KNAVE GETS SIDESWIPED

 

                It was an average day in the Tower of Omens.  Lynx-O and Snarf were on duty while Bengali and Pumyra were elsewhere.  Lion-O, delivering a new mega condenser for the Thunderstrike, looked around and realized that he couldn’t find Snarfer.  “Where’s Snarfer?” he decided to ask.

"We decided not to cook today, so he went to order Mexican takeout from Robear Roberto's taco stand at the Berbil Village." Snarf replied.

"Chile con carne." Lynx‑O said hungrily.

"Refried beans." Snarf added.

"Beef enchiladas." Lynx‑O continued.

"Guacamole!" Snarf exclaimed.

Lion‑O laughed. "Enough! You're making my mouth water."

"Well Snarfer should be back soon." Snarf said, and picked up a communicator. "Snarf calling Snarfer! Where are you?"

Snarfer received the call in his yellow ship flying in space above Third Earth.

"Snarfer here. I'm taking the long way around Dark Side, Unc. This baby's been overheating, yep."

"You were supposed to be here an eon ago! We're starving!" Snarf complained.

"Well you won't have to worry about it being cold." Snarfer joked.

 

                Meanwhile Chilla and Knave, in the Ice-Hypno Flyer, were traveling through the space ways, stuck behind Snarfer.  "I don't know why they allow these primitive slow‑loading junkers to clog up the space ways.  I'm going to frost the furball,” Chilla said.

“Be my guest,” her brother said, “it’s only Snarfer.”  Chilla hit the gas and clipped the side of the little ship.  The Iespyk siblings merrily coated it in ice.  “Excellent shooting, sister,” Knave remarked.

“It was, wasn’t it,” Chilla replied.

 

                Even as Snarfer’s engine began to seize up from the cold a pair of eyes watched the action.  Soon the airwaves were broadcasting her voice.  “This is Mandora, Evil Chaser First Class, in close pursuit of a hit and run.”

 

                “What?  A space cop?” Chilla cursed.

“Let’s outrace her!” Knave replied.

“Not in this piece of junk.  Remind me to beat Tug Mug when we get back to Skytomb,” Chilla said as Mandora’s motorcycle landed on top.  "This is the Interplanetary Police. Land your vehicle at once!" she ordered.

 

                Snarfer's ship, meanwhile, crash‑landed on the planet's surface nearby. He was not hurt, and hopped out of the wreck. "She froze that engine up solid! How am I gonna deliver that Mexican takeout now, rowr?" His ears twitched and he saw Mandora, Knave and Chilla landing.

 

                “What’s the charge?” Knave demanded.

“Too fast, too low, too bad!” Mandora replied. "I'm writing you up for reckless rocketing and leaving the scene of a side swipe.  Now let me see your license and registration!"  Chilla began digging through the glove compartment, “It’s here somewhere,” she said.  Mandora was so occupied watching Chilla that she failed to notice Knave inhaling and breathing ice around her throat.  “Come on.  Let’s get out of here!” Knave shouted as the Flyer lurched forward and was off.

 

                Snarfer looked up and ran over to Mandora. "Holy hot sauce! Knave's iced officer Mandora! Hey, that gives me an idea! Hang tough Mandora, I'll fix you up! I've got just the thing, yup!"

 

                Soon, Mandora sat up, fully recovered. "What *cough* whoa, what was that you gave me? Some new super‑secret space medicine?"

"No, it was the hot sauce from the Mexican takeout dinner, rowr, I was supposed to be delivering it to the Thundercats when those Lunataks iced my ship!"

"Come on, we'll deliver it together. I've got some business with the Thundercats too." Mandora told him. They hopped on the Electrocharger together and took off. "Oh boy!" Snarfer exclaimed.

 

                Meanwhile, the Lunataks arrived back at Skytomb, They stood with Luna and Amok in the control room. "That lady cop had the nerve to try and give us a ticket!" Chilla scoffed

“But we were too smart for her,” Knave added.

"I hope she does." Luna said.

"What?!" an infuriated Knave replied.

"With Lynx‑O's braille board, the Thundercats can get to us. If we could capture that braille board, we could design a defense against it." Luna told her.

"But I don't see‑‑" Chilla began

"The only way Mandora can get to you is to come through to Dark Side, and she'll need Lynx‑O and the Braille Board to do it." Luna explained.

