RD sez:

>>Us bad guys are always getting abused in this manner. I've all but

>>become numb to this 'treatment.' Fianna, you are a bad dog! Not

>>once can I ever get my way?

Heh heh, okay boss...this time, we'll let evil win!

For setup, the Anti-Tiger group has laid hold of my spaceship from "Where Evil Lives", with a few modifications by our fearless leader...

"I Promised RD Evil Could Win This Time!"

::Confuscus say: assassin who sticks head up may find it shot off, heh heh heh...::

"Okay, everything's stabilized," Shark said as he gazed at the console. "Looks like Thundera Tiger is done with us for a little while."

"Hot damn!" Zhie crowed, kicking her heels up onto her console. She reached into her lab coat, produced a virgin bottle of Gentleman Jack and proceeded to deflower it vigorously.

RD Rivero stretched mightly and yawned gapingly. "Well, now that that's over with, I think it's time to unwind a little," the evil one said as Lady Thundera came up behind him and began to rub his shoulders.

Fianna looked over at Shark, who shrugged elaborately, then back to Rivero. "If you two would like to be alone, we can go down to the galley and hustle up some kibble," the caninoid said, his trade-mark tounge-lolling grin plastered onto his face.

"This relationship is strictly putonic," Rivero protested feebly.

Shark came up beside Fianna and nudged him in the ribs. "I don't know who's tounge is hanging out further, yours or his."

Rivero bristled, and shook off Lady Thundera's ministering fingers. "Nonsense! And I'll prove it," he said. "Come along, my ersatz henchmen. We'll tour this mighty vessel, beginning with-"

"The VR terminal seats?" Fianna interjected excitedly. "The science and medical labs? The conference room with it's holographic display?"

"The Tygra Torture Chamber!" RD concluded grandiosely, throwing his head back imperiously.

"Oh goody!" Lady Thundera squealed.

"Oh brother," Fianna sighed.

"I'm out," Shark said. "Somebody's got to keep watch here.”

“Zhie?” Fianna said hopefully.

“Forget it, dog-face,” Shark interjected. “She’s out, too.” To which the king cheetah’s snores bore rattling testament.

With a sigh, Fianna followed the evil duo off the bridge.

********

RD led the way through the massive vessel, down several decks to what had previously been the brig. On the door, drawn in bloody, dripping letters, was “RD’s Playroom”.

“Hey!” Fianna woofed. “This was a reaserch vessel! It didn’t even HAVE a brig!”

“MWAAAHAHAHA!” RD roared in mirth as he flung the door open and stepped aside, waving his arm at the chamber. “If that disturbs your delicate sensibilites, you’ve not begun to experience the terror, the horror, the despair, the black depths of...”

“The wreckage,” Lady Thundera gasped.

“Uh-wha?” RD gasped, spinning around to look through the portal.

The three walked into the chamber slowly, taking care not to step on anything pointy or edgy or crushy or burny or, well, you get the idea.

“What happened here?” Fianna whispered, awed. Rarely had he seen damage of this degree.

Blood was everywhere, on everything. The spilled brazier had dumped sooty hot coals across the floor to mix with pools of gore and produce a stench of cooked meat throughout the room. Various instruments of pain administration lay in disarray, some intact, others broken.

RD walked slowly to a table and picked up an object there. He turned to face his companions, tears welling in his eyes.

“My thumbscrews,” he whimpered. “My genuine replica inquisition thumbscrews. I-I never even got to use th-them...” And then he began to cry.

Lady Thundera rushed to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, whispering, “There there, sweetie pooh, it’s okay. Hey, c’mon now, be a trooper for me, huh?”

RD pulled away a little and snuffled, looking into her eyes. In a little boy’s voice he said, “Can we go find them?”

“Of course we can, darling,” she said, stroking his hair, nodding. “And we’ll make them beg for death before we destroy them. Won’t that be fun?”

“Uh-huh,” RD said, smiling slightly.

“That was close,” Fianna interjected, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. “I was about to go hyperglycemic.”

RD pushed past Lady Thundera and moved to the brazier. “Someone’s been using my hot irons! Note how the branding tips were left covered in tatters of seared flesh?” he said, sticking the thing under Fianna’s nose. “A sure sign of an antideluvian sensualist!”

“Or somebody who doesn’t clean up their toys when they’re done playing,“ Fianna muttered, turning even greener.

“Look!” Lady Thundera exclaimed. “Deadly thundranium chains! A firm indication of an Ambrosian satirist! And the knife work, as evidenced by the blood spatters! Classic First Earth assassin technique!”

