* * *

The Power is Mine!

Part 2: Sailor Moon vs. The Ever-Living

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A WEIRD Story by:

Casca (The Soldier of Fortune)

* * *

It was a typically dull day in the small city of Tokyo. Ever since Sailor Moon and her Sailor Scouts had defeated Queen Beryl and the Negaverse, there was no more supernatural evil in Japan, and hence, no more need for the Scouts, leaving them in a state of perpetual boredom. Now, Serena (AKA Sailor Moon) sits in her kitchen, raiding the refrigerator of its food.

Serena sighed as she took a huge bite out of her bologna, tuna, mayonnaise, cheese, and jelly sandwich. "You know, Luna, I’m really bored." She said, spitting wet chunks of bread all over the black cat that was sitting on the table next to her.

The black cat gagged in disgust as she shook the damp crumbs out of her ebony fur. "Dammit, Serena!" The cat exclaimed. "What have I told you about talking with your mouth full?!"

Serena swallowed and wiped her mouth. "Weren’t you listening to me, Luna?!" She screeched as she threw her arms up like a spoiled child. "I’m dying of dullness over here!"

Luna became huffy at Serena’s words. "Well, don’t complain to ME about it! You and your friends have done your duty as the Sailor Scouts, now you all must go on with your everyday lives."

"Oh, come ON!" There has to be SOME sort of evil left in the world!"

The cat shook her head. "Not that I know of. You’ve pretty much vanquished the last bit of evil in the world when you brought that jaywalker to justice last week."

"But he didn’t even fight back, even after I clobbered him with my tiara!" Serena frowned as she ate, almost inhaled, the last of her sandwich. "Okay, if there are no more villains on Earth, then what about another dimension? I mean, you can find LOTS of evildoers when you search the space-time continuum!"

"SERENA!" Luna gasped. "Perish the thought! Don’t you remember what happened LAST time when we used interdimensional travel?"

All of a sudden, Serena jumped on top of the table and began to pout. "I wanna go to another dimension to fight evil! I WANNA! I WANNA! I WANNA!"

Luna growled in frustration. "All right. ALL RIGHT! I’ll have Artemis get to work on it! Anything to stop your whining!"

Squealing in delight, Serena jumped off the table and squeezed Luna. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll call the others right away!" Dropping the cat to the floor, Serena raced to the phone.

Luna painfully got up and shook the stars from her head. "Little brat." She muttered under her breath.

* * *

Third Earth at the Black Pyramid

"Get the hell out of my Pyramid, Lion-Ho!" Mumm-Ra shouted as he tossed the naked lion into the dirt. "And take your balding Lunatac boyfriend with you!" Alluro screamed as he crashed to the ground right next to Lion-O.

"But, Mummsies!" Lion-O pleaded as he got up. "You promised us a special night!"

Mumm-Ra shook his fist at the bare duo, followed by a very obscene gesture. "I didn’t promise SHIT, you sluts!" With that, the ever-living walked back into his pyramid and slammed the not-so-secret passage shut.

Alluro reached up and tugged on Lion-O’s arm. "Come on, Lion-O. We’re not wanted around here!"

Lion-O pulled his arm away from Alluro. "No way, Al! We came all the way here for a good time and I’m going to make sure we get it!"

Alluro rolled his eyes. "So what are you going to fight him with, huh? Your hardon, perhaps?" He said sarcastically, pointing at Lion-O’s stiff tool. "Don’t you remember? You left the Sword of Omens back at Cats’ Lair because you were afraid that it would offend Mumm-Ra."

Lion-O slapped himself on the head. "Doh! I guess that was an error on my part."

Alluro got to his feet and dusted himself off. "Come on, Lion-O, let’s go back to Skytomb."

Lion-O frowned, defeated and disappointed. "*SIGH*, Okay Al." Taking Alluro’s hand, they walked away from the Black Pyramid.

* * *

Mumm-Ra took in a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the huge, bubbling cauldron. Ma-Mutt quickly came to his side. "First Slythe and Jackalman proposition me, and now THOSE two. Oh, Ma-Mutt, why must they always torment me?" Mumm-Ra scratched Ma-Mutt on the head and sighed. "What ELSE can go wrong on this miserable day?"