"I get it.  When she does, we'll capture both of them and the braille board." Chilla finished.

"Exactly." Luna said.

 

                Back at the Tower of Omens, Mandora and Snarfer landed outside. "This is Mandora Evil Chaser First Class. Permission to come aboard?" she called.

"Permission granted." Lion‑O replied.  Once inside, Snarfer began telling everyone excitedly what happened.

"Guess what Uncle Snarf? I got sideswiped by the Iespyks, ooh, she frosted Mandora and‑‑"

"Where's our Mexican takeout food?!" Snarf demanded.

"We brought it back on Mandora's bike. Except by now it's 'chili' rowr, hehehe. It's a little joke, 'chili', hehehehe." Snarfer said, giggling.

"Well Mandora, it's been awhile since‑‑" Lion‑O started, extending his hand for a friendly greeting.

"Sorry Lion‑O, no time for pleasantries. I have a warrant here for Chilla and Knave's arrest. I mean to track them down and serve it." Mandora said, holding up two papers.  One with Chilla's picture on it and the other with Knave’s.

Snarf looked concerned. "If they crossed over to Dark Side, you're going to have a tough time doing it."

"I was made to understand that you people have a way to get through." Mandora said.

Lynx‑O stepped over to them as Lion‑O spoke. "Mandora, this is Lynx‑O. It is his braille board that guides us through the forest of mists to Dark Side."

"All right, Lynx‑O, let's go." Mandora said impatiently.

"Forgive me, Mandora, but making that trip is dangerous in the extreme." Lion‑O warned her.

"Right. Wait until they come out, they’re always making raids.  You can nab them then," Snarf suggested.

"Oh no." Mandora said. "They broke the interplanetary law and they must be made to pay."

Lynx‑O nodded in agreement. "The law is the law, and the degree to which it is broken is not the point. I will accompany Mandora and use my portable braille board."

 

                Over at Skytomb, Luna, Knave and Chilla were in the landing bay going over their plan. "Chilla, you and your brother are to wait at the exit of the canyons of Dark Side. When the Thundercats and Mandora appear, draw them into the trap." Luna told her.

"Will do." Chilla agreed.

“Consider it done,” Knave hissed.  The pair then proceeded down to the hangar and hopped into the Ice-Hypno Flyer.

 

                Now Lynx‑O and Mandora were on their way over, flying towards the cliff that marked the entrance of the forest of mists. "It's a solid wall... of mist." Mandora said. "Are you sure there's an opening there?"

"Oh yes, rest assured, the canyon opening is there." Lynx‑O replied as they flew closer.

"We'll never make it through! It's too narrow!"

"Oh no, the Thunderstrike fit through with a bit to spare." Lynx‑O assured her.  They entered the tunnel, barely dodging spikes and electric beams.  "The howling twist‑‑ the only way to get through is to go with the flow." he told her.  "Spin!" The Electrocharger spun through the canyon and exited on Dark Side. "Navigation complete, Mandora. I'm switching you from braille board

to manual."

"Thank heavens that's over." Mandora said. They descended a bit, not yet noticing that the pair of Lunataks were behind them.

 

                “This is Knave calling Luna.  They’re through.  I hope you’re ready,” Knave said.  Mandora was riding casually, looking around for Chilla and Knave. "There is no doubt they are hiding in some inaccessible spot.  We'll have to be‑‑" Mandora was cut off when Chilla buzzed past, missing a collision with them by mere inches. "Hey! That nervy lawbreaker is asking for it! If she wants pursuit, she'll get it!" Mandora stepped on the gas and followed the Ice-Hypno Flyer.

 

                The Iespyk siblings led the police officer toward Skytomb, disguised as a volcano.  “I can’t believe this is actually working,” Knave remarked.

“It isn’t completed yet.  Hang on tight,” Chilla said, zooming through the narrow opening.  Instantly Alluro and Tug Mug lowered the net that would trap Mandora and Lynx-O.  Predictably the heroes fell for it and were soon placed in holding cells.

 

                “Luna.  I present to you, one braille board,” Knave said, his sister at his side.

“At last.  The thing I have most desired is in my grasp.  I think I’ll push this button at the end,” Luna said.

“Don’t you think we should get Alluro to...” began Knave.

“Hush, brother.  Let her have her fun,” Chilla hissed.  Luna pushed the button and all but one button vanished.

“What!  That blind old fool can’t trick me.  To get the buttons back you push the middle one,” Luna said.

