So Happy Together

 

Morning had given way to early afternoon on the Third Moon, and the royals, their extended family, and guests were finally beginning to recover from their hangovers.  The hangovers were the result of TugMug’s visit, which had begun the evening before.  The graviton had instigated a drinking party just before dinner, and he had taken great amusement in watching his former shipmates from Skytomb and their family, the Lunar royalty, get drunk.  He had been the lone survivor of a nasty hangover and he was still sleeping in, enjoying the luxury of the plush guest suite that had been provided for him.  The others had not fared quite so well.

 

Alluro had been one of those that did not fare well, for he had drank what he thought in the sobering light of morning a ridiculous amount just to prove to TugMug that he was not a lightweight.  One would think at my age, I would have outgrown childish drinking games, he berated himself, but TugMug was not the most mature influence, so he blamed him instead.  Morning had been rough on him, especially with Erissa trying to wake him up a few hours ago, but the added sleep he had gotten after he hypnotized her back into bed had done him considerable good.  The only lingering effect was a headache and that was easily remedied, and that was the reason he was headed into the kitchen.  “Where do we keep the headache pills?” he demanded of one of the several Lunatacs on the kitchen staff.

 

“Lord Alluro, it’s a surprise to see you in here,” one of them, a slight lunar man, replied.  “We gladly would have brought some to the room.”

 

Alluro shook his head.  “Chilla had a bit too much to drink last night and doesn’t want to hear any knocking or noise,” the psi replied.  “And I’d rather not see myself or any of our fine staff frozen solid over an aspirin.”

 

Another maid smiled and retrieved a small bottle of pills from one of the cabinets.  “Here you go,” she said, handing them to him.  She paused for a moment in front of him, as if she had something she wanted to say but was not sure how to phrase.  The psi noticed her hesitance and raised an eyebrow questioningly, and she decided to just blurt it out.  “I’m sorry if this is too intrusive, but we’re all curious.  Do you… know what happened last night?”

 

Alluro frowned.  “Yes, I was there with them throughout the little party,” he replied.  “What do you want to know?”

 

“Er, well…” she hedged uncomfortably, “we were wondering if it was true about what happened with Lady Luna and Governor General Frostor.”

 

Alluro blinked, and then remembered in the drunken haze that was the previous night that The Troll had been pissy toward the ice man, and had at some point been unable to hold her liquor and had puked on his shoes.  She can’t even be charming drunk, Alluro thought snidely, and nodded to the maid.  “It’s true,” he said, shaking his head slightly.

 

However, the incident Alluro was verifying to be true was not what the kitchen staff had in mind.  They had heard from some of those on security, and from Dianai, the maid assigned to Luna’s quarters, that Frostor had spent the night with Luna.  “It is?” the lunar man who had first noticed Alluro repeated.  “It’s not a misunderstanding?  All of it’s true?”

 

“All of it,” Alluro confirmed.  “And I don’t think Frostor’s shoes will ever be the same again,” he added, strolling back toward the door.

 

“My gods, he really did spend the night with her,” the maid whispered aloud in shock.

 

Alluro paused for a moment, thinking he could not have possibly heard them correctly, but decided that it was just his throbbing head and walked out.  That was just too disturbing a thought for him to ponder.

 

* * *

 

Two floors above, Luna was already aware of what some of the staff thought about her supposed “relationship” with Frostor and she was not pleased with it.  It was true that the two of them were friends—although at the moment she was hardly speaking to him thanks to a recent argument—but certainly they had never been romantically involved.  There was one time when he had impulsively kissed her after the Battle of the Swords, but nothing ever came of that and she had long dismissed the incident merely as him being in a good mood.  Certainly their relationship had been nothing but platonic since then, which was fine with her.  He was interesting company, and she supposed not bad looking for an icewalker his age, but his arrogant demeanor toward her was hardly something she found endearing or attractive.

 

Unfortunately the maid that had been assigned to her room for the morning had heard from someone on security—someone she would have publicly flogged if she found out his identity—that Frostor had left her room late.  It was true that the Governor General had taken her to her room after Amok had passed out in the ballroom the night before, and she and Frostor had some words before she fell asleep, but she had not even been aware that he left her room late.  The staff assuming wild things about her with him had her absolutely livid, especially because they were not true.

 

Luna frowned as she looked at Amok’s empty bed, which was a very plush cushion and pillow set-up on the floor.  Amok had not returned yet and that had her annoyed as well.  She did not like being trapped in her quarters without a ride, and she wanted to see that the staff was set straight before any more stories got spread around.  With each passing minute she knew the need for damage control was more urgent.  If nothing else, the staff was incredibly efficient at spreading rumors.  She would know, for she had fed a few to them about Alluro and his use for hair tonics and improper use of mirrors the last time he had gotten her angry, and those rumors had spread like wildfire.  She dreaded what the talk of her and Frostor would evolve into if left unchecked.

 

Unable to wait any longer, Luna rang in one of the staff to come to her for assistance.  Within minutes one of the maids, one called Imbri, showed up in her room.  “Where is Amok?” she demanded of the servant.