* * *

Tokyo, Earth

Serena had gathered Rae, Lita, Darian, Mina, Amy, Taylor, and Reeny to the secret hideout in the local arcade. The two cats, Luna and Artemis, were busily scanning all the known dimensions for the roughest, toughest, and meanest villain to pit the Scouts against.

"Oh boy, I can’t wait!" Serena said excitedly.

Darian frowned and put his hands in his pockets. "Refresh my memory. How EXACTLY did you guys convince ME to come along?"

Serena rubbed herself against Darian suggestively. "It’s because you’ll do anything for me, sweetheart!"

Darian gagged and pulled himself away from Serena. "As if! I don’t even LIKE you, meatball head!"

Serena giggled and punched him in the shoulder playfully. "Oh, Darian, you were always such a kidder!" She then cuddled up to Darian again, producing an audible groan from him.

Meanwhile, Amy leaned against the wall, flipping through her textbook on Quantum Physics. "I sure hope that this fight you’re talking about won’t be too taxing, Serena. I have a test tomorrow, and if I don’t study, I might get an A-!"

"Hey, listen to Miss Brains over here!" Taylor laughed as he approached her. "So how about that date we were talking about earlier, Amy?"

"Get real, loser." Amy answered, not even looking up from her book.

"I love a girl with a sense of humor!" Taylor snickered and put his hand on Amy’s shoulder, which quickly prompted her to plant her foot into his shin. "OUCH!"

In a corner of the arcade away from the group, Rae was kneeling on a silk pillow and holding a Zippo lighter in front of her. She opened the lighter and began to mutter strange, incoherent words.

Worriedly, Mina approached Rae. "Ummm . . . Rae?" Mina tapped Rae on the shoulder to get her attention. "Rae, are you all right?"

"SHHHH!" Rae hissed. "You’ll offend the Fire!"

"Oh my God! Are you trying to contact those damn Fire Spirits again?!" Mina said as she rolled her eyes. "How many times do we have to tell you that they don’t exist?!"

Rae held up her hand. "Silence girl! My aura consciousness is on the verge of harmonious balance! I might finally be able to make contact with the Fire."

Mina shook her head in frustration. "You’re hopeless, Rae!"

Elsewhere in the building, Lita was practicing her karate skills while little Reeny watched her.

"Whatcha doin?" Reeny asked in her annoying preschool voice.

"For the hundredth time, Reeny, I’m sharpening my skills for the fight!" Lita responded as she sloppily punched, kicked, and chopped the air.

Reeny cocked her head. "It don’t look right to me."

Lita stopped her kata and glared at Reeny. "Oh, and what exactly do you mean?"

"I’m jus’ sayin’ that you wouldn’t stand a chance against the baddest meanie of all time with those sucky skills." Reeny answered.

Lita just shook her head and shrugged Reeny off. "Oh, you’re just a six-year-old. What do you know?" With that, she started up her kata again, only to trip over her own feet and land flat on her butt.

Reeny couldn’t help but giggle. "My point exactly."

All of a sudden, the control panel began to ring loudly. Everyone gathered around the machine as Artemis worked to receive its findings.

"Hey, I think we found the right dude for the job!" The white cat said as he brought up a picture on the screen. The photo was that of a tall and muscular blue-skinned figure draped in white mummy bandages. Sitting next to him was a horrifying and tough-looking white and blue bulldog wearing a spiked collar.

"Wow." Luna said, impressed. "Just look at his credentials."

"Major ugly." Mina commented.

"Hey, look! He’s wearing a miniskirt, just like ours!" Reeny giggled.

"He doesn’t look so tough!" Lita said, cracking her knuckles.

Luna was about to contradict Lita’s statement, but she stopped herself. ‘What’s the point?’ The black cat thought. ‘They never listen to me.’

Serena was jumping up and down. "Well, people, are we ready to go?" She asked excitedly.

"Now, Serena, you have to remember that this is one of the most evil entities in existence." Artemis pointed out. "Are you SURE you’re up to this?"

"Yeah, yeah, just send us there, will you?" Serena said impatiently.

Artemis nodded. "Okay, Scouts, Luna and I wish you luck."

"What? Aren’t you coming with us?" Mina asked.

"No offense, but Artemis and I aren’t too fond of getting our asses whipped." Luna stated flatly.