“Luna.  I think my brother might have had the right idea.  Let Alluro look at it before...” Chilla began.

“Silence.  No one may question my decisions!” Luna shrieked, pushing the last button.  Instantly the braille board vanished.  “Bring in Lynx-O!” she said.

 

                Alluro and Knave led Lynx‑O in, while Chilla checked the Flyer for damage. "Lynx‑O, the braille board disappeared into thin air. Where did it go?" Luna asked him.

"Right back where it came from. In here." Lynx‑O replied, pointing to his head.

"Are you telling me that what I had in my hands was an idea?" Luna asked.

Lynx‑O nodded. "Correct."

"All right, let me see it. Make it appear right now." Luna demanded.

"I'm sorry, but my ideas don't work in evil company." Lynx‑O told her.

"Oh yes they will!" she threatened. Amok smashed his hands against the ground and grunted. "Or Amok will pull them out of your head with his bare hands!" Luna screeched.

"Ah, Luna, why not attach the skull scope to his head and look in?" Alluro suggested.

“Oh god no, not that thing,” Knave grumbled.

"Silence you!  That's not a bad idea. Set it up, Alluro." Luna ordered.

 

                Lynx-O was soon strapped to a machine with a helmet.  Alluro paced in front of them “For Knave’s sake I’ll explain what the machine does,” Alluro began, “I enter words over here and anything related will be pulled from Lynx-O’s brain and displayed on the screen.”

“I know what it’s supposed to do.  Just get on with it,” Knave retorted.

“Very well.  I’ll type in braille board, would you like me to spell that for you Knave?” Alluro asked, receiving a set of rolling eyes for his troubles.  The screen came up blank.

“Maybe YOU spelt it wrong?  Or maybe yet another invention of yours has gone kaput,” Knave said.

“It hasn’t.  It worked last night when I used it.  Chilla looked wonderful on the screen in that green sequin dress,” Alluro said, dodging an icepick thrust.

“Just turn up the power,” Luna said.

“Not that it matters but too much will kill him,” Alluro said.

“Oh spare me the ethical dilemma,” Knave sneered.

 

                Elsewhere in Skytomb Mandora was being held by Vultureman.  The Mutant had decided to pay a visit to the only Third Earthers who either didn’t smell or wouldn’t try to hurt him.

"You are in serious trouble Vultureman," Mandora warned. "Do you know the penalty for holding an officer against her will? 20 years to life on the penal planet!"

Vultureman looked over. "Caw! no kidding. Well, it looks to me like you're the one doing time, eh. They're letting Lynx‑O have it right now. Your turn will be next."

The door hissed open and Red Eye came into the room. "What do you want, Red Eye?" he asked.

"Just thought I'd have a little fun with my pacifier on the evil chaser here, heh heh." Red Eye replied, holding up a rod with a ball on the end of it. "Luna thinks Mandora may know how to get the braille board back, too."

Vultureman laughed. "Caw, good idea. Give her a couple shots for me,"

"Nothing would make me happier, Vultureman." Red Eye said.

Mandora nearly smiled as she realized that Red Eye was standing close to the cage.  She easily grabbed the pacifier, twirled it and aimed it at the pair.

Vultureman screamed. "Caw, look out, she's got the pacifier!"

Red Eye lunged at the cage, but crashed into the bars, and gripped his chest in pain as Mandora fired once.

Vultureman flailed and ran for the desk. "I'll sound the alarm!" Mandora zapped him with the pacifier and the cage blew open.

"You people are under arrest!" Mandora shouted. Red Eye recovered and fired at Mandora from the disc on his chest plate, but Mandora used the pacifier to turn the missiles around so they hit him instead, shorting it out and shocking him senseless. "Look out!" Vultureman warned too late.

"All right perpetrator, you were warned. Now accept your punishment!" she said to Vultureman. He rushed at her, and she zapped him with the pacifier.  He was knocked into a cage with the beam, and Mandora hit some buttons on the control panel to lock him in. "The result of crime is incarceration." she informed him with a victorious smile.

 

                “Aha!  Look at the monitor.  I’m finally getting something!” Alluro said, pumping his fist triumphantly.

“It’s about time,” Knave said.

“But, what is it?” Luna asked.

“It’s a woman of some kind.  Mandora!” Alluro exclaimed, even as the police officer stepped from the screen and fired her pacifier at Knave and Alluro.