 

“He’s downstairs eating breakfast, Lady Luna,” she answered.  “Apparently he got locked in the ballroom last night and when he emerged he looked rather under the weather.  He’d been sick in there overnight.  Queen Selene had us tend to him and get him some juice and cinnamon toast immediately.  He’s feeling better now though,” the maid assured her.

 

Luna frowned.  “Good, then if he’s feeling better, I want him sent up here now.  I need him.  I have things to do,” she huffed importantly.

 

Imbri nodded.  “Of course, my lady.”  She paused at the door before leaving entirely.  “Lady Luna, I believe General Frostor will be down there shortly as well.  Shall I have your place set up beside him as usual?”  There was a mischievous twinkle in the servant’s eye that Luna caught very clearly, and it annoyed the lunar woman greatly.

 

“Absolutely not,” Luna snapped.  “Any words I have with Frostor will be had privately.”

 

“Oh, I completely understand,” Imbri answered with a smirk.  “I do hope that things work out, my lady.”  With that she departed into the hallway.

 

Luna shrieked unintelligibly as she realized her words had backfired, and threw one of her riding crops at the door.  “Augh!” she exclaimed.  “It’s even worse than I thought!  I’ll bet that blowhard said something to make them think this.”

 

To her further irritation, Luna then realized that if she wanted her crop back she would have to make the laborious walk across the room to get it.  Grumbling, she climbed off her bed and made her way over to where the crop lay on the ground.  Just as she picked it up, Amok came through the door, smiling dumbly, and hoisted her onto his shoulder.  “Morning, Luna!” the brute greeted her cheerfully.

 

“Good morning, Amok,” she said flatly.  “At least you’re one welcome face to see this morning.  Take me downstairs to Frostor’s office.  I have a few things I would like to set straight with that icy fool.” 

 

Amok grunted agreeably and carried her out of the room.  Frostor’s office was on the other side of the MoonTower a level below her, and the most direct route there took her right past the staircase, where two of the cleaning staff conversed by a laundry cart.  As she passed by she overheard their conversation, of which she clearly heard mention of Frostor’s name and a “she” that he had been with, and she halted.  Both the servants eyed her with clear merriment, which led the suspicious and aggravated lunar woman to one conclusion—that they had already heard the unfortunate rumor.  “What?” she demanded.

 

The pair blinked, taken by surprise at her shrill and accusing tone.  “Nothing, my lady,” one of the startled maids stammered.  “We were just saying how happy we were for you.”

 

“I am not happy!” Luna retorted shrilly.

 

“But we heard that last night—”

 

“You heard nothing!  Am I making myself clear?” Luna shrieked in outrage.

 

“Yes,” the servants murmured in unison.

 

“Good.”  She glanced down at Amok and tapped him.  “Come on, boy.  You know where we’re going.”  Amok let out a grunt and took off down the hall toward Frostor’s office, leaving the two stunned servants behind.

 

“What do you think?” one asked the other.  “Denial or a secret affair?”

 

“She is heading to his office, and she never actually denied anything,” the other answered with a smirk. 

 

The second maid broke into a knowing grin.  “Secret affair.”

 

“Maybe she’d be pleased if we short-sheeted his bed?”

 

“Short-sheeting hers would certainly make no difference,” the other maid quipped, and they both giggled as they went their separate ways to the rooms they were assigned.

 

* * *

 

Upstairs, another of the palace cleaning staff, a lunar woman named Celipse, had been assigned the task of linen cleaning and dusting.  She was collecting the linens from all of the rooms in the wing that included Frostor’s quarters.  Like nearly the rest of the MoonTower, Celipse had heard the rumor of Luna and Frostor’s wild night as soon as her shift started when a plump and burly graviton named Bahb that worked on security had filled her in.  Bahb had not been very pleased with the turn of events, but that was not all that surprising as it was fairly common knowledge among those in the Tower that he was attracted to the Governor General.  Of course, Bahb knew that the icewalker was straight, but that did not stop him from being testy about it.  Even if Frostor did not swing his way, certainly he was a much better catch than that short old bat Luna, in his opinion.

 

Celipse knocked at Frostor’s door, and was surprised to hear him answer from inside.  “Yes?”

 

“I’m here to collect the linens and have them cleaned, Sir.  I can come back later if you’re busy.”

 

“No, come in,” he rasped irritably, and pulled the door open.  Celipse noted that the general looked a bit haggard, but from what she had heard about the drinking party and then of how late he had been up with Luna, she was rather surprised to see him looking that alert. 

 

She pushed her cart into the room and went over to take down the curtains, and noticed his cold breakfast tray, which had only been half eaten.  “Would you like me to take that downstairs for you as well, Sir, or are you not finished yet?”

 

Frostor nodded.  “Yes, take it.  I don’t have much of an appetite this morning anyway.”

 

“Yes, sometimes it can leave you feeling that way the morning after,” she replied cheerfully, and collected the tray after placing the curtains on the cart. 

 

The icewalker narrowed his eyes dangerously at the maid.  “I assume you’re referring to the alcohol?” he challenged.

