"Schnearrrf! Dear Jaga, this itches!"

  Lion-o looked at his former (he wished) nursemaid. "What's wrong Snarf, why are you scratching yourself there?" Lion-o thought for a moment then remembered the medicine in the main bathroom. "Oh, I have some crab-cream… I use it all the time and it hasn’t let me down yet."

  Cheetara overheard that and briskly walked up to Lion-o… her face turning beet-red with anger. "So it was you… you sonofabitch!" She slapped Lion-o hard. "It took me two weeks to get rid of that shit!"

  Lion-o rubbed his left cheek with his hand as he stammered, "Honestly, Cheetara... I didn't visit you after Luna... oops..."

  Cheetara brought her staff within an inch of Lion-o’s "Sword." "I knew it! Plundarrian Crabs aren't very common around here!" She slapped him on the other side, causing Lion-o to groan and rub both sides of his face.

  WilyKit started to cry. "You said I was the only one for you!" Everyone else went silent and stared at Lion-o in shock.

  Cheetara broke the silence. "You where probably the only one that day Kit."

  Pumyra entered the control room and said, "Hi! I just came over from the Tower, how are things over here?"

  Snarf turned his head and said, "Did you say something… uh…" and turned back towards the others.

  Lion-o’s heart raced as he tried to figure a way out of this situation. "Hey, Pum… uh… you there! Could you give me a tour of the Tower? I need to get out... I mean study the power systems."

  Cheetara looked at Pumyra and sarcastically remarked, "Sure... just wait till he wants to examine ‘your’ outlet!"

  Pumyra started to flush with excitement. She was by far the cutest adult Thundercat, yet she could only get attention from Lynx-o. Then there was Bengali… she realized he was doing her all those years on the island because he wasn’t attracted to Lynx-o, and when he met Tygra he forgot she existed. It drove her to the point of seducing Mutants.

  Lion-o said, "Umm... see you later guys... I mean girls... I mean... let's go Pum… uh, yeah, let’s go."

  Pumyra wrapped her arm around Lion-o, but he backed away. "Whoa, easy there… uhh… what was your name again?"

  Cheetara snapped, "Pumyra, dumbass… but who cares about that right now. Look at Snarf!"

  Snarf took his cue and briefly stopped scratching. "Oh… but Lion-o! Wait… schnnnaarfff! I need that cure… oh, snnnaaarrrffff!" Snarf started scratching wildly.

  Lion-o just blew him off. "Later Snarf…"

  Cheetara said, "Just give him the damn cure… so his ass will shut up!"

  Lion-o looked around and saw the women staring and frowning at him. "Oh, Jaga… hang on, Snarf…" Lion-o muttered something about "that crabby-ass Luna" under his breath as he started heading towards the bathroom.

  Pumyra was just an inch short of jumping around the room in excitement. She was thinking, "I’m gonna get some! I’m gonna get some! And from that big hunk of a lion-man! Whooo hoo!"

  WilyKit blushed and scratched herself as she ran over to Lion-o in the bathroom and whispered, "Uhh… you got any more Lion-o? I need it too…"

  "Sure… hold on. Damn, where is it?" Lion-o was looking, but all he could think about was that he hoped Cheetara wouldn’t make the connection between himself and Snarf… he’d never hear the end of it.

  Cheetara loudly said from the other room, "What was that about Luuuuna?"

  Lion-o cringed and shouted, "NOTHING!" Lion-o silently cursed as he started scratching with one hand while searching under the sink with the other. "Shit! I know it’s in here!"

  WilyKit stood with her legs apart and her hands on her hips. "Luna? You were banging Luna!? I'll bet you even did Chilla behind my brother's back, huh? Lion-ho?"

  Lion-o cringed at that… he hated being called that name. Besides, who in their right mind wouldn’t do Chilla? She got more action than any other being on Third Earth… sure, doing her was risking frostbite and getting burned alive at the same time, but because of her low body temperature, Lion-o could keep a hard-on for hours. "Just hold on... damn, where is that medicine?"

  WilyKit suddenly lost her defiant stance as she said, "Oww!" and started scratching herself vigorously.

  Snarf came up behind WilyKit and put a paw on her shoulder. "Relax Kit. Mrr… even I had a time with Chilla. Reowr… she easier that Cheetara… snarf, snarf."

  WilyKit said, "Hmmph, I guess that’s okay then… if she’ll do you, then she’ll do anybody!"

  Lion-o cringed again.

  WilyKit walked back into the control room just in time to hear Cheetara say, "I’m going to tear that bastard up!"

  WilyKit grabbed Cheetara’s hair and screamed, "Me first, you tramp! He banged Luna, and we’re paying the price!"

  Cheetara started grabbing at WilyKit, who managed to stay out of her reach. "Oh yeah? I’m the adult, and I get to kick his yellow ass!"

  WilyKit screamed, "Like hell!" as the two of them started fighting.

  WilyKat came up the hallway and saw what was happening. He quickly concealed a green glass bottle he was carrying. "Whoa… catfight! Damn, someone’s rummaging through the bathroom." WilyKat decided to go back to his room, taking the crab-cream with him.