“Amok.  Crush her!” Luna said.

“Not so fast!” Mandora said, zapping Amok’s foot.  Luna toppled from the screaming monster and looked up at Mandora.  “Last chance.  I’ve got Knave, where’s Chilla?”

“There’s no sense in me keeping just one.  You might as well have them both,” Luna began.

“Luna.  How could you?” Knave said, before being zapped again.

“She’s in there,” Luna said, indicating a tube.  Lynx-O and Mandora entered the tube and Luna sealed it.  “Aha!  I got that dumb flatfoot!” Luna said.  They then blasted the pod Mandora and Lynx‑O were trapped in out of Skytomb and watched it head for space on the monitor. "They'll be battered to pieces, spin dried, and orbiting Third Earth forever!"

 

                Back at the Tower of Omens, the Sword of Omens growled in warning of danger.  "Rowr, oh, trouble, snarf, snarf!" Snarf said.

Lion‑O held up the sword. "Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight!" A vision of Mandora and Lynx‑O spinning in the pod came to him. "Lynx‑O and Mandora!  They'll be smashed to pieces in that thing, Snarf! And I don't have time to summon the other Thundercats!"

"Rowr, you have to do something Lion‑O!" Snarf cried.

Lion‑O held up the sword and swung it. "Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats, HOOOOO!" he shouted.  The sword extended and the Cat Signal projected through the tower's equipment, out the eye on top, and captured the pod in its beam, and brought it down to Third Earth safely.

                Inside the pod, Mandora and Lynx‑O were finally able to regain their balance. "What? What's happening?" Mandora asked.

"I think we're within the Sword of Omens' force field. We're being pulled down to earth." Lynx‑O said.

 

                Once they were safely on the ground, the hatch opened, and Mandora and Lynx‑O came out. Snarf and Lion‑O greeted them. "Brrr, are you ok? That was some kind of‑‑" Snarf began.

"I don't have time to stand around and jaw, Snarf! I came for two Iespyks, and it's two Iespyks I'm going to get!" Mandora said angrily.

"Gee Mandora, you must be the most obstinate cop I ever met." Lion‑O said with amusement.

"You betcha, Thundercat! Now, are you going to give me a ride to Skytomb, or do I have to requisition you?" she asked with a sly smile.

Lion‑O returned her smile. "Fire up the Thunderstrike, Snarf, and let's show how we cooperate with the law around here!"

 

                Minutes later the Thunderstrike blasted off bound for Dark Side. Once they arrived, Mandora pointed out the window. "There it is! Put me down behind the cliff, Lion‑O. I'll approach from the blind side."  The Thunderstrike landed.

 

                Knave was sitting on the wing of the Ice-Hypno Flyer.  “And then Luna fired them off into space.  I suspect that’s the last we’ll ever see of Mandora and Lynx-O,” he said.

“I suspect that you’re wrong,” Mandora said, as she and Lynx-O entered.

“Why don’t you cool it?” Chilla asked, breathing a stream of ice.  Knave hung his head in his hands.  “Must you use puns?” he asked as Mandora fired her pacifier.  Just when it looked like Mandora might win Knave put his own ice breath into action, encasing the space cop in ice.  Lynx-O looked around frantically for a means of escape but found none.  Soon he was back under the influence of the Skull Scope while Mandora was chained nearby, forced to watch.

 

                “There’s something coming up on the monitor!” Alluro cried out, yet again.

“What is it?” Knave asked.

“I can’t tell.  It’s big and odd shaped,” Chilla said.

“It must be the braille board!” Luna said.

“No!  It’s the Thundercats!” Alluro shouted as all the Thundercats fell through the monitor.  This time Luna, Amok and Alluro abandoned their ice comrades.  “We can’t win.  Take them!” Luna shouted.  A stunned Chilla and Knave were grabbed and imprisoned for their crimes.

 

                Sometime later as the Thundercats and the prisoners stood outside the Tower of Omens.  Snarf turned to Lynx‑O. "That Mandora's one tough cop. She always gets her man no matter what the crime, large or small."

"Thundering traffic ticket!!" Snarfer exclaimed.

"What's the matter with you, Snarfer?" Snarf asked.

"I left my ship double‑parked on the hangar ramp, rowr!" he said, and ran out. Lynx‑O and Snarf laughed heartily as he rushed to move it in time.

Back to Fanfic Archive