 

Celipse then remembered that the affair was supposed to be a secret.  “Oh yes, of course,” she covered brightly.  “Graviton beers will kill you every time.  Bahb brought me a few at the last staff party.  You should talk to him.  I’m sure he wouldn’t mind showing you which ones to try and which to avoid in the future.”

 

“Thanks, but no.  I’ve had enough of gravitons, their beers, and the results of them to last a lifetime.”  He sighed and noticed his ruined shoes, courtesy of Luna’s over-imbibing of the Eclipse Stout.  “One thing you can do, though, is have these sent down to be cleaned,” he said, indicating his shoes.  “They were a bit of a casualty in last night’s activities.”

 

Celipse paled when she saw the infamous shoes.  Like the others on the staff, she had heard how Alluro confirmed their role in Luna and Frostor’s previous night’s activities.  While she was an open-minded sort and could easily understand a foot fetish, the thought of actually handling shoes that had been Moons-know-where was not anything she wanted a part of.  “Er… did you say your shoes, Sir?” she asked, hoping she had heard him wrong.

 

Frostor nodded an affirmative, much to her disappointment.  “Yes.  That’s one of my favorite pairs, and I’ll be damned if stains Luna caused will ruin them.  Please have them cleaned as soon as possible.”

 

A distressed look crossed the maid’s features as she approached the closet and saw the shoes in question.  The once well-polished black boots were covered in a white crust that had the beer foam emesis had dried to overnight.  It looked far worse than what the maid had been told, especially considering that the fact that it was vomit and not another bodily fluid was not part of the story she heard.  She took a few steps closer and bent over, and then as her mind was flooded with a disturbing vision of how they might have gotten to that state, she straightened back up and looked at him almost pleadingly.  “With all due respect, Governor General Sir… I’d rather not touch your shoes.”

 

Being told “no” was not something someone in his position often heard from one of the staff, and Frostor turned to her, puzzled.  “I know they’re a little messy, but they’re dry now.  I do need them cleaned,” he insisted.  Then he frowned as another possibility occurred to him.  “They don’t smell that bad, do they?”

 

Celipse smiled weakly.  “Not at all, Sir.  In fact I’m sure that some might find the smell quite pleasant,” she answered, eyeing them warily.  “But I’d still rather not touch them.”

 

Frostor was now completely baffled, but after the morning he’d had already, all he wanted was to get the maid out of his room.  “Look, you have gloves in that cart, don’t you?  Use those, but get them cleaned, and that is an order, not a request.”

 

“Yes, Sir,” Celipse mumbled as she donned a pair of rubber gloves from one of the cart’s drawers.  She walked over and plucked the boots off the floor as if they were the most distasteful things she had ever seen, and quickly stuffed them in a plastic bag.  She murmured a quick and polite goodbye to the Governor General, and then left the room.

 

When she left, Frostor sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the spot his shoes had occupied with an utterly baffled expression on his face.  “Why are they sniffing my shoes?”  He said aloud, and debated asking Selene and Psiarik if they bothered screening any of the staff before hiring them.  After pondering it for a few more moments and not coming to any reasonably sane answers, he decided he would ask that of them sometime, and soon.  In the meantime, he planned on speaking with someone else who might be able to assist him in putting the rumor to rest.  He went to his office and paged Alluro.

 

The hypnotist strode into the Governor General’s office three minutes later.  “What’s going on?” the psi asked as he took a seat by Frostor’s desk.  Alluro had been in his quarters waiting for his headache to go away, and his medicine had almost taken effect when he had heard Frostor’s call for him.  He wondered what the ice general wanted and was curious if it had anything to do with the strange remark he had heard on the way out of the kitchen earlier.

 

Frostor got up and shut the door behind Alluro and retook his seat.  “I need your help with something, Alluro.  With your powers you can make people forget things, right?”

 

Alluro’s eyes went wide as he came to the conclusion that he had heard the servants correctly.  “By the gods, you did sleep with Luna,” he muttered in astonishment.  “No wonder you want to forget it.”

 

“No,” Frostor growled irritably at Alluro’s misinterpretation.  He was displeased to see that the rumor had already gotten back to him and who knew whom else.  “It’s not me that I’m talking about.”

 

“You mean you want to remember?” Alluro exclaimed in disbelief.

 

Frostor growled, exhaling an icy mist from his nostrils.  “No!” he exclaimed.  Any further words were cut off, however, when Luna and Amok came barging into the room.

 

“How dare you tell everyone that I slept with you?” a furious Luna screeched, waving her crop at Frostor angrily.

 

“I didn’t tell them anything!” Frostor snapped back, slamming his fist onto his desk in a rage.

 

Alluro stood, his ears twitching slightly and a smirk on his face as he watched the exchange.  “Ah, so it is a secret affair.”

 

Luna let out an unintelligible shriek and glared at the psi.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“Frostor came for my advice,” Alluro replied, “but it looks like you two need to talk more and work this out.”  The psi then headed through the door.

 

“No, Alluro,” Frostor protested.  “We didn’t,” but unfortunately Alluro was gone before he could finish his sentence, “sleep together,” the ice general finished miserably.