  Lion-o gave up and peeked around the corner. Seeing his chance, he darted across the control room while the women were occupied. Pumyra chased after him… she wasn’t about to let her lion-stud run off without her.

  Snarf vainly cried out, "Hey! Dammit, I paid her twenty Thunderdollars and she took off!"

  Cheetara shoved WilyKit to the floor and approached Snarf, eyeing him seductively. "I’ll finish the job for another twenty, and I’ll make it a unique experience, snarfy-snarfy-baby…"

  Meanwhile, Lion-o was fleeing in the Thundertank with Pumyra. He started to shift uncomfortably as he thought to himself, "Damn... now it really itches... but she's watching me! If I scratch, I won't get any… damn… why me, Jaga, why me?"

  Lion-o had a flash of inspiration as he shouted, "Hey! Check that out!" The moment Pumyra’s head swiveled, he got several quick scratches… stopping at the last possible moment when she turned back and said, "Check what out? LOOK OUT!"

  Lion-o shouted as he banked the Thundertank hard, narrowly avoiding a large tree.

  Pumyra started licking her lips and running her hand along the inside of Lion-o’s thigh. "So, Lion-babe, just what parts of the tower where you looking forward to seeing? You know, there's a major power grid access panel right inside my bedroom…"

  Lion-o said, "I don’t know, let’s poke around and see…"

  Pumyra smiled as she noticed his sword starting to grow… Lion-o started to shift uncomfortably, causing her to giggle. "There’s no reason to be nervous, big boy… and boy do I mean big!"

  Lion-o distractedly said, "Nervous? What are you… oh yeah, I… guess I am a little… I, uh… well, we’re here!"

  "Great! Wait until you see my access panel!"

  Lion-o grinned as they walked into the tower… he stayed behind her so he could watch her petite ass sway… and also so he could scratch himself.

  WilyKit got up from the floor and said, "Screw this," and started running down the hall. She was feeling hot and needed some relief. She kicked open WilyKat’s door and boldly announced, "WilyKat! Get your ass over here… I need you!"

  WilyKat said, "Uhh… hey!" as his sister hugged him seductively, started purring, and kneading his ass with her claws.

  WilyKat wiggled out of her grasp and said, "Uh… Kit. Please… I'm still kinda tired from last night." He started smiling as he said, "Boy, Chilla was… uh, never mind."

  WilyKit wasn’t taking no for an answer. "That’s no excuse! Surely you have something that’ll… keep you up."

  WilyKat thought for a moment… yes, that’s the answer! "Hey Kit, why don’t you stop by Tygra's lab and get some of that special ‘Stay Awake’ powder he and Bengali are always snorting? Oh, and I’ll grab some ice cubes in the meantime…"

  Cheetara was stroking Snarf’s body all over… she had him hot and shaking with excitement.

  "Oh Scnearrff… you make me forget the itching… Owww!" Snarf started scratching himself vigorously again.

  Cheetara thought about that for a moment… she didn’t like the idea of getting Luna’s Mutant Crabs, but then again, it was twenty Thunderdollars. She suddenly started smiling mischievously… she wanted to try something out on Snarf, and it was going to be fun! Besides, if she didn’t get too intimate, maybe she wouldn’t pick up Snarf’s little problem. "Wait here, Snarfy-baby… momma’s got some new toys to grab…"

  Tygra and Bengali were busy in the lab… they were trying out a new formula, hopefully a longer-lasting one. Tygra was standing behind Benny, doing something that WilyKit didn’t want to know about.

  Tygra said, "Hey! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking first?"

  Bengali looked up and stammered, "Uh, hi… it’s not what you think."

  WilyKit said, "Uh, sure whatever. Just be sure to take the hammer out before you try to sit down." She started giggling at that thought.

  Tygra looked at WilyKit with an expression of irritation. "What is it you want?"

  WilyKit said, "Oh… can we have some of your stay awake powder?

  Tygra quickly grabbed a small plastic bag and tossed it over to her. "Sure… just get the hell out of here. And, please… don't tell anyone what you saw."

  WilyKit smiled evilly as she said, "Thanks Tygra. I promise we won't tell anyone… we’ll just show them the pictures! Bye guys…"

  Tygra muttered, "Damn trollop... oh hey, we're alone again!"

  "Okay, the central power conduit runs through here... *giggle* it sure is tight in this crawlspace!"

  "It sure is… but I can move enough to do this! Thunder… thunder… thunder…"

  Lynx-o was kicking back in the main control room chair drinking a beer and chuckling to himself as he listened to Pumyra and Lion-o’s heated voices resounding throughout the whole ventilation system.

  A few minutes later, Lion-o stopped and said, "Dammit!"

  "What’s wrong?"

  "I can’t… reach… myself… oww!"

  Pumyra started to panic. "Why are you rubbing me like that? Hey, something's making me itch!"

  "Oh, no! I’m stuck… I can’t move!"

  Lynx-o burped, tossed the empty can behind him, and shouted, "’Ey Pummy is that you? I’m ready to teach you those ol’ cat tricks I told you about! ‘Ere, you alright up there girl?"

  Lynx-o chuckled and cracked open another beer as he heard Pumyra’s strained voice shouting, "It's okay! I'm just doing some oww, dammit… maintenance!

