"Give up, web surfer! You cannot resist! You will read Cheezey's quotes page. Every last one of them! You will do as I command! You don't stand a chance against my power!"
"Give up, web surfer! You cannot resist! You will read Cheezey's quotes page.
Every last one of them! You will do as I command! You don't stand a chance
against my power!"
"Yeah, what he said. And if you don't obey, I'll send my attack squid after
you!"
These are gems of wisdom, funny things, or stuff that just plain stuck in my head. They've been collected from various sources, many of which I have seen or found elsewhere on the net. Many were also kindly donated to me from PumMyra. For some odd reason, I seem to have a lot of quotes from villians or, at the very least, unsavory characters, from these places. Don't ask me why, maybe it appeals to my "dark side" or something, or maybe villians just get the coolest lines. Most of the soap things come from the pearls of wisdom section in Soap Opera Central, and some of the others are just things I saw in various other places. None of these are meant to infringe on anyone's copyrights or anything, so please don't freak out about my collection. I am not claiming any right or ownership to any of these, I just thought they were cool. Now that that's been said, on with the quotes!
Due to volume, I've set up this handy guide that organizes them by
category:
Soap Operas
Star Trek
DarkWing Duck
Ghostbusters
The X-Files
Forever Knight
Thundercats
Batman
Jem
Miscellaneous (see below)
"Oh no we're not making the same mistakes, we're making all new ones."
--Jeff Goldblum's character in The Lost World Jurassic Park
"Lick me! Lick me! Ohh is this cool or what?"
--Linda Blair as the possession victim in Repossessed
"Next? I'm going to take a wrestler by his throat, suck out his eyeballs
and SPIT 'em down his throat!"
--Linda Blair as the possession victim in Repossessed
"Hello 9-1-1? This is the Devil. I am being driven back to Hell by loud music.
Could you...? Hello...?"
--Linda Blair as the possession victim in Repossessed
"Woah it's Daria. Diarhea cha-cha-cha Dairhea cha-cha-cha"
--Beavis and Butthead making fun of Daria
"Well I'm your Vitafattyvidgeafite girl. Are you tired run down liss liss?
Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well are you?"
--Lucy does a TV commercial, I Love Lucy
"I solemnly swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth
which is more than someone else in this room did so help me."
--Ethel Mertz, I Love Lucy, "The Courtroom"
"It's party time! P-A-R-T--Y? Because I gotta!"
--Jim Carrey as the Mask in The Mask!
"It's mine you hear? Mine ALL MINE Get back in there. Down Down Down! Go
Go Go! MINE MINE MINE!!!"
--Daffy Duck, 1001 Rabbit Tales
"All right, all right, what's holding up the works? What's all the... the...
AHHHHHHH!!!"
--Daffy Duck when he encounters the abominable snowman
"And I thought French was a romantic language."
--Daffy Duck, Daffy Duck's Quackbusters
"If I find out you're lying, know this, there is going to be hell to pay,
serious hell."
--Dr. Kimberly Shaw, Melrose Place
"Now if you're done feeling sorry for yourself you can leave."
--Allison Parker, Melrose Place
"Rikem! Rakem! Rokem! Rake! Stick that sword into that snake! Jafar, Jafar,
he's our man, if he can't do it... GREAT!!!"
--The Genie, Aladdin
"What's all this fuss I keep hearing about President Ford wanting to turn
Rhode Island into a steak?"
--Gilda Radner as Emily Littella in Saturday Night Live
"What's all this talk I keep hearing about Eagles Rights?"
--Gilda Radner as Emily Littella in Saturday Night Live
"For instance I think Bambi is a fish."
--Gilda Radner as "Lisa a Spokeswoman for Extremely Stupid People"
"Mr. Ltener you sound like a really attractive guy. You belong in New
Jersey."
--Gilda Radner as "Roseanne Roseannadanna"
"A weekend update correction last week all 29 stories we reported were incorrect,
our apologies."
--Kevin Nealon, Saturday Night Live
"Sometimes when I get really nervous I stick my fingers under my arms and
then smell them like this."
--Mary Catherine Callagar,Saturday Night Live
"Good Evening, I'm Chevy Chase and you're NOT!"
--Chevy Chase, Saturday Night Live
"You call me bitch one more time and I'll scratch your eyes out!"
--Saturday Night Live
"Yo' mama's glasses so thick when she looks at a map she can see people
waving!"