 

Luna narrowed her eyes at Frostor.  “You told Alluro of all Lunatacs?”

 

“I didn’t tell Alluro a thing.  I called him in here to get everyone to forget this mess.  Do you think I want the whole Tower thinking I slept with you?”

 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Luna replied indignantly.  “Of the two of us, I’m the one who should be most insulted by it!  You would be lucky to have had someone like me!  But me, you made me out to be a cheap whore you couldn’t even spend the night with when you fabricated this little egotistical tale, when I’m the Queen’s closest living adult relative!  My reputation is ruined!”

 

Frostor fought back the urge to laugh.  “Luna, I’m sure your reputation is no worse than it ever was, my dear former criminal gang leader,” he stated sarcastically.  “And for the last time, I did not spread that rumor.  Some maid came into my room already talking about it this morning.  Apparently someone on security saw me leave your room.”

 

“Yes, at four in the morning,” she seethed.  “I can’t believe you fell asleep in my chair!”

 

“You fell asleep before I left.  We were both tired,” he countered.  “And regardless of who said it, the damage is done.”

 

Luna sighed.  “Well we can’t let this go on.  The gossip is already intolerable.”

 

“You’re telling me.  Between that and the maids sniffing my shoes, I’m seriously considering moving into the military complex.”

 

“Don’t you dare,” Luna snapped.  “The way the rumor mill flies around here, they’d probably blame that on me or our so-called breakup!”

 

Frostor frowned thoughtfully.  “We’ll have to put an end to this, and now.”

 

“What are we going to do?”

 

The icewalker reached for the phone on his desk, which dialed into the intercom system that broadcasted across the tower.  “Very simple.  I’m going to make an announcement that will set them straight, once and for all.”

 

Luna relaxed somewhat in her seat on top of Amok.  “That’s not a bad idea.  Surely that will stop the stories from circulating, if they hear it from you directly.  It would be treasonous for them to question the Governor General’s official words.”

 

Frostor nodded, and keyed in the code to bring the intercom system online.  When he heard the beep clearing him to talk, he took a deep breath and addressed everyone present in the MoonTower.  “May I please have your attention?” he began.  “This is Governor General Frostor speaking, and I have an announcement to make.  I have heard some disturbing rumors this morning concerning Luna and myself.  I would like to set the record straight on this matter.  Yes, I took Luna to bed last night but we did not sleep together.  In fact, there was no sleeping involved.  That is all.  I would appreciate no further speculation by anyone on this matter.  Thank you,” he finished, and ended the transmission.

 

“Oh, thank you so much for your help,” Luna shrieked sarcastically.  “That helped a lot!  Next time I’ll do damage control myself!”

 

“What?” Frostor snapped.  “I told them the truth!”

 

“You told them you took me to bed, but you didn’t sleep!” she howled in outrage.  “What do you think those gossip-minded fools will think?”

 

A worried expression crossed Frostor’s features for a moment, but he quickly convinced himself that Luna had to be overreacting as she often did.  “Don’t be silly, Luna.  They’re not stupid.  I stated the truth plainly.  Who could read more into that?”

 

* * *

 

Overhearing the announcement, the graviton called Bahb sighed sadly and pounded his chubby fist against the wall.  “I’ve lost my chance,” he lamented aloud. 

 

TugMug, who was up by that time and wheeling by on his way to the ballroom bar in the hopes that it was unlocked, saw the upset fellow graviton and frowned curiously.   “Chance with what?  Luna?” he asked incredulously.  “Man, you can do better than that old shrew.  I lived with her for years.  You’re not missing anything!”

 

“Screw Luna,” Bahb retorted bitterly in his thick First Moon accent.  “I’m angry about the Governor General.  Have you seen how he looks in his uniform?”  He sighed and rubbed his spiky purple hair.  “He’s been single for years, you know, and Celipse had me convinced that I might really have had a chance with him.  She was even going to set it up for me to get him a few drinks so we could get to know each other.”  He shook his head.  “Sure, him being straight was a challenge and all, but he has bad enough taste to sleep with Luna?  What a waste!”

 

TugMug shrugged.  “I hear you.  Luna breaks every man she gets near, and that doesn’t even count the ones she dates.  Look at Alluro.  Did you know that before he met her, he had a full head of hair?”  He shook his head.  “If it’s any consolation, if I wasn’t married, and it was a choice of either you or that bitch Luna, I’d pick you.”

 

Bahb just sighed again, and TugMug nodded sympathetically.  Although he did not share Bahb’s attractions, he had to feel bad for anyone who got rejected in favor of someone like Luna.  “Hey,” he said brightly, “they have Eclipse Stout in the bar.  Get yourself a stein of it on the royals’ tab.  If any of them ask, just tell them that TugMug’s got it taken care of.”  He gave the other graviton a hearty pat on the back to encourage him, and wheeled off to get some booze for himself.