  Lynx-o started convulsing with laughter… so much that he started spilling beer on himself.

  "What do you mean you’re stuck?"

  "I worked my way up into this corner, and between that and you, I’m wedged in here! I can’t… scratch!"

  Pumyra’s eyes went wide. "WHAT!?!"

  Lion-o stammered, "I mean… I can’t… oh shit!"

  Pumyra felt an intense itching, like a colony of fire ants was making a home in her pubic fur.

  Pumyra screamed, "You bastard!" She slapped him repeatedly. He tried to defend himself, but his arms were pinned around Pumyra’s hips. "You gave me fucking crabs!"

  Beer sprayed from Lynx-o’s mouth as he started laughing hysterically and pounding on the armrest with his fist. He coughed a few times and said, "Oh, that’s rich… that’s bloody rich! Damn, I nearly inhaled me ale! Haw haw haw…"

  Cheetara handcuffed all of Snarf's paws together. "What are you doing? Snarf snarf…"

  "Oh, Snarf. You look so cute like that. Let's play a game… ever heard of ‘Prison Bitch?’"

  Snarf didn’t like the sound of that. "Uhh... this doesn't involve Jackalman, does it?"

  "That ‘ten second loser?’ Hardly!"

  If the situation were different, Snarf would have wondered how she got that knowledge, but right now, all he could think about was the vulnerable position he allowed himself to be in. "Uh, okay… mrrr… are you supposed to be ‘the bitch?’"

  Cheetara grinned savagely as she pulled out Tygra’s bolo-whip. "Not quite, Snarfkins!"

  Snarf’s eyes went wide. "Oh, no… snarf, snarf… I… can't move!"

  Cheetara extended the whip. "Good… It's called ‘Lockdown!’"

  Snarf said, "Oh, Schnearrf…" and regretted giving her his last twenty Thunderdollars.

  Pumyra was calmer now, but still stuck in the maintenance crawlspace with Lion-o. "How could you?"

  "Hey, you were all over me!"

  "Dammit Lion-ho! You could've warned me first… It's not like I would have changed my mind!"

  "Really? I uh… have some lotion back at the Cat's Lair, somewhere. Hey, does Lynx-o have any?"

  "Well, he did… but I used it to get rid of the crabs I got from Jackalman."

  Lion-o screamed in panic and started flailing away inside the tight crawlspace.

  Pumyra started shouting, "Hey! You’re hurting me! Stop it!"

  Lion-o was beyond reason… the thought of doing the same woman that Jackalman did made him freak out. He got free and slid down the crawlspace. Lion-o dove into the shower and starting scrubbing himself vigorously, and realized that Lynx-o was next to him doing the same. "Bloody ‘ell… Jackalman! Ach!"

  Pumyra was a bit bruised, but she didn’t feel the pain as she pounded on the bathroom door. "Hey! You assholes are so immature! Aww, hell with it." Pumyra opened the door and stepped in.

  "Holy Jaga, Pumyra! Jackalman, ‘ey… that’s bloody sick!"

  "Well, yeah. You would do it too if nobody paid attention to you. He's actually a nice guy, one you get to know him. Now why don’t you two boys just grow up and let me shower with you… besides, it was months ago."

  Lion-o looked at Lynx-o and felt foolish. "Okay, what the hell…" and opened the shower door. He couldn’t simply ignore her fine petite body, and besides… he did Luna. He wasn’t totally sober at the time, but enough to remember everything. He shuddered and shoved that thought aside as he looked at Pumyra’s fine fur… so fine, she really looked like a naked human, which really unsheathed the lion-lord’s sword!

  Lynx-o forgot his earlier revulsion as he smelled Pumyra’s fine musk and said, "So, what do you say, kids? Let’s make a ‘Thundercat sandwich!’"

  Lion-o agreed and started groping the two of them.

  Pumyra sighed and said, "So, just what kind of old cat tricks did you have in mind Lynx-o?"

  "Pummy Ping-Pong for starters…"

  Bengali and Tygra were really getting into it now… "Try your bolo-whip! The hammer just doesn’t work as well."

  Tygra said, "Good idea… uh… where did it go? Damn kids must be playing with it again… well, don't worry Benny... I remembered to bring Panthro's breaker bar this time!"

  Bengali’s expression changed to concern. "Uh, Tyg… did you wrap it in rubber?"

  "Of course! I twisted it a few times for ridges and I even added some knots."

  Bengali shouted, "Rrrrowr! Oh, goody!"

  WhrrrCRACK! "Schneeeaaaarrrrrffff!"

  "C’mon Snarf… WHINE FOR ME!" WhrrrCRACK!

  "Why meeeeeee?"

  Cheetara answered in a husky voice, "Because you asked me to… and because… YOU’RE MY LITTLE FURRY BITCH!"

  Snarf looked up to see that Cheetara was now wearing an oversized strap-on. "Nooooo!"

  Cheetara roughly flipped him over so he was balanced between his chin and all four of his cuffed paws. Cheetara yanked his tail upward. "Schneeeaarrrfff! Lion-o! Save me! Somebody!"