Lita sneered. "Oh, quit your belly aching already! We’ll reduce that mummified creep to moon dust and be back in time for dinner!"

"Mmmmm . . . dinner." Serena drooled. "Well, what are we waiting for? MOON PRISM POWER!" She shouted, but nothing happened. "Wha . . . what the hell?!" Serena looked down to find that her Imperium Crystal broach was missing. Immediately she turned to Reeny and shouted, "God dammit, you shrimpy flamingo-headed thief! Give me back my Crystal before I tan your sorry little bottom!"

Reeny flinched. "I’m sorry, Serena. It’s such a shiny object . . . I just can’t help it!" She then reached into her pocket and produced the Imperium Crystal.

With a sneer, Serena snatched the Crystal away from Reeny and fastened it back to her bosom. "*Ahem* . . . let’s try this again. MOON PRISIM POWER!"

"MERCURY POWER!"

"MARS POWER!"

"VENUS POWER!"

"JUPITER POWER!"

"CHIBI-MOON POWER!"

"GALAXY WARRIOR POWER!"

"TUXEDO MASK POWER!"

At once, all transformed into their respective Scouts.

"All right! Activate that dimensional portal, Artemis, ‘cause we’re goin’ in!" Sailor Moon commanded.

* * *

Back in the Pyramid

Mumm-Ra busily massaged his "Sword of Plunddar" as he gazed into his caldron, watching an image of Chilla and Mandora go at a little lesbian action. He was glad that he could finally get his rocks off without being pestered.

Or would he?

Without warning, there was a bright flash of light, startling Mumm-Ra so badly that he almost fell into the cauldron.

"What the hell?" Mumm-Ra cursed as he leaped to his feet and quickly tucked his manhood away into his bandages. "Ancient Spirits of Evil, Transform this decayed form to MUMM-RA, THE EVER-LIVING!" At his command, his frail body was transformed into the powerful Egyptian sorcerer.

As the light faded, Mumm-Ra saw several mysterious figures standing before him. He noticed that most of the intruders were girls wearing short skirts and tight sailor outfits. "Who DARES disturb Mumm-Ra’s jack-off?!" The demon priest demanded.

"We are the SAILOR SCOUTS!" Serena exclaimed. "I am SAILOR MOON!"

"SAILOR MURCURY!" Amy proclaimed.

"SAILOR MARS!" Rae stated.

"SAILOR VENUS!" Mina shouted.

"SAILOR JUPITER!" Lita wailed.

"SAILOR CHIBI-MOON!" Reeny squealed.

"GALAXY WARRIOR!" Taylor said proudly.

"TUXEDO MASK!" Darian voiced.

"We are the champions of Justice!" Sailor Moon continued. "And on behalf of the Moon, we shall right wrong and triumph over evil!" She then crossed her arms and pointed her finger at Mumm-Ra. "And that means you!"

"I don’t give a FUCK who you are!" Mumm-Ra roared at the group. "Just get the hell out of my pyramid! I’m not in the mood to fight."

"Well, that’s just too bad!" Jupiter said. "Because WE are! HI-YAH!" She then leaped into the air and threw an awkward jump kick at Mumm-Ra, only to be swatted away like a bug. Jupiter screamed as she smashed into the ground face-first.

Angered, the rest of the Scouts simultaneously rushed at Mumm-Ra.

"I don’t have time for this, dammit!" Mumm-Ra shouted as he loosed a bolt of red lightning.

All of the Scouts, including Taylor and Darian, let out high-pitched shrieks as they were all blasted and knocked off their feet.

"There, I’ve beaten you simpletons. Now go away!" Mumm-Ra commanded.

"We’re not done yet, Mr. Meanie!" Chibi-Moon said as she magically produced a large black ball and began to bounce it. "LUNA BALL AWAY!" With that, the little girl tossed the ball toward Mumm-Ra.

Before Mumm-Ra could react, the ebony sphere smashed into his groin and exploded into a shower of multicolored ribbons and confetti. The demon priest yelped and grabbed himself, hopping around in pain. "Pesky . . . little . . ." He squeaked.

Ignoring Mumm-Ra’s words, Sailor Chibi-Moon began to twirl like a little music box dancer, about to follow up with another magical attack. "CHIBI-MOON HEART ATTACK!" Reeny then held out her palm toward Mumm-Ra and blew a kiss, sending a barrage of tiny pink hearts toward her opponent.