 

* * *

 

Selene, having recovered noticeably from her hangover since that morning, sat in one of the MoonTower’s sitting rooms reading over a summary report from one of the delegates on the Fifth Moon.  Psiarik was also in the room, although he was being far less productive than his wife as far as reading up on government paperwork.  Instead the Queen’s husband was lazily stretched out on one of the plush couches with his feet up on the armrest.  As if the position was not already undignified enough, his pet—a furry little creature native to the Third Moon called a bibit and a gift from his wife the previous holiday—sat on his leg with its stubby little limbs hanging over the edge like a sloth.

 

The quiet scene was interrupted when they heard Frostor’s announcement over the intercom.  The royal couple had heard the rumor about Luna and Frostor but had assumed it had to be some sort of mistake, or that someone on the Tower’s staff had gotten into TugMug’s alcohol stash and fared worse than they had on it.  Like everyone else, they knew Luna and Frostor to be friends—friends that argued more frequently than Alluro looked in a mirror, but friends nonetheless—but they had not thought that it went beyond that.  There of course had been speculation among those that knew the pair best that it was possible, but it had never been confirmed, at least until that moment.

 

“Oh my,” Selene gasped, setting down the paper and looking over at her husband with a bewildered look. 

 

“I didn’t think he was that drunk,” Psiarik remarked as he met his wife’s gaze, which shifted to a distinctly sharp and disapproving look as soon as she heard his words.

 

“Aunt Luna and Frostor must have heard something they did not like if they made an announcement like that,” Selene stated, leaving the warning to her husband to cease and desist any Luna-bashing before it started as non-verbal.

 

Psiarik shrugged, shifting enough so that his bibit made a small noise of displeasure at being disturbed.  Absently he pushed it off onto the cushion, whereupon it made a noise similar to something along the lines of what Luna herself did when she did not get her way, only quieter.  “You know how the staff can get.  Maybe Frostor just said that to set the record straight so they couldn’t make anything else up or embellish it too much.”

 

Selene nodded thoughtfully.  “That’s true.  It just wouldn’t do for gossip to be spread about a respected member of the family like my Aunt Luna involved in such, well, risqué behavior.”

 

“It wouldn’t do much for my lunch to picture it,” Psiarik muttered under his breath.

 

The Lunar Queen’s eyes narrowed at her husband again when she heard the mumbling but not quite all of the words.  “What?”

 

“Nothing,” the psi replied automatically.  “I was just saying that I think Luna’s reputation will be fine.  Now Frostor’s on the other hand—”

 

“We really should say something to them,” Selene said, fortunately distracted enough to not really notice that barb at her elder relation.  “If they do have a relationship, they don’t need to keep it behind closed doors.  It only invites inappropriate talk of scandals and such.  Besides,” she added with a slight smile, “we’d all be happy for them, right?”

 

It occurred to Psiarik that if Luna seeing Frostor meant that Luna would bitch less at them, he could say quite assuredly for himself and fairly confidently for his father and Chilla as well that they would be very happy, but he had the feeling that would not go over to well, so he simply nodded. 

 

Pleased to see that her husband was in agreement Selene continued.  “We’ll mention it at dinner then,” she decided, setting her report down, the tedious paperwork now forgotten in favor of something much more interesting to the Lunar Queen.  “Hmm, perhaps I should have the staff prepare a little something in their honor to celebrate.  And of course, set their places together, so it’ll be an evening for them to remember.”

 

* * *

 

Chilla was in the midst of listening to Erissa tell her all about her new paintball carbine from Uncle TugMug that she had been given the night before and was about to tell Erissa who she was and was not permitted to shoot at with it when Frostor’s announcement interrupted them.  Naturally much of the announcement went straight over the child’s head, and the girl frowned as she tried to figure out what Frostor was talking about.  She looked up at her mother with a questioning look.  “Mommy, why’s Frostor mad that he took Aunt Luna to bed?  Did he forget to tuck her in?”

 

More than slightly disturbed by the Governor General’s apparent loss of his sanity, Chilla did her best to banish the horrible mental images and looked to her confused and innocent child with a slight bit of jealousy.  “I’m sure spending a night with Aunt Luna would be enough to make anyone mad, in both senses of the word,” she said to the girl, and then decided that a subject change would be best, not so much out of propriety but out of a sense of self-preservation for her own sanity.   “Now why don’t you show me how well you can hit a target with your new toy?”

 

* * *

 

About two hours after the announcement that only served to strengthen the rumors, Frostor made his way to the dining room where the royals’ dinner would soon be served.  On the way he caught more than a few looks from the staff he passed in the halls, expressions ranging from oddly curious to sympathetic horror, but fortunately for them they were all wise enough to keep any comments to themselves.

 

When the Governor General arrived he saw that Selene and Psiarik were already present, as were Alluro and Chilla and even the visiting TugMug.  Luna mercifully was not.  Selene smiled brightly at Frostor as he approached his usual seat, while Psiarik’s expression read more along the lines of “what in the name of the gods were you thinking?”  Alluro’s outwardly pleasant smile was betrayed by the gleam of cruel mischief in his eyes, while Chilla and TugMug both eyed the ice man as though he had lost his mind entirely.