  "Ha haaaa! He's not here bitch, he ran off with... what's her name. You’re mine!" She lowered herself to her knees… ready to impale the small red and yellow creature. Cheetara started scratching herself. "Damn… now I’ve got them! You’re really gonna get it now, Snarf!"

  "NOOOOOOOOOOO! Can’t we talk about this, Cheetara?"

  "The time for talk is over, bitch!"

  WilyKit and WilyKat were seriously buzzing on Tygra’s magic powder. WilyKit tapped the bed and said, "C'mon Kat… no one's a knockin’, so let's get to rockin’!" She violently pushed her brother onto the bed and jumped on his face. "Oh yes, Tygra always has the best shit… we can explore for hours this way!"

  WilyKat struggled, but couldn’t get up. Although he was ready, drug-induced paranoia was starting to dig its claws into his mind. He started making muffled screams as his sister started yelling, "You eat me now, or I'll never get up! Don't be such a baby!"

  "Schnnneeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrffffff! Schnnneeeeaaaaaarrrrrraaaaaarrrrrrrraaaaaarrrrrffffff! Dear Jaga, somebody helschneeeaaaarrrraaaaarrrrrrrraaaaarrrrraaaarrrrrfffff!"

  "SHUT UP, BITCH!" WhrrrCRACK!

  "Schneeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrffffff!"

  Tygra paused for a moment. "Was that Snarf screaming?"

  Bengali called out, "Probably… forget him!"

  "’Ere, Lion-o, I’ll get 'er from behind, and we'll bounce 'er back and forth... ping pong, get it?"

  Pumyra smiled in anticipation. "Sounds easy enough!" She thought to herself, "I don't care...as long as ‘I’ get it!"

  Pumyra soon rose to new heights of pleasure as both orifices alternated between empty and full... "Ohhh... you sure know some good tricks, Lynx-o!"

  "Comes with age, love!"

  Pumyra screamed a fifth time and sighed, "Ohhhh... this is even better than the time when Monkian and Vultureman had... um… never mind."

  Lynx-o frowned slightly. "Bloody ‘ell… those two?"

  Pumyra rubbed her breasts and said in a faraway voice, "Mmmm Hmmm… and Slythe too..."

  Both Lion-o and Lynx-o screamed, "Aaaahhh!" and jumped backwards, dropping Pumyra on the stall floor.

  Pumyra shouted, "Hey, you bastards!" as Lynx-o and Lion-o turned up the water and started to vigorously scrub anew.

  WilyKit was screaming now, as WilyKat gave up and finally got in the mood. "YES! YES! YES! Aaaaaaaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaa!" WilyKat always loved to make her sound like an air-raid siren.

  Her turn finished, she started to nibble on WilyKat’s chest, working her way downward.

  "Yeah, suck me sis! Suck me like..." Kat started frowning and scratching his face. "Oh shit!" Totally losing his urges, WilyKat suddenly leapt up, making his sister tumble backwards on the bed.

  Lion-o, Lynx-o, and Pumyra were returning in the Thundertank. Lynx-o started scratching. "’Ang on, whatsis? One of you ‘ave the bloody crabs?" Lynx-o suddenly remembered the conversation that he was laughing to earlier… he was sobering up now, and it finally hit him. "Bloody ‘ell! Where did ‘ese come from?"

  Pumyra bitterly said, "Ask Lion-ho here… he probably slept with everything that moves on Third Earth!"

  Lion-o said, "Hey, at least I never bedded any Mutants!"

  Pumyra remarked, "That’s what you think! Apparently, you don’t seem to remember your drunken blackouts. You were seen with Monkian, Alluro, Vultureman, Luna…"

  That last name got a resounding, "EWWWW!"

  Lynx-o started to gag at the thought. He felt lucky he only had to hear her… but there was the one time when he couldn’t help but smell her! "Great Jaga’s ghost, Lion-o! Luna, of all things… I thought you ‘ad better taste than that, mate!"

  "Is their anybody you haven't done besides Mumm-Ra?"

  "Probably ‘as…"

  "Hey! I never did Mumm-Ra!"

  Pumyra added, "Probably because he wouldn’t have you!"

  Lion-o groaned and stared vacantly at the passing scenery… wondering how to change the subject. He couldn’t wait to get home… no, then he’d have to face the other girls all over again, and with Pumyra pissed off as well… Lion-o smacked his forehead. There was just no winning today!

  Lynx-o suddenly remembered something that frightened him. "’Ey, Don't tell me Lion-ho ‘ere is playing host to yet another crop of STD's?"

  Lion-o shouted, "Hey, that was last year, and Tygra gave me a clean bill of health!"

  Lynx-o said, "Yeah, but was that before or after Luna?"

  Lion-o just muttered, "Oh, Jaga…"

  "I don’t think you deserve an early release, bitch!"

  Snarf was bruised and broken, but he was grinning strangely. "Schnnnnaaaaarff… please, Cheetara, I’ll be good, snarf, snarf…"

  "You’ll do whatever I say?"

  "Mrrr… sure. Whatever you say… brrr, just take the electrodes off my ass… snaarrrrf."

  "What, and remove your incentive to behave like a good little Snarf? I don’t think so!"

  "Brrr… snarf, snarf… why me?"