Letting out a loud bellow, Mumm-Ra pointed a finger and zapped the oncoming hearts into oblivion just a fraction of a second before they could connect with him. "That’s enough outta you, you little pink-haired brat!" He said, eyes glowing with rage.

Reeny turned around to run away from Mumm-Ra, but he reached out and grabbed her by the back of her costume. With no effort at all, the demon priest hurled the littlest Scout all the way across the room. Sailor Chibi-Moon screamed her last as she was slammed headfirst into one of the ASOE statues, splattering her brains all over the stone figure.

"REENY!" All of the Scouts screamed.

"You see?!" Mumm-Ra said. "Already I’ve killed one of your comrades. If you leave now, I’ll spare the rest of your miserable lives!"

"We’ll never leave until we’ve defeated you!" Sailor Mars shouted back. With that, Rae put her hands together and began to spin around in a 360-degree circle. By extending two of her fingers, a tiny spark of fire appeared. "MARS FIRE IGNITE!" Mars shouted, and the spark was suddenly transformed into a stream of flame that streaked toward Mumm-Ra.

Mumm-Ra easily avoided the fire. "That was pathetic!" He taunted.

"Well now, it looks like more drastic measures are in order!" Rae growled angrily as she whipped out a tarot card and held it to her forehead. Closing her eyes, she clamored, "I call upon the mighty Fire Spirits! Give me the power of MARS FIREBALLS!" Her eyes then shot open and, with a flick of the wrist, she pitched the tarot card at Mumm-Ra.

Mumm-Ra’s eyes crossed as the tarot card landed on his forehead and stuck there like flypaper. At once, the card began to glow with an unnatural energy and Mumm-Ra was engulfed in a wall of fire.

"Oh, yeah!" Rae jumped up and down in celebration. "I beat him!"

"Not quite." Mumm-Ra corrected as he walked unmarred out of Rae’s fire.

Rae’s mouth fell open in disbelief. The last monster that she used her Mars Fireballs Attack on had been reduced to ashes in an instant, and yet this evil being comes out unscathed. What were they up against?

Mumm-Ra smirked at Rae. "Let me show you how it’s done!" The demon priest then held out his hand and shot out a much more impressive inferno.

Rae only had time to gasp before she was fried into a crispy crunch.

"Oh, no!" Tuxedo Mask blubbered. "My one true love is now dead!"

Sailor Moon tapped Tuxedo Mask on the shoulder. "But Darian, honey, I’m still here!"

"You dumb meatball head!" Darian said with rage. "It was RAE I loved, not YOU!"

Serena let out an audible snort-laugh. "Oh Darian, you have the best sense of humor!"

Tuxedo Mask let out an exasperated groan before he turned back to Mumm-Ra. "This one’s for Rae, you stupid asshole!" Tuxedo Mask then opened up his cape and a dozen or so razor-tipped roses flew at Mumm-Ra.

Acting quickly, the demon priest put up a magical barrier and foiled the roses. "Oh, Ma-Mutt!" He called. "I’ll let you take care of this one!"

"Ma-Mutt?" Tuxedo Mask began, but his question was answered once the terrible hound came out of nowhere and barreled into him. "AHHHH!" Darian screamed as Ma-Mutt clamped down on his abdomen with his razor teeth and tore out a mouthful of entrails.

Serena sighed. "I lose more boyfriends that way."

By this time, the rest of the Sailor Scouts were in a bit of a panic.

"Sailor Moon, what do we do?" Venus asked. "I think we’re fighting a losing battle!"

"Oh, calm down, Mina." Sailor Moon said. "He’s just getting in a few lucky hits, that’s all."

Mina’s eyes widened. "A few lucky hits?! Serena, he’s already killed three of our teammates!"

"Three casualties of war. So what? It’s nothing to worry about, really." Sailor Moon answered. "No matter the odds, the Sailor Scouts always come through at the end!"

Amy shrugged. "You guys do what you want to do." She then took out her schoolbook and plopped down in a corner of the Pyramid. "*I* have a test tomorrow!"