 

As he took his seat Frostor immediately noticed a bottle of expensive wine and a second one of the finest quality Plundarrian whiskey set between his and the empty setting beside him—Luna’s of course, as it was where she always sat and it had an empty place setting clearly for Amok on the opposite side of it.  “I would have thought we had enough alcohol last night to last at least a week,” Frostor remarked as he glanced at the bottles, his tone mildly suspicious.

 

Selene’s smile broadened.  “I had the staff bring them up since we were celebrating tonight,” she told him.  “The wine is Aunt Luna’s favorite and Alluro said that was the best brand of Plundarrian whiskey available.”

 

TugMug glanced from the bottles to Frostor.  “Painful a suggestion as this is for a self-respecting graviton like me to make, Frostor, if that’s what happens when you drink, maybe you ought to consider sobriety as a lifestyle change.”

 

Frostor drew in breath to ice the visiting graviton out of instinct while Selene drew it to reprimand TugMug, but before either of them could get it out, Luna came in with Amok.  The elder lunar woman glanced at the assembled crowd and saw her place setting beside the clearly annoyed Frostor and sighed.  “Wonderful,” she muttered in obvious irritation.

 

“That’s what we think every time you come into the room,” Alluro quipped without breaking the falsely pleasant smile on his face. 

 

At his father’s statement, Psiarik failed at fully stifling his snicker of amusement, and it came out as an undignified snort, which in turn caused his wife to shift her stern look of disapproval from TugMug to her husband and father-in-law for a moment before waving the two newest arrivals to sit down.  “Dinner should be served in a few minutes, Aunt Luna.  I had them make a favorite of yours and Frostor’s this evening.”

 

Frostor eyed Selene with a slight feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach.  “Why?”

 

“Because we’re celebrating!” she repeated cheerfully. 

 

Luna had just poured herself a glass of wine and was about to taste it when she peered over her glasses at her younger relation with similar sentiment as the icewalker seated beside her.  “Why?”

 

Selene grinned.  “Don’t be silly, Aunt Luna.  You and Frostor don’t need to keep up any charade for our sakes.  We’re all adults here, and we’re very happy for the two of you.”

 

The dinner roll Frostor had just picked up was instantly turned to toast.  “What?”

 

Psiarik raised an eyebrow.  “Come on Frostor, your announcement pretty much said it all.”

 

“Too much is more like it, but whatever frosts your glass, I guess,” Chilla remarked with a shrug.

 

“My announcement stated the truth, to set the rumors straight,” Frostor stated icily, not at all pleased that his prediction that no one would be foolish enough to take his words the wrong way had been proven as inaccurate as Vultureman’s claim that only thirty percent of his inventions exploded.

 

“Right,” Selene said with a smile and a nod.  “And since you two are both so close to us, we wanted to do something nice for you both tonight.  Enjoy the drinks.  The staff is preparing your favorite dishes for dinner right now.  I just can’t say how happy I am for you both.  You really deserve each other.”

 

TugMug, sitting on one side of Chilla, nudged her with a curious look on his face.  “I thought you guys liked Frostor?  Does he deserve that?” he whispered.

 

Chilla only shook her head silently, feeling an uncharacteristic pang of sympathy for the other icewalker.

 

“I do not deserve him!” Luna countered, her voice rising to a shrill shriek of indignation.

 

“No, you deserve a gag,” Frostor muttered grouchily, casting his glare briefly at the lunar woman beside him.

 

Luna turned sharply and glared at him.  “Oh, be quiet.  I’m not speaking to you anyway.”

 

“Trouble in paradise?” Alluro asked with a smirk.

 

The scowl on Luna’s face deepened as she turned her attention to the hypnotist.  “I’m not even dignifying you with an answer.”

 

“There is no trouble in paradise, because there is nothing going on,” Frostor said in a low tone with a pointed and cold look at the psi.  “As I told you earlier.”

 

Alluro leaned over, interlacing his fingers together.  “Actually, Frostor, you said nothing of the sort.  You said it was a secret affair.”

 

“I most certainly did not.  That was your assumption,” the Governor General said, his features darkening to a scowl that rivaled the one the one of the lunar woman beside him.

 

“But you didn’t deny it,” Alluro countered innocently.

 

“Well of course it’s not a secret after that announcement,” Psiarik cut in with a shrug as the staff came in to serve them their meals.  

 

“Oh yes, congratulations and may the both of you be very happy together,” the attendant serving Luna and Frostor’s plates echoed helpfully as they set the dishes down.

 

Luna and Frostor both glared at the well-meaning servant, but she was already back at the cart before they could say anything.  Frostor picked up the whiskey and poured a generous amount into the crystal glass in front of him.  “I said I didn’t sleep with her,” he snarled grouchily at Psiarik.  “How much clearer could I be?”

 

“I told you that announcement was a bad idea,” Luna snapped suddenly at the ice general.  “Look at the mess you’ve caused!”

 

“Firstly, I thought you weren’t speaking to me,” Frostor retorted irritably at the lunar woman.  “Secondly, the mess I caused?  I think not!”

 

“Who stayed in my room until four in the morning?” Luna shrieked back.

 

“Who bitched at me until it literally put me to sleep?” the angry icewalker countered.