  "Any more whining, and I’ll flip the switch again………that’s a good little Snarf!"

  WilyKat picked up his clothes and retrieved the green bottle. "So, you had it all along! Who was it? Chilla? Luna? Lion-ho?"

  WilyKat shivered at that thought. "I didn’t do Lion-o, that’s sick!"

  WilyKit added, "Why not, everyone else has! Hey, get back here!"

  "What?"

  "You’re not finished yet!"

  "N… no… please!"

  WilyKit lassoed her brother and started dragging him into the hallway. "Oh, yes… the fun’s just started! Let’s medicate each other in the shower!"

  WilyKat scratched his face again… the crabs were starting to migrate towards his hair and neck. He smelled his sister’s essence in his fur and decided that it wasn’t a bad idea after all. He was coming down from Tygra’s powder, and he could only handle so much of that stuff in one day.

  WilyKat cringed when he heard Bengali yell, "C'mon Tiggy… is that the best you can roar? It’s breaker-bar time!"

  WilyKit started tugging harder on the lasso. "Let's hurry up, get in there, and lock the door, before they get any ideas!"

  WilyKat said, "Like what? They only do each other! Lucky bastards never get crabs…"

  "Uh huh… but remember, you’re a male too… and you’re almost an adult! And you know how they get when they take all those drugs at once…"

  At that same moment, WilyKat heard a loud "RRRRRooooooaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" from Tygra that made him jump. In a panic, he tripped from trying to run with his arms pinned by his sister’s lasso; he quickly got out of the rope. Hearing Tygra’s workshop door opening fueled his panic as he clawed his way into the bathroom as quickly as possible.

  WilyKit relaxed a bit as she heard Tygra call after Bengali. "Hey, come back here! I’m not done with you yet!"

  Unfortunately, Tygra had spilled some of his modified fruit juice on the bathroom floor earlier, and it soaked into WilyKat’s fur; he started on a wild trip almost instantly. Kit was trying to drag him into the shower when he freaked out. "Dammit, Kat… quit stalling!" WilyKit grabbed her brother by the hair and started pulling him into the shower.

  "Oh, no… not that! Uh, err… help!" Kat was totally tweaked and dropped the bottle during the struggle, causing it to shatter in the shower. The cream was useless now: WilyKit wasn’t about to use cream that had broken glass in it… and besides, this was Tygra’s and Bengali’s shower. She wanted nothing to do with it now.

  "SHIT! What's wrong with you, WilyKat? You're acting like…" WilyKit caught the scent of Tygra’s hallucinogenic fruit coming from her brother’s chest. She saw the small puddle of fruit juice on the floor and realized what had happened. "Oh, that dumb-stoned prick!" She immediately picked up the larger pieces of glass and started washing away the smaller fragments down the drain. She scrubbed her struggling brother down to get the juice off of his skin and hopefully bring him down to some kind of normality.

  WilyKit dragged her still-tripping brother out of the shower and dressed him… she just unlocked the door when a naked Tygra burst in and said, "Hi kids… anyone in the shower?" He pushed his way past them and said, "Well, there is now… hurry up, Benny!"

  WilyKit felt ill as she watched Bengali stagger into the shower and give a subdued "Gwerr…" as he wrapped himself around the stoned architect. Tygra turned the hot water up a little more as WilyKit dragged her dysfunctional brother down the hall. Steam started pouring from the bathroom door as the twins made their way towards the control room.

  Pumyra, Lynx-o, and Lion-o were making their way up the hall that led to the control room. Pumyra was shouting, "You are such a moron Lion-ho! How the hell could anyone trust you to lead the Thundercats, when it's your dick that leads you!"

  They entered the control room and were greeted by the sight of Snarf and Cheetara scratching themselves in agony. Cheetara totally lost interest in her game as the Mutant Crabs re-established a foothold in her fur. Luckily for Snarf, she removed his shackles so he could also scratch himself.

  Lion-o was scratching himself again as he asked the others, "Urrrgh, where’s the cream?"

  Snarf stopped scratching to answer… his fur was totally messed-up from scratching, and he looked like he had bitten into a live wire again. "Mrrr… don’t you have it? Schnnnaaarrf!" Snarf resumed his wild scratching.

  Cheetara looked up from her own labors and snapped, "Damn you, Lion-ho!"

  Pumyra said, "Damn Jaga’s balls, I itch!"

  WilyKat felt like he was levitating down the hallway. His sister managed to get him clean, but he was still as high as a kite. They entered the control room in time to see the others scratching wildly, and their fur was starting to dry… causing the Mutant Crabs to become active again.

  Pumyra smacked Lion-o on the back of his head. "Moron! I just knew you’d screw everything up, Lion-ho!"

  Cheetara slapped Lion-o in the face once again for good measure.

  Lynx-o spoke up. "’Ey, we can blame each other later, let’s just get the bloody crab-cream, okay?"

  Cheetara noticed the twins looking at each other in a guilty fashion. "Uh, kids… where’s the cream?"

  WilyKit nervously said, "Uh, about that cream…"

  Cheetara’s face flushed red. "Kit, you didn’t…"

  WilyKit said, "No, genius-boy here dropped the bottle in the shower."