“That’s it!” RD exclaimed. “I know where they went!” And then he raced out of the room.

“RD, wait!” Lady Thundera and Fianna yelled in unison, and ran after him.

********

Down corridors, around bends, up stairs, down stairs, on and on they ran, until at last they reached...

“The shuttle bay!” RD cried as he stormed inside, his companions gasping and wheezing as they staggered after, dropping to the deck.

“COME OUT, WHOEVER YOU ARE!” RD bellowed. “SURELY YOU KNOW YOU FACE THE DREADED MASTER OF ALL EVIL! COME FORTH AND DARE THE WRATH OF RD RIVERO!”

“...and his amazing friends...” Fianna wheezed from the deck.

A light laugh echoed throughout the hold, a sound both melodic and dischordant, like fine crystal shattered against a concrete block.

“Dreaded indeed, but ‘master’ no longer!”

She sauntered out from behind one of the shuttles then, moving with a cat-like grace. A human, small in stature, a contemptuous look of self-assurance gleaming in her eyes. Beside her, crawling on all fours at the end of a huge chain, was Lion-O. The Lord of the Thundercats was almost unrecognizable, clad in black leather bondage garb ornamented with silvery studs and spikes. His scalp was bloody from huge patches of mane that appeared to have been ripped out. The word “REDRUM” was seared into the fur of his forehead’

At first glance, he appeared to have sprouted a tail. Then they realized it was a riding crop, only half of it visible.

"There's a new sheriff in town," the newcomer said slyly.

"AXELLE!" the companions blurted out.

"MWAAAHAHAHAA!" Rivero roared. "For a moment, I thought this interloper might actually pose a threat! You would have done well to remain quiet, woman, for now you will taste the power of my deadly craft!"

Rivero's hands flashed into his robe, returning with his trademark notepad, but not a pencil. This time it was a Bic click pen.

"Whoa," Fianna breathed. "Semi-automatic."

"I upgraded," RD called back. He depressed the silver actuator on the writing instrument; the two-stage click resounded across the chamber like a Beretta chambering a round.

"That is where you fail, RD," Axelle smiled, her eyes never leaving Rivero's, displaying no emotion other than mild amusement. "A true master, ah, I mean mistress of evil understands the old adage: my enemy's enemy is my ally." Then she stepped aside.

"RIVERO!!" a powerful voice roared from where Axelle had been. Tygra materialized there, dropping his veil of inivisibility. All eyes turned to him. Or more precisely, to the groin of his costume, which was swollen to basketball-sized proportions.

"I FOUND MY VIAGRA!" the tiger yelled, and then the front of his trousers exploded.

All became confusion. There were yells and howls, but above it all were the mingling sounds of Axelle's merry laughter and RD Rivero's horrified scream of "MY EYE! MY EYE!"

*********

“Tygra?” Zhie said skeptically.

“Yep,” Fianna said, nodding furiously.

“Sucker punched him?” Zhie continued.

“Never saw it coming,” Lady Thundera replied, also nodding.

“Damn,” Zhie said in hushed tone, examining the unconcious form on the table. “Strangest damn fist bruise I ever saw. Almost perfectly round.”

“Ooooooooooh,” RD moaned. Suddenly he sat bolt upright. “LOOK OUT! IT’S GONNA BLOW!” he screamed.

“Easy chief, easy,” Fianna said, putting an arm around his leader’s shoulders to steady him. “It’s all over, their gone now.”

“Here, put this on it,” Zhie said, offering RD a steak. “It’ll take the swelling down.”

“No thanks,” RD said, pushing her hand away. “I’ve had entirely too much meat in my eye already.”

Zhie and Shark exchanged puzzled looks, but before they could ask, alarms began to ring through the vessel.

“We have Tiger sign!” Shark yelled, dashing to his console. “ETA, one minute!”

As the others went to work, Fianna leaned over to RD and said, “C’mon boss, fess up; is Lady Thundera your chew toy?”

“I BETTER NOT BE ANYBODY’S CHEW TOY!” she roared.

“Soooo, he’s your chew toy?”

“Oooo, that is IT!” Lady Thundera fumed, dropping into a fighting stance as RD mumbled, “...that would hurt...”

As RD‘s evil accomplace advanced, Fianna began to back slowly away hands held out in a placating manner.

“Now c’mon, LT, I’m just teasing, honestly! There’s *oof* no need for *Ugh* violence! Well, okay then, we *ack* can spar, but no hitting below the GAHHH!!!”

“...b-b-belt-t-t-”

---

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