Disclaimer for my disclaimer: Any similarity to any other disclaimer that may appear on another site is purely coincidental, accidental, or otherwise not my fault. Besides, if you're egotistical enough to think that I'd steal your disclaimer and can't figure out that this is a spoof of some of the more uptight disclaimers I've seen on the 'net, then you've got some serious issues that are better taken up with a shrink than with me, don't ya think?*
We all know that I don't own Thundercats, because if I did, I would be really rich and I wouldn't be QC'ing preclinical drug safety study notebooks for a living. But since I went through the effort of capturing, scanning, photographing, etc. these images and they are all original to my site except where noted, you may not take them in any way, shape, or form, without asking. I mean it! I don't care how much they suck (I know, I know the old scans in the Inquirer need a revamp!) they are MINE MINE MINE and I'm gonna hold my breath and stomp my feet and throw a general hissy fit if you steal my hard earned pictures without my divine word in written, recorded, or emailed form. In fact, you'd better have it notarized before I'll believe it! After all, I'm so wonderful, you know you want to steal from me, so don't even think about it!
And as for any of the music videos, sounds, desktop themes, scans of toys and comics, AVIs, fanfics, fan art, logs, backgrounds, color schemes, or even the font I use, you may absolutely not use it. After all, this is creative genius you're mocking in your inferior attempts to duplicate, damn it! So don't even bother to ask, because I already know you're not worthy!
However, since I am a reasonable person and I know the incredible quality of everything on my site makes you seethe with jealousy at it's sheer greatness, I will condescend to allow you one and exactly one file of your choice, provided it's not in the 99% of the images and files that I have already deemed unworthy of your sad little attempt at a site and it conforms to the following conditions:
1) There must be no offensive material on your site. That's because I want to hoard all the offensive material on mine, and I can be a bigger jerk than you.
2) No originality or creativity allowed on your site either. I will not allow my files on sites that someone else might actually visit, because that takes traffic away from ME!
3) You must put a huge, blinking, boldface 72-point font link to my site right next to the file you borrow so everyone knows exactly where it comes from and thank me in five sentences or more for my generosity.
If you satisfy those conditions and you have picked out the file to request, you can send me an email with the subject "Mere mortal humbly requests picture" to me at Cheeezey@yahoo.com. However, I'm not promising that I'll actually say yes. After all I know how sneaky some of you picture thieves can be and I'm going to run a complete background and credit check on you before I grant any permission whatsoever. If I find out that you are breaking my rules not only will I write a scathing letter to your ISP, your webspace provider, the FBI, and even the Space Police, but I will also send Whiddaw's secret spy service, whom I hired with extra funds from the Inquirer, to make your life a living Hell. So don't even think about it! And if you see anyone on the internet stealing my pictures, it is your divine duty to report them to me so they can be dealt with! If I find out you knew and didn't tell me, you are subject to the same penalties as the slime sucking theif, got that?!
Thank you. I knew you'd understand.
-Cheez
*All joking aside, if you're serious about borrowing images, all I ever ask are the following two things:
1- Ask me on email, IM, or just give credit if you can't catch me. Unless of course you're one of my friends, then go right ahead. You know who you are. Credit doesn't have to be a huge ego-feeding shrine (although my ego surely swells from such praise!), just a little, "pictures donated by Cheezey" or something like that somewhere on your site is cool.
2- Don't hotlink. That means you take the pictures you need and put them on your own webspace, rather than direct linking to the pictures on my webspace. Hotlinking eats up my bandwidth, which when exceeded costs me either money to get more from my hosting provider, or downtime if my site exceeds it and goes dark. Hotlinking is not cool, and I am not above putting unflattering, disgusting, rude, obnoxious, or otherwise unsavory pictures up in place of the ones linked to when I find out someone has hotlinked to me.
That's all. I've yet to say "no" to anyone who's asked to use a file and treated me with respect. Those who don't treat me with respect get to deal with my Inner Luna, and that's not a pretty sight!
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