  WilyKat started scratching himself, looked downward and screamed, "MICRITS!" He started running down the hall, closely followed by his sister.

  Snarf said, "Oh great, and to top that, WilyKat got into Tygra’s stash. This is just perfect… snarf, snarOww!" Snarf started scratching again.

  Lynx-o remarked, "Damn you Lion-ho, and your bleedin’ crabs… again!"

  Bengali and Tygra enter the control room looking pleasantly refreshed. Tygra's eyebrow furrowed as he noticed all the others scratching.

  Pumyra was doubled over in agony as she snapped, "What the hell are you looking at?"

  Tygra sized-up the situation immediately. "Benny, quick… let’s get back to the lab where it’s sterile!" Both tigers took off running for the lab.

  Lynx-o said, "Bloody fairies!"

  "Mrrr… Lion-o, can’t the sword do something about this… snnnarf? Rooww… I mean it can do just about everything else!"

  "No Snarf, the Eye of Thundera must never be used for personal gain."

  Everyone in the room said in unison, "Use the sword, asshole!"

  Lion-o shouted, "Okay, okay! Thunder… thunder… thunder… Thundercats, Ho!"

  "Well?"

  "Schneeeaarrrrfff, I’m still itching!"

  "Shit!"

  Lion-o suddenly got an idea. "Hey, Tygra’s the scientist around here… surely he has something, or he could make something…" Lion-o started to smile mischievously. "And if they had the Mutant Crabs like the rest of us… he would have to make something!"

  Lynch-mob mentality slowly overcame the Thundercats as the constant itching conspired to drive them insane. Cheetara said, "Why not… I owe Bengali one for stealing my Tygra!"

  Pumyra said, "Yeah, and your Tygra stole my Benny! Wait a minute, don’t the Berbils sell crab-cream?"

  Lion-o said, "Did someone say something? Never mind… lets get those damn tigers!"

  Everyone else (except Pumyra) shouted, "Yeah!" Snarf added a "Snarf, snarf!" as they all rushed towards the lab.

  Lion-o started pounding on the door. "Open the door Tygra! Don't make us come in there!"

  Lynx-o started shouting, "'Ere... you 'ave the equipment, the chemicals... let us in you fairy bawsteds!"

  Cheetara shouted, "Yeah! …Whatever he said!"

  Lynx-o said, "’Ang on… I ‘ere something… Tygra says he's flying, and Bengali says he's swimming... the bloody 'ell?"

  Cheetara scratched herself and said in an irritated voice, "They're fucking high again!"

  Lynx-o’s eyebrows went up. "I really should get out more often!"

  Lion-o came up with a plan. "Snarf, get your ass over here! I'm gonna shove you into the vent, then you'll crawl into the lab and open the door… got it?

  Snarf responded, "Mrrr… I don’t like this Lion-o…"

  "I’ll give you a boost, Snarf!"

  "Careful Lion-o. Mrrr… I'm kinda tender back there… snarf, snarf… schneeeaaarrrff!"

  "Oops, sorry Snarf... hey guys, keep an eye on things, I'm going to... uh, wash my hand."

  That made everyone wrinkle his or her nose. "Ewwwww!"

  Tygra and Bengali looked upward as they heard something skittering inside the ventilation shaft. They were fascinated by the sound, but they were so far gone on Tygra’s Fruit that it didn’t cross their minds to close the shaft off.

  Snarf was muttering to himself. "Sure, Snarf… raise little Lion-o… look after the twins… cook dinner… make candyfruit pie… talk that Balkan down from the water tower… crawl through the vent… Brrr… I should have left with all the other Snarfs, but no! I had to stay with these lousy, unappreciative, vindictive, violent, Thund… mfff… hmmffff! Mrrr… oh, no… Hey, I’m stuck! …Mrrreoww!" Snarf managed to get his head through the vent leading into Tygra’s lab.

  Tygra looked up at the protruding Snarf-head with hazy eyes and said, "Oh, look... a red angel!"

  Bengali followed Tygra’s eyes and said, "Huh? That's a red fish!"

  WilyKat came out from behind some boxes with his sister and said, "Wow, a Snarf’s head made from a hundred Snarfs made from a thousand Snarfs made from Oww!" WilyKit smacked her brother on the back of his head.

  WilyKit, being the only sober one in the room, said "You idiots, that’s Snarf!"

  Snarf started calling to them. "Hey, I’m stuck! Roooww… Tygra, Bengali… snarf. You gotta get me out of here… oh, I'm stuck… snnnaaarf!"

  Cheetara was getting very impatient as she extended her staff and stuck it down the shaft like a crazed chimney sweep.

  "Oww… Oww! Stop it! Schneeaaarrf! Reeeeeeeeoooooowwwwww!" Snarf tumbled out and landed on Bengali, who caught him by instinct… and caught something else too!

  Cheetara withdrew her staff, made a face, and walked towards the bathroom to clean off the end of it.

  Lynx-o sniffed the air and said, "I say, did Snarf not make it to the litterbox?"

  Tygra started backing away as he imagined all those near-invisible crabs migrating from Snarf to Bengali. Tygra desperately wished he had made an escape hatch somewhere in his lab, but he was trapped. He made a mental note to work on an escape route for the lab.

