Thoughts
By Black Eagle
I sit, on a
tree limb. The tree limb I always sit on. I don’t know why. Something
about it…..
It makes me
feel safe, somehow. Like him….
Tygra…..
No! Forget
about Tygra. He is a Thundercat, the enemy.
But do I love
him?
How could I?
He is the enemy! That much is clear.
Tygra…..
Why does he
keep preying on my mind?! He is a Thundercat,
one of the destroyers of my people!
You know that’s not true.
Shut up. I
don’t need to listen to this.
You love him.
No! I don’t love
him! I never have loved him, I never will.
Stop lying to yourself.
Tygra is the
enemy! I cannot love him! I will not love him! I don’t love him!
The wind
blows. It’s cold….so cold. I wrap my cloak tightly
around myself for warmth.
Warmth…..
Like his arms
wrapping around me….
Warmth…..
His arms, pulling me towards
him….
Warmth…..
His face,
bending down to kiss me…..
No! No, no,
no, no!
You love him. You know that.
Stop that! I
don’t love him!
You love him….
No!
You love him….
No! I don’t love
him, he is a Thundercat, a Tiger….No!
What does being a Tiger have to do
with anything?
I am a Black Leopard, we don’t marry out of our race.
You are the only Black Leopard, the only Leopard of any kind, on this planet, perhaps in all the galaxy.
Why should I
care? Love means nothing to me.
Pardak would say differently. And Vision.
Pardak….. Vision….. They’re both dead, and it’s my fault….I could have saved them……
Is that why you
keep saying you don’t love Tygra? Because you don’t want him
to get hurt, or killed?
I don’t love
Tygra. Do you hear me, I don’t love Tygra!
Give it up, Leona. It’s obvious you love him. Everyone knows it but you. So why don’t you admit it, hmm?
Shut up.
Just…..shut up. It doesn’t make any sense to love him. I could kill him, you
know.
You could. But you won’t. You can’t. Because you love him.
For the last
time, I don’t love him! I should march over to Cats Lair right now and slice
his throat!
The last time you tried to break into Cats Lair you got caught and ended up in a coma.
I’ll be more
careful this time. I won’t get caught.
You love him, Leona….
We’re back to that, hmm? No!
You love him, Leona….
I shake my
head. I don’t love him….do I?
That’s right. You love him.
No! No, I
don’t love him. If I have any emotions right now, they are anger and hatred!
And fear. You forgot fear.
Fear? Of what? I’m not afraid.
You’re more afraid than you know. Afraid that you’ll hurt Tygra somehow.
No!
No!
No! No….Fine, yes. Leo died. Pardak died. But I
couldn’t have prevented that. I tried! I did! A tear trickles down my cheek,
and I wipe it away.
Go to him, Leona. But don’t slice his
throat.
I
will stay right here! I have been on my own for almost half my life, and I will
be fine for the rest of it!
You would accept Pardak if he was here.
Well….yes.
But Pardak is dead.
Leona. You. Love. Him.
Yes,
I love Pardak. And I miss him. He’s dead, and I’ve accepted that fact. But I
will always love him.
Tygra. You love Tygra.
No!
I don’t love Tygra! Tygra could drop dead right now, and I couldn’t care less!
One word: Denial.
I
sigh. Mental battles will get me nowhere. Maybe I should get some sleep… But
after the past week, I’m not sure I want to.
Relax. Cassiopeia is out of
commission. So is
Yes….
Tygra……
No!
Don’t think about Tygra. Why is it I feel this way?
This—this
love, it’s unreasonable. Some abide by reason, I‘m not one of them, but
still…why is it this way? That I fall for an enemy?
That’s not important. Think about it in the
morning.
For
once, my subconscious is correct. Sleep….
I
slip off the branch and begin walking towards my small home. I go inside, and
settle down on my bed. As I close my eyes, an old Thunderan saying pops into my
head.
The Heart has reasons which Reason does not
know.
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