 

“Oh man, I can relate to that one.  She bored the shit out of us when she went on back on Skytomb too,” TugMug chimed in.  Chilla and Alluro both nodded in silent agreement.

 

Luna was too furious at Frostor to pay TugMug any attention.  “Bitched at you?” she screeched in outrage.  “Well maybe if you weren’t so slow about getting me what I needed—”

 

Psiarik stood up with a horrified expression on his face and cut her off, fearful of what terrible visualization her words might inspire if left unchecked.  “All right, I think Luna and Frostor need some time alone to work things out.”

 

“I agree,” Chilla said abruptly, standing along with her stepson.

 

Selene nodded in agreement and offered the two arguing Lunatacs an encouraging smile as she too got up to leave.  “Don’t worry.  Couples that can have healthy arguments are more likely to stay together anyway, and you two always seem to work things out,” she said as she set her napkin down and started for the door.  Before Luna or Frostor could get a word in edgewise, the room was cleared except for the two of them.  Even Amok had followed Selene out, having followed enough of the conversation to believe that as Selene implied, Luna wished to be left alone with Frostor.

 

“Now look what you’ve done,” Luna snapped.  “I’m trapped in the dining room with you.”

 

“Well if nothing else, at least Hell has good food then,” Frostor retorted, and stabbed his steak angrily with a fork in sullen defeat.

 

* * *

 

By the end of the night nothing had improved for Luna and Frostor.  Most of their dinner had been spent trading insults and blame, and when Amok finally returned to retrieve his mistress and take her to her room, both the lunar woman and the icewalker were relieved, as after what had happened the night before Frostor was certainly not going to make the mistake of going anywhere near Luna’s quarters a second time.

 

The following morning the Governor General decided to try to avoid a repeat of the previous night entirely and got up early to head to breakfast before the royals were up and about.  Unfortunately for Frostor, Luna had the same idea and it was she and Amok who he encountered first thing in the morning.

 

“I couldn’t have timed this worse if I tried,” Frostor muttered as he came into the room, shaking his head.

 

“And a ‘good morning’ to you too,” Luna greeted him sarcastically.

 

“Oh, are we speaking today, Luna?” Frostor replied, arching an eyebrow.  “These days I can’t be too sure.”

 

Amok stood and looked from his mistress to the icewalker.  “Luna and Frostor huggie?”

 

Luna let out an indignant squawk.  “I think not!”

 

“And I know not,” Frostor huffed just as quickly.

 

“This is intolerable,” Luna lamented.  “Even Amok believes this nonsense about you and me now.”

 

The ice general helped himself to one of the circular frosted pastries on the table and sat at one of the settings with a tired sigh.  “So I’m aware.”  He shook his head.  “But the question is, what do we do about it, Luna?” he asked, his tone growing serious and losing some of its antagonistic edge.  “Nothing including the facts will stop them.”

 

“I don’t know,” the equally frustrated Luna replied.  “And they’re all so happy about it!  It’s like they’re enjoying making our lives miserable.  Especially Alluro,” she added with a scowl.  “Did you see that smug look on his arrogant face?”

 

“I’d have iced it off him myself if Selene wouldn’t have had a fit about it,” the Governor General replied with a nod.  “But I think she and Psiarik are actually happy for us in their misguided ignorance.  If I wasn’t so cynical I’d believe that Alluro and the others were at least in part too.”

 

“Hah,” Luna said, swirling the remains of the tea in her cup.  “I know him too well.”

 

Frostor drummed his fingers against the edge of the table restlessly.  “Regardless of their intentions, it’s still interfering with both of our lives, especially if we’re both resorting to catching our meals on the sly to avoid them.  We have to do something about it.”

 

Luna nodded.  “For once, I agree with you completely.  But what?  I’ve told them nothing’s going on between us until I’m bluer in the face than you and it’s done no good so far.”

 

“Hmmm,” the icewalker said thoughtfully as he mulled over the situation, and then a possible solution occurred to him.  “We could stage a break-up.  They seem to take and twist whatever it is we say in public and use it against us anyway, so theoretically if we chose our words well enough we could at least convince them that if a relationship existed, it does not any longer.  The gossip would eventually stop as there would be no more denials from us to fuel it and they’d find something else to talk about.”

 

Luna laughed bitterly.  “So the one who believed ‘the truth shall set us free’ is now advocating lying by staging a melodrama?”

 

“Luna, I’m in favor of doing whatever it takes to lay this ridiculousness to rest.  If that means lying like a rug, then so be it.  Besides, I work for the government.  Manipulating the truth to my advantage is nothing new to me even if it’s a power I choose not to exercise except in extreme circumstance.”

 

A devious smile tugged at the corner of Luna’s features.  “You know, this sounds more like a plan I would come up with.  Either you’re reaching your wit’s end or we’ve been spending too much time together lately and I’ve become an influence on you.”

 

Frostor let out a snort of amusement despite himself.  “I think it’s both, Luna, and frankly it frightens me.”

 

“All right then,” Luna said, becoming serious again, “if we were to stage this breakup, where and when would we do it?  I need to be able to rehearse my speech where I dump you for the best effect.”