  Tygra turned around and ran into WilyKat. WilyKat made like a Deadhead and hugged Tygra. "I love you, man!"

  Tygra started to panic. "Aaaahhhh! No! Let go, WilyKat! I don’t want your crabs!"

  "But… I love you, man!"

  "Look, I love you too, but now is not the time… dammit, Kat… let go of me!"

  "Peace, my tiger brother… my fellow Thunderian… wow, you’re so orange it’s far out! I love you man, I love everyone! Party on, Tygra!"

  WilyKit tried to get through to her brother. "Kat! No! I warned you about those two… get back here!"

  Tygra looked down and realized just how old WilyKat was getting… why, he was old enough to… Tygra lost his train of thought as an intense insect-induced itching suddenly hit him.

  "Shit! Come over here, Benny!"

  Benny was sitting against the wall with a stupid grin on his face. He was watching Snarf melt in front of his eyes. "Rrreerr… this is far out!"

  Snarf was just sitting there rubbing his ass. "Oh, Schneeaarrff! What a shitty day! Snarf, snarf."

  Tygra panicked and spun around to get away from WilyKat. He knocked over a test tube holding an experimental formula that he was working on… it was supposed to produce giant fruit in the Garden of Delights. Some of it splashed on Snarf… and to his horror, several of the crabs magically grew until they were almost Snarf-sized and started skittering around the lab.

  Tygra cursed his idea to merge science and magic… he wanted big magical fruit, but instead ended up with gigantic Mutant Crab Lice.

  Snarf freaked out and leapt for the door switch… before the door was even a quarter open, he squeezed through and dashed to the shower to get Tygra’s vile formula off of him

  WilyKit and WilyKat tried to get out of the lab, but they were met by the angry Thunderians who pushed their way in. Lynx-o charged and collided with the kittens, sending all three of them tumbling to the floor. WilyKit shouted, "Watch where you’re going, dammit!"

  Lynx-o snapped, "Get a clue, girl!"

  "Get a seeing-eye Snarf, old man!"

  "Piss-off, you little tart!"

  The giant Mutant Crabs started to latch onto Lynx-o and the twins. WilyKat absently swatted at one that had latched onto his back and said, "Hey Snarfer, knock it off… it's not Friday!"

  Lynx-o and the twins started screaming as the crabs started to feed on them.

  Lion-o backed Tygra into the corner of the room. "Okay Tygra, where the cure? And don't lie, you tend to keep that kind of shit in stock!"

  "Honestly Lion-ho, I don't have one. I've never screwed a Mutant, so I've never had to worry about it!"

  "I never screwed a Mutant… and quit calling me Lion-ho, you stoned fairy!"

  "Well, Luna isn’t exactly a Thunderian, you know!"

  Cheetara, Snarf, and Bengali simultaneously said, "Ewwwwww!"

  Tygra added, "And if you had remembered any of your drunken sexual rampages…"

  Pumyra and Panthro entered the lab together, brandishing a large jar of crab-cream. Panthro looked around and said, "What the hell?" He started flinging handfuls at the giant crabs, causing them the dart around the room and knock over more test tubes and flasks. They finally stopped moving to everyone’s relief.

  Pumyra sobbed. "Oh no! Those… things have eaten Lynx-O and the twins… this is horrible!"

  Lion-o looked around. "Did you say something Cheetara?"

  "No, it was Pumyra."

  "Who?" Lion-o shook his head and looked around the room.

  Snarf looked around too. "Hey, where are the kids? Snarf, snarf…"

  Lion-o gasped, "Oh no! Those… things have eaten Lynx-O and the twins… this is horrible!"

  Pumyra screamed, "I JUST SAID THAT!"

  Lion-o looked behind him. "Said what, Cheetara?"

  Cheetara said, "Uh… sure Pumyra, whatever."

  Lion-o said, "Whatever… so where was this cream anyway?"

  Pumyra said, "Panthro had a case of the stuff in the trunk of the Thundertank!"

  Panthro said, "I had a case of the stuff in the trunk of the Thundertank."

  Cheetara said, "Thank Jaga… you were just in time Panthro. This itching was driving me crazy!"

  "Hey, with all my hoes, you think I'd be unprepared?"

  Pumyra said, "If only we could have saved Lynx-o and the kittens."

  Lion-o said, "Too bad… if only we could have saved Lynx-o and the kittens."

  Pumyra shouted, "I JUST SAID THAT!"

  Lion-o looked at the cheetah again. "Said what Cheetara?"

  "Not me, you dumbass… Pumyra! She was complaining about something again."

  "Who? Never mind… give me some of that cream!"

  Pumyra screamed and briskly walked out of the lab; she started thinking about the fillet knives in the kitchen.

  Everyone started sighing in relief as they started spreading the crab-cream on themselves.

  Tygra looked over at Lion-o as he applied the cream to himself and Bengali. "See what sowing your wild oats did this time Lion-ho? Thanks to you, we're now short two kittens and an old fart!"

  Lion-o said, "You’re right, Tygra. I was foolish to sleep with every female who crossed my path."

  "Female?"