Taylor glanced at his precious Amy. NOW was his chance to really impress her (or so he thought). The Galaxy Warrior then turned around to face Mumm-Ra. "All right, Mr. Bandages, you’re going down!"

Mumm-Ra laughed. "Oh, so what are you gonna do? Hit me with your panties? MwHa . . . MwhahahahahahaHA!"

Taylor sneered. "Ohhh, that’s IT!" Galaxy Warrior clenched his fists together and his whole body began to glow a silvery hue. "GALAXY SOUNDWAVES BLARE!" He then trusts out his palms, sending a huge, air-rippling sonic boom hurtling at Mumm-Ra.

The wave of sound sent the demon priest flying all the way across the chamber. He crashed through one of the moldy walls, shattering the ancient, moldy bricks into thousands of pebbles.

"Hey, HEY!" Taylor squealed. "I did it! Now Amy will HAVE to go out with me!"

"Think again, dumbbell." Amy told him from behind her book.

All heads turned as there was a sudden, deafening roar. Mumm-Ra exploded from a pile of bricks, unharmed but quite pissed.

"Looks like you’re in for it now, Taylor." Mercury said calmly as she flipped through a couple pages in her book.

"Not a problem." The Galaxy Warrior then produced a small silver dagger and held it over his head. "SONIC JAVELIN FLY!" At his command, the dagger suddenly elongated and transformed into a six-foot-long spear. With all his might, Taylor launched the javelin, almost falling forward as he did so.

The weapon let out an ear-piercing screech as it cut through the air, homing in on its target. However, Mumm-Ra just casually brought up his hand and snatched Taylor’s javelin out of the air, then brought it down over his knee and bent it into a pretzel. "Toys." He said, tossing Taylor’s now useless weapon to the side. "You fight me with toys."

Galaxy Warrior swallowed hard. "Uhhh . . . I think I’d better be going now." Taylor turned and retreated fast, trying to put as much distance between him and the Demon Priest as possible. But unfortunately for him, Mumm-Ra’s deadly bolts proved to be much faster and cooked him right in his tracks.

Sailor Mercury looked up and shook her head. "The idiot finally did himself in."

Venus shot Amy a menacing glare. "You know, Mercury, we wouldn’t mind a little HELP once and a while!"

"Oh, don’t mind me, Mina." Amy responded, somewhat rolling her eyes. "You guys are doing just fine."

Venus tapped her chin and thought for a moment. "Maybe you’re right, Amy. I just need to be more optimistic!" Mina then turned to Mumm-Ra, pointed her finger up into the air and shouted, "VENUS CRESCENT BEAM SMASH!" She then lowered her hand and a colorful beam of rainbow energy burst forth.

Mumm-Ra muttered a quick spell and absorbed Sailor Venus’s beam. "I tire of this game, Scouts." The Demon Priest said wearily. "Just get out of here before I decide to kill the rest of you."

"You’re just sayin’ that ‘cause you’re afraid we’ll beat you!" Lita chimed in as the little rod on the top of her headdress extended. "JUPITER THUNDER CRASH!" She then threw her arms out to the side and unleashed a not-so-impressive bolt of lightning upon Mumm-Ra.

Mumm-Ra yawned and sidestepped the lightning. "Pitiful." He said in a bland tone. "Just pitiful."

Lita snapped and let out a scream. "I’ll show YOU pitiful, bastard!" Jupiter then balled up her hands and rushed at Mumm-Ra, throwing out a series random and disorderly punches.

Most of Lita’s attacks completely missed Mumm-Ra, and others he just blocked. It wasn’t long before Lita began to pucker out.

"*Huff* I’m . . . not *Puff* . . . through with you yet!" Lita announced, still determined to beat this opponent who was WAY out of her league.

"Come then." Mumm-Ra egged her on. "Hit me with your best shot!"

"AAGGGHHHH!" Lita bellowed as she threw her fist into Mumm-Ra’s washboard abdomen with all her might. There was a series of loud cracking sounds as all of the bones in Jupiter’s hand broke. Lita’s eyes grew wide as she staggered backward, cradling her wounded fist in her other hand.

Mumm-Ra smirked. "You’re right, you did show me ‘pitiful’." At once, he clenched his right hand and threw an uppercut that caught Lita right under her chin.

The next thing anyone knew, Jupiter’s head was strewn all around the immediate area.