 

“Wait a minute,” Frostor said, narrowing his eyes.  “You want to dump me, Luna?  No one would believe that.  I think it would be more credible if I were to be the one to… end things, as it were.”

 

The lunar woman’s features twisted into a scowl.  “What is that supposed to mean?” she exclaimed in outrage. 

 

“What I mean,” the icewalker replied coolly, “is that you’re already known for being difficult, and no one would have any trouble believing that I wouldn’t put up with it.”

 

“Excuse me?” Luna shrieked furiously.  “Difficult?  What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I mean that you can be a royal pain in the ass as everyone in the Tower including myself is very well aware of,” Frostor retorted.  “But I was trying to be polite.”

 

Luna grabbed the spare riding crop off of her belt—as Frostor still had the one she usually used in his room from when he had confiscated it at tea time the day before—and pointed it at him angrily.  “Polite?  Hah!  You wouldn’t begin to know the meaning of the word, which is exactly why no one would believe that I would put up with your nonsense long enough to wait for you to get around to ending our relationship, and precisely why I should dump you!” she hollered.  “Besides, you already humiliated me once with this mess by letting them think you could use me and walk out in the middle of the night!  I should at the very least have the pleasure of returning the favor!”

 

Frostor exhaled an irritated icy mist onto the table linens and glared at Luna.  “All right, Luna, fine, dump me if it’ll make you feel better,” he snapped.  “But we’d better do something about it, and soon, because if we don’t, before long they’ll be expecting me to ask you to marry me.”

 

Unbeknownst to both Frostor and Luna, their conversation had been going on long enough that it was no longer quite so early and Selene had already risen.  The Lunar Queen had just finished getting dressed and was just within earshot when she heard the very tail end of Frostor’s statement, and the first word of Luna’s reply.

 

“Yes—” Luna began to argue back in an equally heated tone, but she was cut off by an excited squeal from her younger relation, who had just walked in and jumped to a completely wrong conclusion, mistaking the anger in Luna’s tone for mere excitement.

 

“Oh, I’m so happy!” Selene shrieked in obvious elation, beaming as though someone had just given her a million credits.  “You two are going to get married!”

 

Both Luna and Frostor whirled around in shock when they heard Selene’s outburst, and as the implications of the conclusion the Lunar Queen had just jumped to began to register, their expressions shifted from anger at one another to horrified panic.  Luna held up her hands in wild protest.  “No, Selene—”

 

The blue tone to Frostor’s skin paled considerably.  “You misunderst—”

 

Oblivious to the words the surprised pair of Lunatacs were in the midst of attempting to utter, the excited Selene ran up to Luna and threw her arms around her older relation in a jubilant hug.  “This is so wonderful,” she gushed.  “You two will have a perfect wedding, I just know it!”

 

“We won’t,” Frostor argued gruffly as Selene released the shell-shocked Luna to give him an equally affectionate hug. 

 

“Sure you will,” Selene said brightly.  “Don’t you two worry about a thing!  I know how stressful weddings can be so I’ll have all the announcements taken care of and notify the staff and the rest of the family immediately.  We can have your engagement party tomorrow night!”

 

“No!” Luna blurted in horror.  “Don’t tell the staff!”

 

“No party, please,” Frostor added, practically pleading.

 

Selene brushed off their concerns with a dismissive wave and a smile.  “Oh no, I insist, and I won’t hear a word otherwise,” she informed them.  “You two have enough on your minds and this is the least I can do.  I’m so happy—Frostor, you’ve always been like family to Psiarik and I and once you marry Aunt Luna you will be officially, too!  I’m going to go find Psiarik and tell him now, and Alluro and Chilla and the kids,” she babbled happily, and hurried for the door.  Before Luna or Frostor could get out another word, Selene was gone.

 

“Oh no,” Frostor groaned, glancing at Luna, who wore an equally dejected expression as he did.

 

“This is a disaster,” Luna lamented, clutching her crop in despair.  “What do we do?”

 

“Huggie?” Amok suggested helpfully from his chair, where he was finishing his sixteenth circular frosted pastry.

 

“No boy, at this point I think that would only make things worse,” Luna said with a sigh.

 

Frostor shook his head and added to it with a sigh of his own when he heard Selene’s shrill lunar voice proclaiming how wonderful it was that Luna and Frostor were to be married to one of the morning cleaning staff as she passed them in the hall several doors down.  “Can it get any worse?”

 

Luna motioned for Amok to pick her up.  As the brute came over and set Luna upon his back, the lunar woman frowned at Frostor.  “This is all your fault, you know!”

 

“Me?” the frustrated icewalker repeated incredulously.  “I’m not the one who said ‘yes’!”

 

“I did not say ‘yes’,” Luna retorted in an indignant huff.

 

“And I didn’t propose, but that didn’t seem to stop Selene,” the Governor General hissed back, a thick frost on his breath.

 

“We have to do something,” Luna said determinedly, and prodded Amok to start for the door.

 

Frostor nodded in agreement.  “Before it’s too late for the both of us.”

 

The End… for now.

 

 

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