  Lion-o said, "Don’t start! I… I’ll lay off the Berbil Brandy and start being responsible… besides, there’s much better than Luna right here."

  Everyone rolled his or her eyes.

  Panthro said, "Yeah, right… if it has at least one hole and a heartbeat, Lion-o will drag it into the bushes. The only thing he hasn’t screwed yet is me… and Mumm-Ra!"

  Tygra stammered, "Me either!" Bengali stayed silent.

  Lion-o shouted, "Up yours, Panthro!"

  "No thanks, Lion-ho!"

  "DON’T CALL ME THAT!"

  Cheetara got between them. "Hey, in case you boys haven’t noticed, we have a serious problem here!"

  Everyone looked silently at Cheetara, waiting for an explanation.

  "The twins are gone, and we can’t let the Thundercats die out. We’re the last of our kind."

  Panthro chuckled, "Well, half the female population of Third Earth will probably have furry kids with red hair…"

  Lion-o shouted, "Asshole!"

  "Dreaming of it will get you nowhere, boy!"

  Cheetara screamed, "WILL YOU TWO SHUT-UP!" The room went silent as Cheetara continued. "Half-Lunataks aside… uhhhh! …Oh yeah, we need to worry about making new kittens... the Thundercats must continue! What's-her-name and I will get off the pill right away."

  Panthro and Lion-o gasped. "You… you’re serious?"

  Snarf shivered at that idea. "Oh no… no more kitten-sitting for this ol' Snarf. Snarf, snarf! Brrr…"

  Cheetara said, "We could have Snarfer move in…"

  "I’LL DO IT, Snarf, snarf! Anything would be better than that. Mrrr…"

  Tygra said, "Yes, Snarf… we must all join forces no matter how… unpleasant the task might be."

  Bengali was sobering up… and the reality of the situation hit him. "You mean... we have to do females?"

  Tygra said, "We all have to…"

  Snarf said, "What do you mean, ‘We?’ I'll just get stuck doing all the housework as usual! Snarf, snarf."

  Cheetara shivered at what Snarf was implying.

  "Benny… just imagine you’re back on that island with Lynx-o and uh… what’s-her-name." Bengali was visibly disturbed by that thought. He and Lynx-o never went near each other and Pumyra was always all over him.

  Panthro spoke up. "Hang on, I’ll go get Pum… Pam… whatever!" Panthro started running down the hall.

  Lion-o said, "Who?"

  Cheetara answered, "Pumyra."

  "Who?"

  "That girl with the cut-away dress, belt, and ears, dumbass!"

  "Oh, the shower-girl!"

  Cheetara shook her head in amazement at her "Lord" and his incredible density.

  Panthro rounded the corner by the control room and gasped in amazement as Pumyra lunged at him with a rather large knife. She screamed, "DIE!"

  Years of martial arts training and fighting Mutants and rival pimps had prepared him for moments like this. Panthro was calm and calculating as he quickly removed the blade from her hand. He was proud that he didn’t even acknowledge his instinct to kill her for attempting that. Yes, he was quite the master of his craft. Now he smiled, as he was about to apply the other half of his superior skills.

  Panthro picked the sobbing girl up off the floor, held her chin up, and looked deep into her eyes. "Hey, babe… don’t cry. We need you… and only you can help us!"

  "R… really?"

  "Yeah, we need new kittens, and Cheetara is getting on in her years." That wasn’t exactly true… but Panthro had a goal to achieve here. "I had high hopes for WilyKit in a few more years, but now, you’re the hottest babe on the planet."

  Pumyra started crying more as Panthro smiled deviously to himself. Yes, a pimp who doesn’t know how to handle his hoes is soon out of business. "Come on, beautiful… the others are waiting for you, and I’ll see you later on tonight… if you want me, that is." Panthro put on his "puppy-dog eyes" and Pumyra gasped and hugged the big panther tightly. Panthro wondered why he never thought of this before… he just never really noticed her. He thought to himself, "Mission accomplished… one hot and happy Thundercat hoe to go."

  Panthro entered the lab with his arm around Pumyra. "Okay, listen up everyone… Pum… er, shout your name out, babe!"

  "PUMYRA!"

  Panthro said, "Yeah… Pumyra… remember that name, because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of her… and I mean a ‘lot more of her!’" Panthro knew that depressed hoes that brandish knives need to be kept in the spotlight. "So, all hail Pumyra!"

  Everyone but Bengali shouted, "PUMYRA!"

  Pumyra started crying and buried her face in Panthro’s chest as she sobbed, "Panthro, you’re the greatest." Panthro thought to himself, "Yeah, you better believe it!"

  Lion-o shook his head and asked Cheetara, "What was her name again?"

  Cheetara shook her head. "Pumyra, dumbass!"

  Lion-o said, "Whatever…" He raised his voice to full "Lord of the Thundercats" volume as he started to remove his uniform. "Okay, listen up everyone, we need to make more kittens as soon as possible, so… Thundercats, Hoooooo!"

  Almost everyone else started to disrobe as they shouted, "THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOO!"

  Tygra frowned and said, "You too, Bengali…"

  Bengali sighed and started to undo his uniform. "Okay… Thundercats… ho."