--Jamie Fox, In Living Color
"Damn you Kelly you ate my last Hershey's Kiss you're in the will!"
"Nooooooooo Dad noooooooo!"
--Al and Kelly Bundy, Married With Children
"Did I do that?"
--Steve Urkel, Family Matters
"Evil? You're the one who's evil rebel. I serve the rightful rulers of
Eitheria."
--Adora, The Sword of She-Ra, Part 2
"Are you sure about this Adora they say trolls eat horses!"
"Oh don't be so quick to believe what you hear Spirit."
--Spirit and Adora, She-Ra, "The Crystal Castle"
"For the Honor of Greyskull... I am She-Ra!"
--Princess Adora transforming into She-Ra
"By the power of Greyskull... I have the power!"
--Prince Adam transforming into He-man
"This looks like d..d..d Double Trouble."
--Cringer from the Animated Movie The Secret of the Sword
"Will let's just say you had to choose hypodermically speaking."
--Will's friend in an episode of The Fresh Prince of BelAir
"I'm sixteen years old, I'm NOT a child anymore!"
--Ariel, The Little Mermaid
"Do you trust me?"
"What?"
"Do you trust me?"
"Yesssss..."
"Then JUMP!"
--Aladdin and Jasmine, Aladdin
"Call me Al."
--Aladdin, Aladdin
"Good food, good meat, good god, let's eat!!!"
--Tim Allen, For Richer or For Poorer
"I'm not apologizing to Buzz! I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!"
--Kevin, Home Alone
"Wow!!! What a hole!"
--Marv, Home Alone 2 Lost In New York
"I'm down here you big horse's ass!"
--Kevin, Home Alone 2 Lost In New York
"Oh man I've been shopping all day my feet hurt."
"Well then take them off."
"WHAT?"
"Take them off."
"I can't take off my feet!"
"I'll help you. Here." (Boing boing boing)
"OWWWWWWWWWW!"
"Hold still."
"OWWWWWWWW let go of my feet OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
--Brag and Zorak
"It's like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Tree."
--Chandler from Friends
"So what happens to the old guys?"
"They go into the chipper."
"Well I have a funny feeling that isn't as happy as it sounds."
--Phoebe and Joey in Friends
"I'm not wierd, I'm gifted."
--Can be found on a keyring
"I don't think so, Tim."
--Al, Home Improvement
"Now I kill you until you die from it."
--Hot Shots Part Deux
"Geromino!!!" "Geormino!!!" "MEEEEEEE!!!"
--Hot Shots Part Deux
"Geromino!!!" "Arapaho!!!"....."Pochahontas!!!!"
--Aladdin and the King of Thieves
"We'll setttle this the old Navy way first one to die...loses!!"
--Hot Shots Part Deux
"Come On we're running late"
"Ah yeah we're always running late you ugly skank"
"What did you say?!"
"I said I can't wait to get a fishing tank"
"Oh"
--Ms Crabtree and Stan, South Park
"Sitdown back there Ahhhhhh"
"Yeah whatever ya fat bitch"
"What did you say?!"
"I said I have a bad itch."
--Ms Crabtree and Stan, South Park
"Mr Hat may I please be excused from class?"
"NO! You hear me? You go to hell. You go to hell and you die!"
--Kyle and Mr Hat, South Park
"Ladies and gentlemen my name is John Warshaw I have prepared a statement
for you on behave of the network ::ahem:: F*ck You. Thank you ladies and
gentlemen if there any questions you may direct them to that brick wall over
there."
--The President of the network, South Park
"You're right, I don't care much for Hordak, but I wouldn't leave a slime-crawler
to your brand of mercy."
--She-Ra to Skeletor, She-Ra, Of Shadows and Skulls
"This thing gives me the creeps. You blow it."
"You cowardly hunk of tin! Now blow it!"
--Trap Jaw and Tongue Lashor, He-Man
"All we have to do is blow it, and Eternia will be ours!"
--Tongue Lashor, He-Man
"I think you're feeling the Christmas Spirit, Skeletor. It makes you
feel good."
"Well, I don't like to feel good! I like to feel evil! Ohhh!"
"Don't worry, Skeletor... Christmas only comes once a year."
--He-Man, Skeletor, and She-Ra in the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas
Special
Got a kickass quote you want me to put up? Send it
here.
Thanks to PumMyra for giving me a bunch of these!
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