Serena stomped her foot. "Ohhh, I think we’re losing!"

Venus turned her head toward Sailor Moon. "What was your first clue, Serena?"

"Just shut the hell up, Mina!" Serena said as she reached up and removed her tiara. "MOON TIARA MAGIC!" With that, Sailor Moon hurled her tiara at the Ever-Living with all of her might.

With a quick motion of his hand, Mumm-Ra batted away the tiara as if it were a mere mosquito. This sent the piece of jewelry rocketing back at Sailor Moon at twice its original power and speed.

"Yikes!" Serena exclaimed as she ducked, just barely avoiding her vengeful diadem. "Ha! You missed me!" Sailor Moon mocked. "Come on, Mina! Let’s finish this guy off!" However, Serena received no answer. "Mina?"

Sailor Moon slowly turned around to find Sailor Venus lying dead on the ground in an ocean of blood; a golden edge of the tiara was sticking out of the socket where Mina’s left eye had once been.

"Well, it looks like it’s just you and me, Amy." Sailor Moon said somberly.

"Nope, you’re on your own." Amy said. "I refuse to be a part of this silly fight any longer."

Angrily, Serena stomped toward Amy and slapped the book away from her hands. "Sailor Mercury, I command you to do as I say!"

Amy jumped to her feet, with murder in her eyes. "You stupid fat pig!" Mercury screamed at her leader. "I need to study, dammit!" She then snatched her Quantum Physics book from the ground and tried in vain to dust it off. "It’s ruined! My book is totally RUINED!" Amy, now foaming at the mouth, threw the book behind her and crouched down into a fighting stance. "You’ll pay, bitch!"

Serena slowly backed away. "Now, Mercury, don’t do something you might regret!"

There was a look of hatred in Amy’s eyes. "Trust me, Serena, I’m NOT going to regret this!" Sailor Mercury then clasped her hands together and shouted, "MERCURY BUBBLES BLAST!"

Sailor Moon screamed in agony as she was pelted by thousands of magical ice bubbles. "You . . . you brainy whore! I’ll show you!" Serena then whipped out her Moon Scepter and pointed it at Amy. "MOON SCEPTER ILLUMINATION!"

Sailor Mercury’s eyes grew wide as she was floored by a blast of cosmic stardust. "Slutty sow! MERCURY ICE WAVE SPLASH!"

Mumm-Ra laughed as he sat down and watched the two Sailor Scouts go at it. "Now THIS is entertaining!" He said with an evil grin.

* * *

Back on Earth at the Command Center

The Power Rangers teleported into the Command Center after their victory over Rita Repulsa’s latest monster: the evil Ying-Yang two headed Whiddaw-Quest monster.

"Man, that fight was pathetic!" Zack complained as he ripped off his ebony helmet.

"You’re right, Zack. Rita just isn’t trying anymore." Trini agreed.

"Well, *I* thought he was tough!" Little Justin exclaimed.

"You got knocked out in the first 15 seconds of the fight, Justin." Kimberly said to the 12-year-old protégé.

"Yeah, well, he hit me with his ‘Flamer Breath’. I didn’t have time to react!" Justin defended himself.

"Justin, if I may contradict, that particular attack was traveling at an estimated speed of 2 inches per hour." Billy said as he straightened out his glasses.

"Yeah, Justin. How could you have NOT avoided it?" Kimberly laughed.

Justin crossed his arms and turned away.

Jason sighed in boredom. "Man, this sucks! What kind of cheap-ass clay is Finster using to make these monsters anyway? PLAY-DOH perhaps?"

"I agree. Out of this new batch of weak monsters, that Whiddaw-Quest creature has been the lamest so far." Trini crossed her arms. "It’s hard to imagine monsters getting any more pitiful than that."

Zordon pondered over his Rangers’ problem. "I think I have a solution to your monotony." The giant head said. "Rangers, behold the viewing globe."

All six Rangers turned around to the giant glass sphere. At once, an image of a group of the most hideous monsters that they had ever seen appeared.

"They call themselves the ‘Lunatacs’." Zordon explained. "They should provide quite a challenge for you."

* * *

Will the Power Rangers succeed where the Planeteers and the Sailor Scouts have failed? Probably not, but find out next time on the next installment of THE POWER IS MINE!!